Online parenting meetings: feedback and helpful information. Consultation for parents “Some questions about a preschool child that worries parents What worries modern parents

Parents of first graders.

Questions that worry parents the most.

How to choose a school?

The choice of school depends on your goals. You can send your child to a comprehensive school, gymnasium or a private lyceum. In any case, it is good if the school is located not far from home - it is convenient for the whole family.

If you are interested in the content of the educational process, then it is best to talk about this topic with the head teacher of primary grades, who will answer questions about the programs and educational kits operating at the school.

Talk to the head teacher about your child's health, perseverance and personality. As an experienced teacher, he will help you choose a teacher who, together with you, during four years of study, will solve emerging problematic issues.

Entering the 1st grade is a crucial step not only for a young citizen, but also (to a much greater extent) for his parents. The fundamental right of parents, enshrined in the Constitution of the Russian Federation, is the right to choose a general educational institution and forms of education for children before they receive basic general education. Only parents decide where to receive general education for their child: in a state, municipal or non-state school, lyceum, gymnasium. Only parents have the right to choose between traditional education within the school walls or at home: in the form of family education, self-education, external studies. In this case, the choice should be made taking into account the opinion of the child.

If the choice is made in favor of family education, then the child has the right to undergo intermediate and final certification in a general education institution, and at any stage, by the decision of the parents, he has the right to continue his studies already at school

As a rule, parents choose a school closer to home, however, in accordance with the Model Regulations on a General Education Institution, they have the right to choose a school they like (including a state or municipal one) in another district. At the same time, children who do not live in this territory may be refused admission only due to the lack of free places in the institution. The standard regulation on a general education institution establishes the maximum occupancy of classes - 25 people.
How old can you bring your child to school?

If on September 1 of the current year your child is at least six and a half years old, and preferably seven. It is by this age that the hand is almost completely formed, which is important for writing. In addition, at the age of six and a half - seven years, children develop the conceptual apparatus necessary for memorizing and understanding the rules.

What should you look for when preparing your child for school?

First of all - on the ability of the future student to communicate with peers, because for 11 years he will not only have to study in a team, but also interact with him. A child in a family should have their own small responsibilities. This creates a sense of responsibility towards society - family, class.

There are families where the child is allowed a lot. He gradually guides his relatives, who indulge him in everything, considering him an exceptional creation of nature. It will be very difficult for a teacher to find a common language with such parents - at first they do not understand the complexity of the situation, and then for a long time do not admit their mistakes.

In addition, a future first grader must have self-service skills: wash, change clothes and shoes without assistance, keep their things in order.

Is school uniform required in grade 1?

The question of the school uniform is decided in each teaching staff individually. The majority of parents have recently been leaning towards school uniforms. Form disciplines children, is an attribute that distinguishes a preschooler from a student. Namely, this is what, as a rule, all children dream of first of all when they enter school - they are now first graders.

What if the child is left-handed, and most children write with their right hand?

In no case should you go against nature and retrain your child. This can lead to serious damage to his health. In addition, special manuals are now being published for left-handed children, in particular, "Recipes for first-graders with learning difficulties in writing and left-handed children" by M. M. Bezrukikh. The consequences of retraining left-handed children are most often of a neuropsychiatric nature: sleep disturbance, increased excitability, enuresis.

What kind of help does a first grader need in math?

Do not prevent the first grader from bending his fingers when counting: thus, he counts the elements of the set, in this case, his fingers. You can count any homogeneous objects - pencils, rulers, etc. Make sure that the number of elements in each group is denoted by the child (a sign in the letter) and not confused the concept of "number" and "number"! Sets can be compared (more or less) and equalized - add or subtract elements so that in both sets of elements it becomes equal. It is better to count within 10. If your child names numbers up to 100, this does not mean that he can count in the sense in which we, adults, do it.

Can I give my child money to go to school?

If you think your child is not eating enough school meals, give him an apple or a sandwich. First graders may not spend the money they receive on food. The spending of money by children of this age should be under the control of parents.

Is there any homework in grade 1?

There are no homework assignments in grade 1. However, if you want to develop high-quality writing, reading, and counting skills in your child, then do not give up the training exercises that the teacher can offer - no one has yet succeeded in learning to swim in the bath.

Can I carry a mobile phone to school?

This decision depends on the administration of the educational institution. It is not recommended for first graders to carry a mobile phone to school - there is a great temptation to call mom for the slightest reason or to play an electronic game in class. In addition, an expensive phone can arouse unhealthy interest in classmates.

Can toys be carried to school?

Yes, you can, but not a game console! Play activity is still significant for a child, a favorite toy often personifies a friend, you can play with it during recess with classmates. It is better if the toy is not bulky and without sharp corners. Unfortunately, today's children often do not play as mothers-daughters or other role-playing roles that enrich their communication. Guys do not always imitate the goodies of television films, so we advise you to watch what your child is watching.

Can a child go home alone after school?

The parents are responsible for the child's health outside of school during non-school hours. The school ensures the safety of students during their stay in the school. Before the start of classes, teachers take pupils from their parents "hand-to-hand", at the end of lessons or the work of an extended day group, teachers give children only to their parents or close relatives.

D we will take parents to school.
Preparing a child for school is, as they say, half the battle. The second half is the preparation of the parents themselves. When in one kindergarten they asked the question what problem dads and mothers care about when preparing their children for school, the parents replied that they themselves feel the most unprepared ...

Even very "big" children are very fond of a bedtime story, a song, and gentle stroking. It soothes, helps relieve stress, and sleep well.
Notes for parents .
1. Only in alliance with the school can the desired results be achieved in the teaching and upbringing of children. The teacher is your first advisor. Maintain his authority.

2. Try to attend every parenting meeting. Respond promptly to an invitation to come to school. If you cannot come, please let the teacher know in advance.

3. Take a systematic interest in your child's school affairs. Rejoice in the success of the little schoolboy. Don't be discouraged by his temporary failures.

4 ... Provide reasonable assistance when needed. Help and supervision should not offend the child. The main task now is to help him gain confidence in his abilities, to love the teaching.

5. Aim your child on the ability to answer the questions "Why?", "How?", "Could it have been done differently?"

6. Listen patiently and with interest to the child's stories. Sharing their experiences with loved ones is a natural need for younger students.

7 . Provide the school with all possible assistance in organizing children's leisure time. Don't wait for the teacher to ask. Take the initiative. Helping the school will help you master the art of parenting and will have a positive impact on your relationship with your children.

8 ... An important condition for raising the level of the family's pedagogical culture is regular pedagogical self-education. Take the time to read books. Read for yourself and with your child. Personal example is the best example to follow.

Emotional support
1. In no case should you ever compare his mediocre results with the standard, that is, with the requirements of the school curriculum, the achievements of other, more successful students. It's better to never compare your child to other children at all (remember your childhood).
2. You can only compare the child with himself and praise only one thing: improving his own results. If in yesterday's homework he made 3 mistakes, and in today's - 2, this should be noted as a real success, which should be appreciated sincerely and without irony by the parents.
3. Compliance with the rules of painless assessment of school success should be combined with the search for such activity in which the child could realize himself and with the maintenance of the value of this activity. No matter what a child who suffers from school failure is successful, in sports, household chores, drawing, construction, etc., in no case should he be blamed for failure in other school affairs. On the contrary, it should be emphasized that once he has learned to do something well, he will gradually learn everything else.
4. Parents must patiently wait for success, for in school matters, the vicious circle of anxiety is most often closed. The school must remain a sphere of benign assessment for a very long time.

The painfulness of the school sphere should be reduced by any means: to reduce the value of school marks, that is, to show the child that he is not loved for good studies, but loved, appreciated, generally accepted as his own child, of course, not for something, but in spite of everything.

TO
how to help your child in the first months of schooling

All parents know that the beginning of education and school is one of the most serious moments in a child's life. But what does this mean? Most of the parents believe that the main thing when starting school is changes, so to speak, socio-psychological: new contacts, new relationships, new responsibilities, a new social role - of a student - with its pros and cons. All this, of course, is essential, but above all - heavy loads.

But the first year at school is also a kind of probationary period for parents, when all their shortcomings are clearly manifested: inattention to the child, ignorance of his characteristics, lack of contact, inability to help. So sometimes they do not have enough patience and condescension, calmness and kindness ... More often, out of good intentions, they themselves become the culprits of school stress. Why? Most likely, because, being outside the school threshold, they do not always understand: adjustment to school does not occur immediately. Not a day or a week is required to get comfortable in the class for real!

An experienced teacher and caring parents know and understand how important it is that requirements, rules and norms of behavior do not depend on the mood of the adult.

Children who were brought up at home before school and therefore had little contact with outside adults require special attention. The child was surrounded by loving mom and dad, grandmother and grandfather, who were indulgent to whims and desires, could not always insist on their own, demand the fulfillment of what the baby did not like very much. At first, such a child at school, as well as at home, tries to be capricious, to insist on his own; and when he meets with resistance, he refuses to study at all. A small student can throw books and notebooks in irritation, burst into tears; and at home he will complain that the teacher does not like him. Unfortunately, such complaints are met not only with the sympathy of the parents (this is necessary), but also with condemnation of the teacher's actions. Even if the requirements of the teacher, in your opinion, are not entirely fair, you should not discuss this problem with the child and with the child. Try to objectively separate the situation without blaming either side.

Someone quickly masters in a new team, works together with comrades and vigilantly follows: who is better, who prevails? But there are many others for whom constant communication with peers in the classroom and during recess is not always possible. Such children do not get close to classmates for a long time, they feel lonely, uncomfortable, at recess they play on the sidelines or huddle against the wall. And others, trying to attract attention to themselves, command, point out, can humiliate a classmate (“You don't understand anything,” “I know you better,” “You don't know how to do this, but I can,” etc.); and also do not find a common language with their comrades. And, having received a rebuff, they often sneak, complain, trying at least to attract the attention of an adult.

How to deal with this situation? First of all, you need to stock up on a lot of patience (both tact and impartiality), otherwise you will not find a sober explanation for the constantly arising conflicts. You need to be able to see your own flaws in the child's behavior; not "personal" shortcomings, but a lack of school readiness. It will take a long time for the baby to realize that he is not "the best", but like many others. And the best skills or great knowledge is not yet a reason to demonstrate superiority and disdain for classmates. You need to try to explain to the child: “Masha cannot write, but she dances well,” “Kolya does not read well, but he is kind and knows a lot about animals,” etc.

We often forget that children look at each other through the eyes of adults, and most often in school - through the eyes of a teacher. The teacher's attitude to the child is an indicator of the attitude towards him and his classmates.

In the first grade, the teacher does not use grades to assess the child's progress, because an unaccustomed mark may be too strong and traumatic, making it difficult for a child to adapt to school. Therefore, instead of traditional numbers, pictures, stamps, asterisks and other symbols are used to evaluate success. In such cases, both stamps and asterisks are equivalent to marks, because all these for the child are conventional signs of his success. Therefore, the anxiety directly associated with the mark still persists. In addition, from the first days of training, the child understands the dependence of his position in the classroom on the grade and turns it into an object of desire and aspiration. But often objective reasons (insufficient readiness for school, poor health, poor motor development, speech defects) do not allow achieving the desired result. All this traumatizes the child, creates an inferiority complex.

Parents should not focus the child's attention on the assessment, but appreciate his desire to learn, his diligence in work. When assessing the success of the baby, try not to compare him with other children, do not emphasize: someone else does it better, especially if you see that the child is making a lot of effort. Do not skimp on praise!

On the eve of September 1, on the initiative of the All-Russian public organization "National Parents' Association for Social Support of Families and Protection of Family Values", an All-Russian parent meeting was held with the Minister of Education Dmitry Livanov. Parents of many regions of Russia had the opportunity to ask questions of concern to them online.

Parents were most interested in issues related to tuition fees and additional classes.

Dmitry Livanov noted that in the near future it is planned to increase funding for additional education, which should give a strong impetus to its development. There is no talk of additional education becoming completely free in the near future, but the state plans to expand the list of free educational services in the future:
"Now the main task of the Ministry of Education and Science of Russia and the entire state as a whole is to establish the boundaries of paid and free education, and the boundaries of the latter must constantly expand."

Also, parents were worried about the validity of "extortion" in schools. “Today schools are funded by the state at a sufficient level,” Dmitry Livanov emphasized. However, many regions still impose unreasonable fees for services that should be free. In case of unreasonable fundraising from parents, the Ministry of Education and Science proposes to submit an appeal in electronic form on the Rossotrudnichestvo website or to regional education departments.

Parents are concerned about the safety of schoolchildren, both in terms of access to information and in terms of health when using electronic textbooks.

As a reminder, from January 1, 2015, any textbook must have an electronic version - this is prescribed by the new Law on Education in Art. 18. But it should not be just a scanned text, but a full-scale multimedia version, with pictures, videos and additional materials. Students and teachers have a choice - to use a book or a device for reading an electronic textbook. Such a device can be either a school computer or laptop, or a student's personal tablet. Parents are pushing for a single federal standard for device requirements, from screen size to technology that is less traumatic for children's eyes. Dmitry Livanov noted that such a device will undergo a mandatory safety examination, from measuring the load on vision to the weight of the device itself, because the main purpose of such textbooks is to save schoolchildren from carrying heavy bags with textbooks.

The regulation of schoolchildren's access to the Internet is also in the spotlight. At the All-Russian Parents' Meeting, a proposal was made to make access to some sites using a passport. According to Dmitry Livanov, the federal system for filtering sites has already been created and is at the testing stage, and soon schools will begin to gradually connect to it. In addition, explanatory work should be carried out in schools, and on September 30, 2014, the day of the Internet, all schools will host an Internet Safety Lesson, where students will be told about both the possibilities and the dangers of the world wide web.

During the dialogue between the minister and parents, the topic of inclusive education was raised. The Education Law provides for non-discriminatory access to education for persons with disabilities, including by organizing inclusive education. Such education presupposes joint education of children of all categories, special skills of the teacher in working with children with disabilities, special technical equipment of the school, etc.

“It is important to create not only conditions for physical access, but also an atmosphere so that the teacher himself is ready for the appearance of such a child in the classroom and knows how to work with him,” the Minister of Education emphasized. But the system of correctional education will not disappear anywhere. In correctional classes and schools, those children will remain who will not be able to join the regular class - for health reasons or because of the peculiarities of the development and perception of information. The cost of government spending on education for students in correctional classes and schools is higher than for regular ones, but this should not be the reason for the reduction of such schools and classes. For each city, an analysis should be carried out, and only taking into account all the factors, a decision can be made to liquidate a correctional school or class. "In any case, the situation of students should not deteriorate!" - said the Minister of Education.

Dmitry Livanov promised that the parents' opinion was heard and taken into account. In the future, such parent meetings will become annual.

In the midst of the school season, many parents think about how to keep their child from over-stressing. The issues of preserving vision are becoming especially relevant, since the load on the eyes occurs not only at school, but also in free time. After all, children often prefer watching movies and cartoons, computer games and mobile applications to walks in the fresh air.

In this article, we've answered some of the most popular parenting questions about children's vision. Narine Ajemyan, Candidate of Medical Sciences, ophthalmologist at the Medsi CDC in Grokholsky Lane helped Letidor to figure out what to fear and what methods are suitable for schoolchildren.

How many hours a day can a child spend in front of a computer or TV?

Despite numerous advertisements about ultra-modern screens that protect the eyes from any radiation, you should not trust them one hundred percent. Modern protective screens can indeed absorb radiation, but only partially.

Parents should make sure that the child spends no more than 30-40 minutes at the computer or TV twice a week.

It is better for children under five to completely exclude the use of gadgets in order to avoid the development of myopia. The organs of vision are not yet fully formed at this age; external influences can be harmful to them. In addition, there is a risk of overwork and severe neurotization, the development of depression and fears, as well as a decrease in attention.

How often do you need to undergo preventive examinations with an ophthalmologist?

In the absence of diseases requiring constant monitoring, children can undergo preventive examinations once a year. If problems are found, the schedule of visiting a specialist will be planned on an individual basis.

The first scheduled examination is carried out in the hospital. A repeat visit is usually scheduled six months after birth. After that, the parents must bring the child to an ophthalmologist at one and three years old.

When the child turns seven years old, the examination will be carried out annually as part of the school health examination.

Which is better - glasses or lenses?

Glasses are familiar, simple and convenient. But they have a drawback - image distortion at the periphery. In addition, it is more convenient to play sports in the lenses. Daytime lenses bring the state of vision as close as possible to "ideal", do not distort the shape and size of objects, which is typical for glasses with strong diopters. This is a great solution in situations where there is a significant diopter difference between the right and left eyes.

The downside is only the risk of infection. The eyes must be kept moisturized to avoid the development of dry eye syndrome.

The main problem associated with correcting vision with lenses in childhood is non-compliance with hygiene rules. The child must understand that the question must be approached responsibly: take care of the lenses, wash their hands before putting them on and off. In this case, the determining factor is the child's personal motivation.

But if the problems arose earlier, then there are no restrictions, provided that the child approaches the question consciously.

Another method of non-surgical correction and one of the most progressive today is orthokeratology. Rigid gas permeable contact lenses are worn at night. They "work" while the person is sleeping. Under the action of the lens, the cornea is flattened in the center and thickens at the periphery. Due to the redistribution of epithelial cells, the light rays are refracted differently, and focusing is carried out on the retina. In the morning, the lenses are removed, and the patient sees perfectly, since the eye retains the shape acquired during the hours of sleep throughout the day. There is no need to use glasses or soft lenses.

Taking care of your orthokeratological (otherwise called "night") lenses is also extremely important to avoid the development of other eye diseases.

Is gymnastics good for the eyes?

The effect of the exercises on the eyes is achieved if done on a regular basis. Don't expect immediate results. For students, this kind of exercise is useful, if only because it helps to relieve stress during the school day. Often these classes are taught by a teacher.

Is it true that blueberries and carrots improve vision?

We've all heard about the incredible benefits of blueberries and carrots. In fact, the vitamins they contain are really effective in maintaining eye health, nourishing the retina, and preventing disease. But they cannot get rid of the existing problem.

For example, in order to provide the retina with the necessary keratin in sufficient quantities per day, it is necessary to eat an average of about 2–2.5 kg of blueberries.

In addition, keratin is absorbed by the body only if it is dissolved in fats - for example, by adding berries to kefir, milk or sour cream. Even if we assume that blueberries enter the body in the right amount, this is not a panacea, since many other factors influence the development of many diseases.

For the prevention of eye diseases, it is recommended to consume lutein-containing foods, these include all green vegetables. But it is better to take special preparations, which contain lutein, anthocyanins (substances that provide the color of leaves and fruits) in the right concentration, since it is physically impossible to eat as much greens as the body needs for clear vision.

How to prepare children for exams? Do I need to raise money to renovate the classroom? Answers to these and others burning questions parents of Moscow schoolchildren can now receive them from the comfort of their homes - at citywide online meetings. They take place every second and fourth Wednesday of the month.

Citywide parenting online meetings are held by the expert advisory council of the parent community at. Everyone who is interested in the issues of education, upbringing and all-round development of children can join them. To do this, you need to turn on live broadcast on the website of the Moscow Educational TV channel or broadcast. Each online meeting brings together school leaders, educators, safety experts, expert council members, and parents and children. These meetings are moderated by the chairman of the council, Lyudmila Myasnikova.

What parents care about

Online meetings bring up sensitive topics of concern to parents. Each period has its own "eternal" questions: for example, at the beginning school year the participants in the meetings often discuss the organization of an extension program, additional education, and paid services in schools. In the spring, the agenda is headed by the topic of exam preparation, as well as the celebration of graduation.

Much attention at online meetings is paid to the topic of safety and the prevention of negative manifestations among students. Specialists from relevant departments tell parents about what to look for in a child's behavior, what addictions exist, how to deal with them and, most importantly, where to get professional advice and help.

The agenda of the online meeting is formed from the questions of parents, as well as relevant and interesting topics suggested by specialists. The selector's guests talk about innovative lessons, inclusive education, and the organization of school self-government. Students also perform on the online platform - for example, winners of various competitions and olympiads, active representatives of school government.

Problem solving live

Citywide Online Meetings are an effective feedback tool between schools and parents so that parents can have a direct impact on school life. Since the beginning of the broadcast of such meetings in live we have already managed to solve many of the problems that worried the mothers and fathers of Moscow schoolchildren.

For example, after numerous appeals to the expert advisory council, vending machines with soda, chips and chocolates disappeared from the educational institutions of the capital. Representatives of the companies that supply these devices to schools received many questions live from parents and education experts.

The adults spoke unanimously - there is much more harm than good from vending machines. Frequent snacking is harmful to digestion, especially when it comes to high-calorie foods. Participants in the online meeting decided to send a recommendation to the Department of Education to remove existing vending machines from schools, and also advised not to conclude new contracts for their installation. Now parents of schoolchildren do not have to worry about their children buying chips and soda during recess.

Parents regularly raise the topic of raising money to renovate classrooms and schools, so this issue will certainly be discussed at one of the online meetings. Moms and dads of Moscow students should know that these fees are not needed. This is the opinion of the expert advisory council. To prove this, experts will tell you how the repairs are financed.

The organizers receive many personal messages after each online meeting. Parents write about conflicts and problems that arise in their children, which require serious targeted work. In such cases, members of the expert council go to school and understand the situation. If this problem and ways of solving it can be useful to a wide audience, the topic is included in the agenda of the next meeting.

Everyone is watching

The Moscow educational TV channel began broadcasting citywide parent online meetings in November 2014. At first it was a webcast, now the channel has switched to broadcasting, but the recordings of all discussions can be seen on the website of the expert advisory council.

For 2.5 years, 45 city online meetings were held in Moscow, the broadcasts of which were watched by more than 36 thousand people. Most likely, the real audience is even larger, since not only parents can gather in front of the screen, but also other family members - grandmothers, grandfathers, children. In addition, such broadcasts are interesting for teachers and educators who learn from the experience of colleagues.

The schools appreciated the advantages of the online format. Since last year, large educational associations, which physically cannot bring all parents together, began to hold meetings on the Internet. She was one of the first to pick up this trend. General school meetings are held here every two months, and up to five thousand parents participate in them.

In a family where a teenager is growing up, parents every day have questions about how to communicate with a child, how to resolve conflicts that arise and how to behave.

Today we will tell you about proper communication with a teenager and the peculiarities of his emotional upbringing.

Friends are more important than family

In adolescence, children are preoccupied with the question of self-identification: who am I? who am i becoming? who am I supposed to be? Therefore, do not be surprised if at some point your child's interest in family matters weakens, and relationships with friends come to the fore. In the end, it is through friendship outside the usual boundaries of home that he learns who he is. However, even in relationships with peers, the adolescent focuses mainly on himself.

For most teens, friendship is a vehicle for self-exploration. They are very absorbed in themselves, all the time trying to study their character traits.

But the path of self-inquiry is not always smooth. Hormonal changes can cause uncontrolled and dramatic mood changes.

One of the important challenges that adolescents face in their research is the integration of mind and emotion. Whereas the rational Star Trek hero Mr. Spock can serve as the symbol of primary school children, Captain Kirk as commander of the Starship Enterprise will be the symbol of teenagers.

Kirk is constantly faced with situations where his highly sensitive, human side is opposed to logic and experience. Of course, a good captain always finds the right balance to ensure that his team performs flawlessly. He makes decisions the way we want our teens to make them when they find themselves in situations where the heart hears one thing and the mind says another.

The teenager looks like Captain Kirk. -.

Suddenly, a teenager realizes that the world is not only black and white, that it is made up of many shades of gray and, like it or not, it also has these shades.

Changing the role of parents

Adolescence is a difficult period both for a child who is looking for his own path and for his parents. Your child now has to do most of the research without you. As social educator Michael Riera writes: “Until now, you have played the role of a manager in a child’s life: making travel arrangements and visits to doctors, planning extracurricular activities and weekends, helping with and checking homework. He told you about school life, and you were usually the first person he approached with "important" questions. And suddenly, without warning or explanation, you were relieved of your post.

Have a heart-to-heart talk with your child. -.

Naturally, this should be a very subtle transition. The client will not hire a consultant who makes him feel incompetent or threatens to take away his business. The client needs a consultant whom he can trust, who understands his mission and gives the right advice to help him achieve his goals.

For a teenager, the main task is to achieve independence. And how should you play the role of a consultant? How can you stay close enough to be an emotional caregiver and still allow your child to develop independently as a full grown adult needs?

Here are some tips based in large part on the work of psychologist Haim Ginott.

Recognize adolescence is a time when children are estranged from their parents

Parents need to understand that teenagers need privacy. Eavesdropping on conversations, reading a diary, or too many leading questions tell the child that you do not trust him and create a barrier to communication. Your child may begin to see you as an enemy rather than an ally during difficult times. Along with respecting your child's privacy, you must respect their right to be anxious and unhappy from time to time.

Give your child room to experience deep feelings, allow him to experience sadness, anger, anxiety or discouragement, and do not ask questions such as, "What's wrong with you?" Because they imply that you disapprove of his emotions.

There is another danger: If your teen suddenly opens his heart to you, try not to show that you understood everything instantly. Your child is facing a problem for the first time, he feels that his experience is unique, and if adults show that they are well aware of the motives of his behavior, the child feels offended. So take the time to listen and hear your teenager. Do not assume that you know and understand in advance everything that he wants to say.

Adolescence is also a time when personality develops. Your child may choose to dress, hairstyle, music, art and language that you don't like, so always remember that you don't need to approve of his choice, you just need to accept it. And do not try to imitate your child, let his clothes, music, gestures and speech publicly declare: "I am different from my parents, and I am proud of it."

Adolescence is the time to find yourself. -.

Show respect for your teens

Imagine for a moment that your best friend began to treat you the way many parents treat their children. How do you feel when you are constantly corrected, reminded of flaws, or teased about the most sensitive topics? What should you do if your friend gives you verbose lectures and condemningly explains what and how you should do with your life?

Most likely, you will decide that this person does not respect you too much and does not care about your feelings. Over time, you will stop trusting him and, most likely, your paths will diverge.

This is not to say that parents should treat their teens like friends (parent-child relationships are much more complicated), but your children certainly deserve just as much respect as your friends. Therefore, try not to criticize your children. Communicate your values \u200b\u200bconcisely and without judgment. Nobody likes to listen to sermons, least of all your teenager.

If you have conflicts about your child's behavior, do not use common labels (lazy, greedy, careless, selfish) to label them. Speak in terms of concrete actions. For example, tell him how his actions have influenced you. (“You hurt me a lot when you leave without washing the dishes because I have to do your job.”) And of course, don't try to tell your teenager to do the opposite of what you really want, expecting him to do the opposite and this way you will get the desired result. These dishonest attempts to manipulate the child are confusing and rarely work.

It is not worth it for a long time and you need to chastise the child for wrongdoing, this will not achieve anything. -.

Provide your child with an appropriate environment

There is a popular saying: it takes a whole village to raise a child. She is fairest in her teens. So get to know the people who are involved in everyday life your teenager, including friends and parents of friends.

We cannot be like “one and all” to our children, especially in adolescence, so we have to surround them with good people. This could be a school, relatives, or a group of friends. But you must make sure that your children are in contact with adults who share your ideals and ethical principles. These should be people that your child can rely on, already naturally and inevitably distancing from you, but still needing guidance and support.

Encourage independent decision-making and continue to be your child's emotional caregiver

Choosing the right degree of participation in the life of a teenager is one of the most difficult challenges parents face. Whereas in the past, encouraging self-reliance was about allowing children to do what they were ready to do, now is the time when they must make decisions about the really important things.

A teenager should more often say: “The choice is yours”, express confidence in the correctness of his judgments and try not to show hidden resistance under the guise of preventing a possible unfavorable outcome of the case. Nowadays, encouraging self-reliance means that from time to time you allow your teenager to make unwise (but not dangerous) decisions.

Friends are very important to a teenager. -.

Remember that a teenager can learn not only from their successes, but also from their mistakes. And learning will be all the more effective if he has a caring adult nearby - one who will help to cope with negative emotions in case of failure and explain how to find solutions in the future.

Therefore, accept and validate your child's emotional experiences. If he has problems, listen empathetically, but don't judge. Be his ally when he comes to you for help. These steps are extremely simple, but they are the basis for forming a deep emotional bond between parent and child.

Based on the books "Emotional Intelligence of a Child" and "You Can Do More Than You Think."

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