Where did the handshake come from? And why is a woman not given her hand if she does not give it first?

It is believed that the handshake dates back to the primitive warlike times. Then, stretching out their hand to each other, people showed that they had no weapons, that they came in peace. That is why traditionally it makes sense to serve only your right hand (even if you are left-handed).
According to another theory, the handshake originated during knightly tournaments. When the duel of the two knights dragged on and it was clear that they were equal in strength, the opponents drove up to each other in order to discuss the peaceful outcome of the duel. Having gathered, the knights stretched out their hands for a handshake and held them like this until the end of the negotiations, thereby protecting themselves from possible deceit and deception on the part of the enemy. That is why the handshake is now prevalent mainly among men.

A handshake is a traditional, symbolic gesture of greeting. In our time, they began to abuse it a little. So, for example, colleagues who meet at work every day do not have to shake hands in the morning and evening. Sharing your hand, it is useful to remember not to offer it to your friend relaxed, lazy, as if handing over to hold the jellyfish. But you should also not shake your partner's hand with all your might, shaking it in the air several times. Give your hand in a free, confident gesture. The squeeze should be short.

A woman, when greeting, may not take off her glove. An exception may be a meeting with a woman much older than himself. Men, greeting each other, remain in gloves. But if one of them took off his, there is nothing to be done - the other must follow his example.

If a man greets a woman with gloves, he may not take off his either. Exception: thick fur mittens.

The custom of kissing a woman's hand at a meeting is becoming a thing of the past, remaining a national feature of Poles.

If, when meeting on the street, you hold out your hand to greet, remember that in this case you must have both hands without gloves, or both. However, it is not supposed to stretch out a gloved hand to a woman who does not have gloves. When greeting a man or someone younger than you, you don't have to adhere to this rule. A deviation from etiquette is also possible for a woman who welcomes a younger woman without gloves.

Entering the room, you must first take off your gloves, and then say hello to those present. Of course, we are not talking about gloves that complement the evening dress.

It must be remembered that during the presentation, regardless of whether you yourself, or someone introduces you to the audience, you should not be the first to shake hands. Also, do not approach each of those present and shake hands. In this case, limit yourself to a slight bow and you will pay attention to all those present.

How to greet acquaintances when meeting? The first is always the man who greets the woman, the younger with the older. The woman, in turn, should be the first to say hello to the older one. If an older woman gives you a hand while you are sitting, you are supposed to stand up.

Shaking hands is accepted among men, women for some reason rarely shake hands with each other. It turns out that this custom is not so simple, according to the manner and strength of the handshake, important conclusions can be drawn and significant information about a person can be obtained.

A handshake is a common welcome gesture, a sign of peacefulness and respect. Apparently, the tradition arose to shake hands when meeting in ancient times, when people who had no aggressive plans demonstrated that they had no weapons. This meaning has long been lost, and the habit of shaking hands has been preserved. The inquisitive minds of scientists have reached this area. In the process of studying, a lot of amazing facts emerged.

The smell of a handshake

It's not just animals that exchange smells. It turns out that with the help of handshakes we unconsciously study smells. This conclusion is based on the results of the experiment. 300 people were invited to the meeting. Some were greeted by shaking hands. Then the researchers followed the behavior of the test subjects using a hidden camera: the "handshakes" brought their hand to their nose twice as often as the others. Scientists have found that when hands touch, people exchange chemicals.

What you can learn when shaking hands

Scientists at the University of Alabama claim that the strength of the handshake can be used to judge the type of personality. shake hands uncertainly and weakly, but behave much more energetically, leaving a positive impression of themselves. By this gesture, you can determine the mood of the interlocutor. So, a person who gives his hand in such a way that it is on top, intends to control the situation. If the interlocutor holds out his hand with his palm up, he is ready to obey. Palms meeting vertically speak of the mood for an equal relationship.

One correct handshake is as effective as three hours of negotiations. Scientists striving to measure and classify everything in the world have built a formula for the ideal handshake. We will not bore you with unnecessary philosophizing - you are unlikely to use this knowledge in life. In general, the secret of success is simple: look into the eyes of the interlocutor, smile sincerely, shake hands firmly without holding the palm of the other person for more than three seconds.

Scientists from Canada have proved that by the nature of the handshake, one can judge the health and biological age of a person. We don't know if you can use the information of Canadian experts, but the strength of a handshake of a person full of strength is 300 Newtons, and each decrease in this indicator by 50 Newtons increases the risk of death by 16%. The manner of shaking hands is inherited: 65% in this gesture are determined by genetics, 35% depend on education and well-being. Psychologists are inclined to think that a vigorous handshake indicates good inheritance.

Differences in tradition

The national characteristics of handshakes are much more varied than one might think. The Swedes shake hands the hardest of all, and Pakistani men shake the most sluggish handshake. For most Europeans, a firm handshake is considered good form, but in the Middle East and Turkey this is not accepted - well-mannered people only indicate a gesture with a weak squeeze of the palm. In Africa, a friendly disposition is shown by shaking hands with both hands, but it is unacceptable to squeeze the hand strongly.

In some countries, the ritual changes depending on social status. In South Korea, the hand outstretched by the boss must be taken in both palms, and one hand can only greet friends.

For Muslims, it is impossible to shake hands between a woman and a man, since Islam forbids touching a representative of the opposite sex if he is not your relative.

Residents of the UK rarely shake hands and almost never say goodbye. But the Germans and Swiss shake hands at every opportunity.

Tradition Saudi Arabia: The host first shakes the guest's palm, then puts his left hand on his shoulder and kisses on both cheeks. In some Muslim countries, after shaking hands, it is customary to put your right hand to your heart. There are also very strange customs for us. For example, the Maasai living in Africa spit on their hands before giving it, while in the Congo they blow on their hands. The Japanese have an outstretched hand - a sign of aggression; in this country, people bow to each other when they meet.

Handshake rules

This, seemingly, formality is important, because our first impression of a person often depends on a gesture. A handshake speaks eloquently about interest or, conversely, about complete indifference, to express weakness or confidence, to demonstrate sincerity or intention to hide something. With this informative gesture, we send a subtle but powerful impulse about our intentions.

If you strive to make a favorable impression and create the right mood from the first seconds of communication, master the rules of handshaking.

• Assess the situation before you start extending your hand in greeting. There are no hard and fast rules, but there are some restrictions. For example, if a person is significantly older and higher in status than you, it is appropriate to wait for the first movement from his side. The same applies to communication with unfamiliar people. Keep in mind that a handshake is a special sign that should not be used in all cases without exception. Shake hands with people who are important to you, who are respected, and those you pay special attention to.
• A sluggish handshake is evidence of lack of will, lack of interest, or insecurity. A vigorous hand shake should not be overly strong. Your task is not to show strength, but to indicate a friendly disposition.
• Choose a distance not too large so that the interlocutor does not have the impression that you are pushing him away, but not too short, as if you want to pull the person close to you. This kind of hospitality will be appropriate when meeting friends.
• Your palm should not be wet. Everyone is familiar with the sensation of touching a not quite dry and cool hand. When going to an important meeting, wash your hands thoroughly and do not squeeze them. If you know about your problem and are not sure that you can keep your hands dry, it is better to use deodorant or put a dry napkin in your pocket to wipe your hand discreetly.
• When shaking hands, make eye contact so as not to give the impression of being dishonest or insincere.
• Never reach down with your palm down - this is a gesture of superiority that no one might like.
• A hand with the palm facing up indicates your willingness to obey.
• The optimal number of shaking hands in a handshake is three, but never drag out the greeting to more than seven.
• If a hand is extended to you when you are sitting, stand up - this will show respect for the person.
• When greeting each other with a handshake, men should take off their gloves, regardless of the weather. Women, according to the rules of etiquette, may not take off their gloves on the street, but indoors and they bare their hand.
• Politicians often use the “Glove” handshake, in which one of the interlocutors covers the palm of the other with two hands. This demonstrates openness and purity of intentions. However, when you meet, you should not use the Glove, as this technique causes the opposite effect - people are alert and reluctant to make contact.
• The right hand is intended for a handshake, this rule works even for left-handers. But if your right hand, for example, is dirty, you can stretch out your left one, explaining the reason for this behavior.
• When a woman and a man meet, according to the rules of etiquette, the first hand, if desired, is extended by the woman.
• When people of different ages meet, the elder decides whether there will be a handshake.
• When introduced, the first person to shake hands is the one introduced.
• If someone has extended a hand to you, the rules of good manners are to respond to a greeting. Ignoring a hand hanging in the air is considered an insult.
• As you approach a group of people you know, shake hands with everyone present.
• In order not to get confused when two couples meet, use the following rule: traditionally, women stand to the right of men, and they shake hands first, then men, after which men can shake hands.

Remember that shaking hands with everyone is completely unacceptable. This greeting can be compared to addressing "you" to loved ones and "you" to everyone else.

Updated date: 16.03.2018

Most often, the greeting ceremony ends with a handshake. In the distant past, the ritual demonstrated peaceful intentions - after all, there were no weapons in the hands. For a handshake, the right hand is usually served, this rule also applies to left-handers. However, if the right hand is busy or damaged, you can submit, after apologizing, your left hand. In this case, the free hand should not be in the pocket.

When offering your hand, you cannot keep it relaxed, as if handing to hold the frog. But you should not squeeze your partner's hand with all your strength, shaking it in the air. Shake your hand confidently, shake it calmly, lightly and briefly.

You should not shake the palm with your two hands, just as you should only use your fingertips to shake.

In case you are, he should be the first to lend a hand.

Man and woman

When a man and a woman meet, the lady decides whether or not to be a handshake. Etiquette prescribes the first to give a hand to a woman. Also, when meeting people of different ages, the initiative should come from older comrades. If a lady or a person older than you in position or age decides to show a slight bow and verbally greet you, you should not insist on shaking hands. However, if you leave the outstretched hand hanging in the air, it will be regarded as an insult.

Having met a friend in the company of other people, he will politely shake hands with each of them.

In the event that you meet with a group of people, among whom is your acquaintance, the rules of good manners require that you shake hands with everyone present.

Outside

On the street, etiquette dictates that men take off their gloves, but women do not have to. When shaking hands, both hands should be without gloves, or both should be wearing them. If your counterpart has already pulled off the glove, you will have to follow his example. But this rule of etiquette does not apply to mittens: they must be removed before shaking hands for everyone.

In room

When entering the room, first of all, take off your gloves, and only then greet those present. When leaving, it is also acceptable to shake hands if the company was small. A person who systematically walks around the living room and shakes hands with everyone looks rather ridiculous. Also, do not go to greet across the room with an outstretched hand. With a large crowd of people, it is enough to say hello or say goodbye to everyone with a slight bow.

How couples greet each other

For couples who greet each other with a handshake, there is an order that avoids crossed palms.

At the same time, first the ladies who are to the right of their companions shake hands with each other. Then hands are given to the men. The greeting ends with a man's handshake. If the ladies are facing each other, then this position further simplifies the greeting: women and men shake hands at the same time. Then one of the men walks around his companion from behind and shakes the lady's hand extended to him.

It is worth remembering about cultural differences, where a handshake between a woman and a man is impossible in principle, because touching people of the opposite sex is one of the strictest taboos.

Also, do not abuse handshaking in case of frequent meetings during the day, for example, at work. This is impractical, and it looks a little ridiculous.

»Handshake, meaning

What does the handshake mean? Different types of handshakes and their meaning

The handshake is an essential element of non-verbal communication. This is the key that opens or closes the door, if only you give it the necessary and sufficient attention.

The handshake is also a magic test that allows you to quickly and with high certainty know whether the conversation will end with a positive result easily and naturally, or if you have to sweat a lot to get the expected result. Knowing that shaking hands too quickly portends a fruitless conversation can be very helpful. It will be equally helpful to always remember that an exaggeratedly drawn handshake indicates that you are a very welcome guest.

The elusive, sluggish, strong, short, average, or endless handshake - they all say a lot about the person you are dealing with. By carefully listening to the sensations of a handshake, you can understand a lot about the interlocutor, avoid wasting valuable time in fruitless negotiations.

What does a handshake mean?

When you meet someone, the first thing to notice is the way they reach out.

When shaking hands, your interlocutor holds his hand at a right angle, pressing his elbow to his body.

This gesture belongs to a subject who can offer you nothing but his own time. You owe him already because he agreed to accept you. If you do not have an urgent need to persuade or seduce this person, reduce the visit time to a minimum, since you will not receive any benefit. Your interlocutor is unavailable, closed and very calculating.

Your interlocutor's hand remains glued to the body.

This forces you to reach out to shake his hand. In this case, you find yourself face to face with a character who values \u200b\u200bhis privileges and is not inclined to show sympathy the first time.

Your interlocutor stretches his hand far out for a handshake.

Most likely, he needs your support, that's why he stretches out his hand - so that you come to the rescue. He becomes fully available and inevitably becomes disposed and spontaneous. This handshake means a friendly welcome.

Your interlocutor unrestrainedly stretches out his hand in your direction.

As an extrovert, he just helps you get up to speed quickly. He will agree to buy your product or service if you can present an argument at the RIGHT moment.

When you shake hands, the interlocutor holds out only his fingertips to you.

Such a handshake betrays a fugitive who is responsible for something only in words. It's a shame that later on such a person can put on a friendly look, because of which you will simply forget about how he faked at the very beginning.

So the aforementioned handshake is a real confession in faking or withholding. Your interlocutor pretends to accept you, will pretend to listen to you and promise you to think about it, pretending to see you off. All for fun, including you!

With a wide smile, the interlocutor stretches out his left hand for a handshake, although he is definitely not left-handed.

Even if his right hand is occupied, such a greeting, accompanied by the same hypocritical smile, is purely an expression of antipathy. In fencing, at the end of the fight, opponents who do not respect each other perform a handshake with their left hands. A provocateur, a gossip or a manipulator will always do so to trap you in the doorway and fish out all of you. He will repeat lies in order to find out the truth, betray everyone and everything (do not flatter yourself, you too) and meaningfully pretend that some divine revelation is available to him.

If you have the discernment to anticipate this gesture, we strongly recommend that you do not shake his hand. At the very least, it will make him respect you. The next time you meet him, give up his left hand if he does not consider it possible to reach out with his right. If, in spite of everything, you are forced to respond to such a handshake, tie a knot on your handkerchief. This knot will remind you of what awaits you if you contact this person.

The other person shakes your hands and forearms with both hands with a smile.

If the other person shakes your hands and forearms with both hands, you are trapped. He takes the initiative and neutralizes all your defensive and offensive mechanisms from the very beginning of the game. Such a handshake can also indicate that both heroes are in a difficult situation and need each other. This kind of handshake betrays a predator.

The interlocutor shakes your hand, folding his own in the form of a duck's beak.

Another handshake telling you that you are not particularly welcome or that the other person does not respect you very much. This contemptuous type does not even consider it necessary to hide his attitude. He uses this simple manipulation to force you to open cards. If you're lucky, you can see how his behavior towards you changes. He will not even deny himself the pleasure of justifying the coldness at the beginning of the conversation with some kind of misunderstanding. Hypocritical and vicious, he will quickly pluck you like a chicken, if only you give him the opportunity.

Most often, you can see the middle handshake with a bent arm. The arm is bent at a right or obtuse angle, the handshake is energetic, but no frills. Your interlocutor is generally constructive, but wants to know more and get to know you better. A priori, he is moderately open, but everything will change if you manage to arouse his interest. A bent arm feels less friendly than a long handshake. Be as careful as possible in the event that you meet with an interlocutor on business matters, whether employment or cooperation. A long handshake will be an exception, an average one will be the norm, as for a short handshake, it belongs to people who are powerful or impersonate.

The meaning of the hand when shaking hands

Now let's look at the location of the hand when shaking hands. Most often, the interlocutor's brush is vertical and parallel to yours.

• horizontal palm facing up (instep support);
• horizontal palm facing down (pronator);
• vertical palm.

Most of the handshakes take place in the latter way, but it also happens that when meeting, the handshake participates in the game for primacy.

A subject extending his hand with his palm down is subordinate, upward is dominant. A hand turned up has more handshakes than a hand turned down. By observing the position of the hands when shaking hands, you can instantly determine the mutual hierarchical position of the greeting. A person who stretches his hand palm down is under the direct influence of the one whose hand is palm up.

What, then, is a vertical handshake? Neither dominant nor subordinate, but equal. From the very beginning, your interlocutor wants to be on an equal footing with you.

It also happens when, when shaking hands, the hands meet, but the palms do not touch. Although your interlocutor greets you with a wide smile and energetically extends his hand, there is no exchange of energy with such a handshake. The palms are separated from each other. You will not pay attention to the manner of shaking hands if your thoughts are busy with something else, such as an upcoming conversation. Meanwhile, the air cushion clearly indicates that your palm and the palm of the interlocutor are avoiding each other. There is no sympathy in the meeting menu.

Repulsion often comes from someone who extends his hand turned inward, palm down. Those who turn the palm down give up the initiative from the very beginning of the game, while those who turn upwards try to impose their superiority at the same time. You are an unexpected guest. And if at the end of the meeting such a handshake is repeated again, then you will receive confirmation of your first observation.

Handshake distance

Separating you from the other person shaking hands, distance is just as (if not more) important as the manner of the handshake. It is a reliable indicator of your counterpart's disposition level. We strive to stay closer with people who are close and pleasant to us, and away from unsympathetic people. Convenient interpersonal distance with loved ones and friends - down to a minimum, with colleagues - somewhere 0.5-1 m. It is better to keep even further with the boss.

A sharp reduction in the distance when shaking hands can lead to a loss of orientation in the semantic structure of the conversation. The interlocutors feel somehow uncomfortable. By the reaction of the interlocutor, you can see that you are breaking the distance. If, when shaking hands, you invade her / his personal space, he will feel discomfort and will try to pull away from you. One leans over his desk, the other leans back in his chair and thus maintains a distance for escape. If it is impossible to move away (for example, in a cramped elevator), he will assume a closed position (arms crossed on his chest, leg by leg, etc.).

Energetic handshake

You probably weren't particularly surprised when parting after negotiations was accompanied by more energetic handshakes than a meeting; an indispensable condition - in the process of dialogue, mutual sympathy was born. It also happens the other way around, when, after unsuccessful attempts to negotiate, the farewell handshake is dropped with the tacit consent of both parties.

In any case, be very careful about the manner in which you are shaking hands. No matter how short the handshake is, the handshake must be pleasant, otherwise it is in your best interest to take the distance.

Quite a large part of your feelings and the feelings of your interlocutor are expressed in the blink of an eye with the contact of the palms. The social intelligence of your hands is a powerful subconscious signal of likes or dislikes that your consciousness hides as it conquers an attainable goal.

A firm handshake

Every time the other person shakes your hand, he squeezes it too tightly.

For example, when the boss crushes your hand when shaking, then he demonstrates his strong-willed character. He clearly lacks confidence, otherwise there would be no need for this bragging.

This kind of handshake is often found in those who are in search of conflict in order to get rid of a painful sense of inferiority. This is quite popular, although far from the only one and not the most the best way raise self-esteem when you feel in a vulnerable position. If you react with a grimace of exaggerated pain, he'll love it. Your facial expressions will warm his pride. “You are strong,” your hand will say, gripped as if in a vice.

Sluggish handshake

Through this tactile exchange, you can transmit an energy signal to another or deny him this. A sluggish hand is the very case when energy exchange is denied.

A lax handshake usually belongs to a weak-willed person, even if he has some power. Do not trust the scale of his activities or reputation, they are overblown; trust his handshake, which is more eloquent than his fake smile. It's a bum. The flaccid handshake usually belongs to the eternal student or politician, whose ambition is infinitely inflated in comparison to his charisma and real leadership potential.

Mechanical handshake

The other person shakes your hand while looking over your shoulder. This is a mechanical handshake. It indicates a lack of respect for the owner of the outstretched hand, who is perceived as something ghostly.

Languid handshake

The interlocutor languidly holds her hand, palm down in yours, as if for a kiss. A handshake takes precedence over her complaints and laments. Your interlocutor is really submissive or very sensual, which can get along just fine. This kind of handshake gives submissive womanin love with the masculine power or irresistibility of her interlocutor. This contact is pleasant, although a little sluggish.

Your interlocutor shakes your hand with feigned languor, meanwhile you noticed that he greeted other people differently. Such a special handshake means refusing to recognize you as equal or even worthy.

Handshake fingers

Instead of reaching out to you with their hand, they only extend their index finger to you.

In the eyes of the interlocutor there is only a virtual image that will dissipate ten seconds after you leave. Your interlocutor is symbolically preparing to say goodbye to you, without even having met. Such a gesture betrays demotivation, additionally tinged with distrust in relation to the one to whom he is giving his finger instead of his open hand.

If your interlocutor has a habit of shaking hands in this way, know that he belongs to the category of people who take on business only superficially and keep their promises in exceptional cases.

Is there a difference in the meaning of the gesture depending on the number of fingers extended? Hardly. In any case, we do not recommend getting close to the person who shakes your hand in this way. And if, in spite of everything, you still have to endure a handshake with your fingers for family or any other reasons, think of something so that you do not shake hands next time; you can try to copy the gesture and stretch your finger in response

An elusive handshake

A handshake glance slips somewhere far away. A mesmerizing sight, as this pose gives the manipulator the appearance of almost a biblical prophet. "I can see even further than you might guess" - this is the hidden meaning of this handshake.

Some Democratic politicians unnecessarily abuse this view and do not realize that they are devaluing their public image. A dictator may have the same habit, but he is sure that he does not risk losing votes at all because of some gesture. Take a closer look at the small bosses with a similar look that you have to meet in the office, it can be rewarding.

When you shake hands, the interlocutor's hand slips away like an eel. As soon as you have time to shake his hand, yours is completely empty, hovering in the air. If the other person shakes hands in an elusive way, run! Human duality is the highest degree of hypocrisy, and you will see this very soon. You are facing a scammer who, at best, will give you a fake smile. You have to be completely blind and deaf to trust him. He is stingier than Moliere's Harpagon (a character personifying greed). If you are going to sell him something, even if the deal goes through, then he will find many reasons why you will lower the price.

Shoulder touch when shaking hands

Standing to your side, the interlocutor places his right hand on your left shoulder. Shoulder squeezing is typically manipulative intimacy if it occurs outside of a friendship or love relationship.

The same can happen on the right side, but then the meaning will be completely different. The right shoulder is the symbolic center of ambition, and by placing a hand on it, your interlocutor is probably playing overlord.

For example, the boss leaves his office to go around all the departments of the enterprise and greet the employees and say an additional encouraging word to everyone. After shaking hands, he always holds his hand on the employee's right shoulder.

Therefore, touching the shoulder is a common sign of an aggressive (or intrusive) handshake.

Intruding (aggressive) handshake

It also happens to touch other parts of the body. A handshake like this is a bit intrusive, and physical intrusion is just a prelude to psychological intrusion. A conqueror is almost always a liar. He lures you to his field by force. He pulls you into his desires. His handshake is a micro-message that expresses his goals in a concise and clear way. He is counting on you completely and completely before you even agree to anything.

If such a handshake comes from a friend, then there is nothing more to talk about. However, there are friends with whom it is better to be enemies. But if they are in business relations with you, then you need to urgently take back. Your interlocutor expects to ask you much more than you will be able to offer him. He wants to influence or manipulate you from the very first minute of meeting.

The classic conqueror is the cattle driver, and physical contact is his favorite weapon. He will squeeze your hand with such enthusiasm, as if you met after twenty years of separation. He will grab your elbow, cling to your sleeve, emphasizing his speech, in short, he will take over your body. Running from the field in such conditions is not very convenient. But if you remember this method of manipulation, in the event of anxiety, your distrust will receive the necessary evidence.

Two-handed handshake

If the interlocutor shakes your hand with both hands, then he is pretending to be friendly, which he does not feel at all. Outwardly, this is an ardent gesture, but such a handshake betrays the predatory nature of the one who performs it. The interlocutor pretends that you are the same person who has been looking forward to for so long and who has finally come.

What does a two-handed handshake mean? If your boss shakes your hand in this way, it's best to prepare for petty nagging or even punishment. When it comes to visiting a merchant, spit on all his offers, because he only needs to expand his business, and you are a lucky victim who will allow him to get out of a predicament. Why does he need both hands? Perhaps in order to incarcerate your mechanisms of determination ...

Long handshake

The interlocutor squeezes your hand for an exaggeratedly long time, in fact, does not release it.

The longer the handshake, the more fake it is. This handshake is an act of manipulation, a kind of hidden submission under the guise of friendliness. Logically squeeze the right hand, which symbolizes the left hemisphere of the brain, that is, rational intelligence.

The abnormal length of a handshake is a carefully calculated way to absorb and subdue your logical thinking and disable defenses. A long handshake is one of the favorite gestures of all kinds of gurus. He does not need you, but your unconditional acceptance of his doctrine and submission to his desires.

When seduced, the initiator of an endless handshake tries to convey a love message to a person who he really likes, but to whom he does not want to declare his love. He holds his hand for as long as possible, looking out for the slightest hint of reciprocity or rejection on the face of his victim. With this handshake, a double grip is possible at the level of the wrist, the center of a sense of security and insecurity. An unconscious way to calm the interlocutor by expanding the channel of emotional exchange.

If this is your friend, then it is better to keep your distance, since his friendship can depend entirely on the benefits derived from it. The gesture is aimed at penetrating your defense system. Along with this, the handshake in question is often accompanied by what are called carnivorous hands - your hand is enclosed in the jaw of the interlocutor's clenched hands.

"Can I get my hand back?" This witty joke is almost the only way to regain sufficient distance with the manipulator without touching it too much. If you closely observe his gaze as he looses his grip, you may notice a glint that betrays frustration. It’s as if he realized that you have frustrated his plans and your critical thinking is working again. Do not weaken your defenses throughout the conversation; exaggeratedly long handshakes are synonymous with hidden threat from the side of someone who is trying to take possession of your hand, and therefore, your mind.

Seated handshake

The owner of the office shakes your hand without even bothering to get up to greet you. No overlord rises to greet his vassal. If he did so, he would signal hierarchical equality. A boss who accepts you in this way needs any confirmation of his shaken authority. But if he gets up to walk you to the door, you can be sure that you have conquered him. If he lets you go without getting up, then he believes that you wasted his precious time. It is by such little things that you can evaluate the outcome of a meeting or meeting.

Who is the first to shake hands?

If your interlocutor, when meeting, is the first to extend his hand for a handshake, then you have carte blanche. If you are, then you have to work hard to convince him of the benefits of your visit.

In any game, the one who extends his hand first loses more often. Therefore, the popular expression “The main thing is the ability to keep a pause, the more the artist - the longer he has a pause. Do not pause unnecessarily, and if you have taken it, wait as long as you can! " can be applied to handshake as well. If you are waiting for the interlocutor to reach out to you first, try to pause until the last moment.

Handshake failure

One of those present refused to shake your hand? Forgets or refuses, leaving his hands in his pockets, crossed or dropped along his body? A missed handshake is a sign of either lack of respect or contempt on the part of the other person. Do not shake hands with the enemy and the boor. Some super modest ones also find it difficult to take a step and shake hands with their colleagues.

If this happens, leave, you don't even have to apologize. Refusal to shake hands - this is pure recognition of antipathy. You will receive tremendous benefits, far greater than what you could possibly claim after the meeting. When someone refuses to shake the outstretched hand, this is a signal that it is impossible to agree.

Adapted from Messinger J. C. Cestes qui vous trahissent - Paris: France, 2013

A handshake between two people can really be much more truthful and informative - even a thousand words.

The habit of shaking hands as a gesture of greeting is present in almost all cultures. But if in ancient times the ritual of greeting among different peoples could be significantly different, now, in the era of globalization of any processes, including cultural ones, we have received a universal and fairly standard way to greet another person - a handshake.

But only at first glance - this simple action is typical and does not contain any personality. In fact, there are a lot of options for a handshake. And depending on the situation, attitude to the interlocutor and the nature of the situation, each of us chooses one way or another to shake hands with another person.

Based on the characteristics of the greeting, one can draw conclusions about how the people who greet each other actually relate to each other, what emotions they experience, and what they intend to take. Many of these hidden signals are unknown not only to outside observers, but also to the participants in the greeting ritual.

And now we will consider all types and characteristics shaking hands, which can be very useful in life - and when you are trying to understand who is in charge among politicians, how your colleagues, boss or relatives treat you.

Hand position during the handshake

First of all, it is worth starting with the position of the hands during the handshake. In a standard, neutral handshake, the hands of the participants in the greeting are in the same position. They are perpendicular to the surface of the earth and the degree of angle in the area of \u200b\u200bthe elbow joint will be approximately the same for everyone.

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Such a handshake indicates a neutral attitude of the greeters to each other. In any case, the participants in the greeting do not experience any vivid emotions. People who shake hands in this way are prone to compromise, rational behavior (unless their handshake is too strong, but more on that later).

The handshake depicted in the figure below has a completely different meaning. The hand of one person is turned down, and the other, on the contrary, looks with the open part up. These are examples of classic opposing behaviors. Participant A demonstrates his arrogant attitude towards participant B, which in turn demonstrates a willingness to obey.

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Participant B on the left, participant A on the right

Position participant A often points to powerful and authoritarian personalities. In this case, we can say that A shows his authority, his higher social status. This does not always correspond to the actual state of affairs. Rather, the desired. After all, people endowed with power and authority do not often demonstrate them - even with such, almost unconscious gestures. So their handshake is often neutral.

This type of handshake is often indicative of a desire to get something from the other person. Moreover, we are talking mainly about intangible acquisition. Participant A may be aimed at obtaining confirmation of subordination, agreement with some opinion or attitude. Position participant B suggests otherwise. Such a handshake speaks of the demonstrated friendliness, peacefulness, willingness to make concessions, willingness to sacrifice one's interests and resources for the sake of the interests and goals of the interlocutor. People who shake hands in this way seek to find the location of their greeting partner and are ready to step on the throat of their pride for this. This type of handshake is referred to as a sneak handshake. Natural amplifiers of such a sycophantic position are an outstretched hand, a bent back, an ingratiating smile, and bent knees.

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Sometimes we have to deal with the fact that we give a hand for a neutral handshake, and our partner demonstrates position of participant A, trying to drive us deeper under the plinth and force us to make a "sneak handshake." What to do in such a situation?

The answer lies in the realm of non-verbal communication. It is necessary to do half a step to your unfriendly interlocutor, without tearing your hands. This will cause the other person to rotate their hand to a normal upright position. Then you can take a step back and only after that stop the handshake. Thus, your interlocutor on an unconscious level will be rebuffed, and this will make him treat you more carefully and respectfully. The effect can be enhanced by a "friendly" pat on the shoulder or by touching the interlocutor's hand with the left hand. Usually, after such contact, the unfriendly interlocutor looks discouraged and does not show any signs of authoritarian behavior.

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Second hand during handshake

When shaking hands, it is not only the hand with which you are greeting that matters, but also the left hand (if you are right-handed), since it expresses the attitude towards the interlocutor much more accurately.

Let's start with a neutral position. The left arm is relaxed and hangs along the body. It makes no sense to interpret anything here. The usual equal attitude. You should not expect anything extraordinary from a person whose left hand is not involved in any way at the time of the handshake.

If the interlocutor begins to connect his left hand to the handshake process, this indicates that the process begins to carry more emotions and more personal attitude. In such cases, sympathies and antipathies, hidden and explicit intentions, a desire to show sympathy, provide support, get rid of someone else's presence or a desire to enter into a closer relationship are manifested.

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In ordinary communication, the distance at which communication takes place matters. The further the interlocutor is from you, the more formal, neutral your relationship is. The closer he comes, the warmer feelings he expects. An exception, of course, is the variant with an obviously extremely negative attitude, when we reduce the distance not out of a desire to hug, but out of a desire to strangle the interlocutor.

In the handshake, the distance value remains the same. Especially when we use our left hand in the ritual.

First, consider touches in the area of \u200b\u200bthe hand. Long distance.

In this case, touching the hand serves as a sign that not the closest relationships have been established between the interlocutors. Most likely, they are in the nature of one-time social transactions. The interlocutor who touches the other person's hand with his free hand is not currently in a close relationship with him, they feel the distance.

Now let's take a closer look at the different types of touch.

1. During the handshake, your interlocutor grabs your wrist with his left hand. This situation is called "grip glove".

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Despite the fact that such a seizure is perceived mostly negatively, it nevertheless has a positive meaning. In this way, the interlocutor expresses his best disposition. Depending on the strength of the handshake, you can also talk about the delight of the meeting, which overwhelms a person. The harder they shake your hand, holding it in the "glove", the greater the joy of communicating with you. Such a handshake is often awarded to pop and movie stars.

Additional markers confirming this mood are the distance and inclination of the interlocutor's body.

A great distance speaks of a cautious, one might even say touching attitude. But if the hand got into such a grip, and the interlocutor approached a very short distance, this means that they are expecting some preferences from you: acceptance, mutual disposition, reciprocal signs of attention.

If, after such a handshake, your interlocutor brings his palms together to his face, as if covering its lower part, we can say that he experiences incredible delight from the meeting.

2. Palm underneath

In this case, the interlocutor's left hand is like a platform on which your hands rest when shaking hands. This situation speaks of an unconscious desire to provide support, help, comfort, help with advice. In fact, this gesture demonstrates a willingness to help. If you are faced with this hand position, no doubt you can ask for help from your interlocutor - he will help.

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3. Palm on top

The palm of your left hand, covering your hand from above at the moment of the handshake, signifies an expression of care and concern.

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This is almost always true when the handshake is between people of different sex or age. At the same time, if you observe such a hand position when shaking hands between two men of approximately the same age and social status, then the situation may have an absolutely opposite meaning.

Also in this case, you need to pay attention to the context of the situation. If a person puts his palm on top immediately during the handshake, then, probably, we are talking about expressing deep positive feelings towards the interlocutor. If this gesture is formed as a response to any words or movements that have arisen already during the conversation (and the hands do not break contact at the same time), then most likely this indicates an attempt to show your ego, a desire to show who is in charge here.

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The handshake is executed in the manner of equal partners, but there are two nuances that indicate Obama's superiority. 1. With his left hand Obama pats Yatsenyuk on the shoulder. This is a gesture of invading the personal space of a communication partner. Yatsenyuk does not make similar attempts, which only enhances the effect of Obama's influence. 2. Yatsenyuk's back is so tense that it seems that he stretched out in front of Obama like a recruit in front of a sergeant. In general, the photo demonstrates Yatsenyuk's tension and his recognition of the higher status of his interlocutor. However, one should not get carried away with interpretations and assert that Yatsenyuk at the same time demonstrates some signs of subordination. There is respect, there is tension in the posture, there is tightness, but there is no subordination in this photo

In addition, such a gesture can also arise as a result of a reaction to the unfriendly behavior of the interlocutor or his intrusion into the intimate area.

Is there a difference between the position of the palm below and above? Certainly. The person with their palm underneath is more likely to provide whatever help and support you ask for. But a person, whose palm is on top, usually already perfectly understands what exactly you will need and will be useful at this moment and in this situation. That is, the difference between the position of the palms reflects the presence or absence of an initiative position. The palm below is a sign of acceptance of your initiative. The palm on top is a sign of readiness to show your own initiative.

This is not always the case. The position of the body can turn this interpretation upside down.

Touching the interlocutor. Close distance

A person can touch the interlocutor with his left hand both in the area of \u200b\u200bthe forearm and in the area of \u200b\u200bthe elbow joint. And in some cases, we place our hand on the shoulder or even hug the back of the person we are greeting.

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This is where the laws of distance come into force. The closer to the body is the place where the hand of your interlocutor is fixed, the more he needs to communicate. Touching the forearm and touching the shoulder have varying degrees of severity of those feelings. The most extreme is, of course, hugs. Well, or patting the interlocutor on the back.

Do not forget that hugs can also be subcultural. Young athletic people who greet each other with strong hugs do not always have too warm feelings for each other. Most likely, this type of greeting is a consequence of their own rituals. They have it so. In any case, to assess the relationship between people by their handshake, one should take into account the context of the situation, the influence of cultural and social characteristics.

The strength and duration of the handshake

In addition to the handshake itself, several other factors are important.

1. The strength of the handshake. The harder they shake your hand, the more emotional energy the interlocutor is ready to pour into communication. At the same time, a sluggish handshake is not yet a sign of dislike. Maybe the person just feels bad. A strong handshake, accordingly, is not always a sign of complacent disposition. The force of compression indicates only the willingness to spend a certain amount of muscle energy while communicating with you. But what the nature of the application of this energy will be depends on completely different factors.

2. The duration of the contact. There is a direct correlation with the time that the interlocutor is willing to spend on communicating with you. The longer he shakes your hand, the longer the conversation he expects. The shorter the handshake, the faster the opponent is ready to "resolve" all issues and do other, more important matters. Often, a short handshake indicates the desire of your interlocutor to quickly move on to resolving the issue for which you met. In this case, brevity will indicate a reluctance to waste time on formal procedures.

Interpretation errors

When you are engaged in the analysis of non-verbal communication, you understand that not a single gesture and not a single sign is one hundred percent reliable. Moreover, sometimes the same gesture in different situations can have an absolutely opposite meaning.

In order to make fewer mistakes in the interpretation of gestures (and it will not be possible to completely get rid of them), you always need to make allowances for the context of the situation, the peculiarities of the culture and social group, the combination of gesture with posture and facial expressions. But the key features of the handshake remain unchanged in most cases.

The main thing:

1. A handshake expresses an attitude towards the interlocutor. And if in words a person can lie, then through a handshake the truth is much more likely to be correctly interpreted.

2. The distance for a handshake only means how much they intend to contact you. A short distance does not necessarily mean a positive disposition.

3. The harder they shake hands, the greater the desire to make contact. And the more emotions overwhelm your interlocutor.

4. The main signs of a formal handshake are: long distance, sluggish handshake, short time of hand contact. This indicates a lack of interest in communication.

5. If the left hand is used in a handshake, this is a sign that the other person is putting more personal relationship with you than in other cases and with other people.

I also propose to watch and try to analyze videos of real and interesting handshakes of President Petro Poroshenko with Catherine Ashton, Vladimir Putin, Nursultan Nazarbayev and Alexander Lukashenko in Minsk - using only the acquired knowledge.

And now - checking the conclusions. So, Ashton expresses support for Poroshenko by performing a “glove” handshake gesture, covering the top of the hand of the Ukrainian president. Poroshenko shows a positive attitude towards Ashton with a smile, but eye contact time with her is very short. Before the handshake with Ashton ends, his gaze already jumps to Putin.

The handshake with Putin is defiantly cold. Too abrupt, theatrical transition from a smile addressed to Ashton to tense walking nodules and a petrified gaze addressed to Putin.

In the next second, the tension of Poroshenko's posture begins to subside and the duty handshake with Nazarbayev is already taking place under the auspices of a slight smile. And Lukashenka gets all the emotional stash from Poroshenko - a smile, and a turn of the body shoulder to shoulder, and a caring "glove" when shaking hands.

Conclusion - Poroshenko's coldness towards Putin is pretended, emphasized, somewhat exaggerated. And this was done in contrast to the smiles of other participants in the meeting specifically to emphasize the negative attitude towards him.