Psychology of communication with girls - the basic rules of conversation. How to get to know a girl correctly? Psychologist's advice

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Almost all men make the same mistakes when dating. Below I will give you 10 of the most common mistakes when dating. By avoiding them, you will enter 1% of the men on the planet.

Mistakes when meeting a girl:

0. To overestimate its importance.

Almost all men immediately put the girl above themselves, thereby underestimating their importance and overestimating her.

This is where all the troubles begin. This is the root of everything. They do this even before the dating stage. That is, it turns out that she is a princess, and you are her slave.

1. Apply to "YOU".

First, you just built a barrier for yourself.

Yes, you will say that this respect and all things are so cultural. It's cultured not to piss under a tree in a park. When it comes to seduction, you need to immediately show who the male is.

By addressing "you", you show respect and gallantry. But it takes you away from the goal. You will not ask in the end: "Allow me to stick it in, madam?"

Say "you" right away. There is nothing to pretend to be a gentleman - you have a different task.

2. Apologize for trying to meet her.

"Girl, I'm sorry, but can I meet you?" - the wretched thing that can be. This phrase is notoriously designed to fail.

A lot of men approach the girl, apologizing. They demonstrate this with all their behavior and conversations. Uncertain, non-arrogant and non-persistent DO NOT GIVE.

And remember: the less you bother, the less the girl bothers, and vice versa.

7. Shackle yourself, your movements and thoughts.

There are men who keep their hands in their pockets, cross them over their chests or shove them somewhere.

For some reason, in ordinary life, a man's hands do not interfere. But as soon as he approaches a woman, he does not know where to put them.

Gesture, touch the girl and help your words with your hands. Do not forget about posture, gait, gaze and firm and confident speech. And also try to remain sober of thought and reason. Control yourself and the situation.

8. Don't believe in yourself.

Well, friend, I don't even want to write anything here. And so everything is clear.

If you don’t believe in yourself, then a woman doesn’t need you like that. Believe in yourself!

9. Give up prematurely.

If a girl says that she has a boyfriend, that she is in a hurry or does not meet, this does not mean that this is true.

In 80% of cases, this is a routine test of your perseverance, assertiveness and other other things. In short, it is a test of your masculinity.

Tyukhti immediately stop talking with the girl, thereby giving the stronger males the opportunity to mate with this female.

Girls want to sleep and mate with the winners, and not with those who, having heard a small obstacle, immediately give up and give up the back.

10. Ask and beg for a phone number or a date.

A man does not ask, much less beg, as most males on this planet do.

The man proposes. You have to be one level higher than her, because you are a man. And that's okay.

Any woman agrees to take a position below and obey, but for this she needs man... Do you understand what I mean ?!

Read the article? But how do you put all this information into practice? How to get step-by-step and comprehensive instructions to achieve a specific girl?

You will learn about this at a paid training "How to turn a woman's NO into a woman's YES".

Get 3 video lessons from this course:

1. Reasons why you have difficulties with a girl
2. Thinking of a successful man;
3. 7 critical mistakes that you make when communicating with a girl.

Communication with girls for guys sometimes acts as a real puzzle, if a man is not confident in himself, he also has a small vocabulary in his vocabulary. Girls love energetic, interesting interlocutors who know how to surprise with their charisma, and it is not at all necessary to be handsome with an athletic physique.

How to start chatting with a girl

Getting started with a girl should include ease and ease. If you are not sure of yourself, are embarrassed, then some object will do to start a conversation that will distract the girl from your person and focus on him. This subject can be a book, a telephone, a dog on a leash, etc. If there are no objects, then you can touch upon eternal topics: music, literature, sports, work, study, philosophical issues. The main thing is to remember that the beginning of communication with a girl should not turn into an interrogation.

Topics for communicating with a girl, as well as frequently asked questions:

• music (What kind of music do you like? What do you dislike? Why?)

• literature (What do you like to read? What do you dislike reading? What character do you like? Why?)

• sports (Are you interested in sports? Who do you root for?)

• leisure (Favorite places to visit in the city?)

• animals (Attitude to pets?)

We develop the topic of work or study, as well as philosophical questions at the request of the young lady.

The experience of guys communicating with girls shows that the conversation should be lively, as well as easy. To do this, we advise you to first tell something about yourself, about your interests, preferences, and then ask about the attitude of the young lady to the same. If you plan to communicate with this particular girl in the future, then try to teach her something new that she still does not know, or go together to where you spend your leisure time. In general, show your imagination, come up with how you can interest the girl, so that she would be interested to know, learn. You can ask both about reality and about fantasies, thoughts, dreams. So you will arouse the interest of the girl, because not every day people are interested in her dreams. If at the time of the conversation there is a pause, an awkward silence, then switch your attention to another topic.

How to continue communication with the girl? So, the beginning of communication with the girl took place and you made a good impression. Don't stop and try to continue the conversation. Make the conversation pleasant, light, and friendly. The problem for many guys is that they don't know how to communicate with girls correctly. Correct communication includes the ability to competently construct sentences, feel confident at the same time, be positive with a moderate sense of humor. If a guy is unable to connect two words together, then you should not count on the continuation of the relationship. Girls don't like boring, insecure guys with low vocabulary. This does not mean that in front of the girl you have to spin like a clown, but you must be interested in order to continue the relationship.

Problems with communication with girls will not override the ability to dress and good looks. The ability to communicate is the main component in the relationship between a man and a woman. Correct communication with a girl includes knowledge of the psychology of communication with women.

Psychology of communication with girls

All men know that there are certain rules of decency in communication, which should not be violated in order to always appear in the best light before women.

Proper communication with a girl includes the following:

- always be positive (if a girl is tired, then the negative from you will not please her, but the positive emotions that you will give her will captivate you, and will serve as a desire for further meetings);

- always remain a man (do not complain about life, friends, boss; always solve problems yourself and do not be afraid of responsibility);

- carry yourself proudly and do not run after a woman (women quickly lose interest from those men who run after them);

- be always confident (communicate with several representatives of the fair sex at the same time - this will replenish your communication experience, and also make your girlfriend feel competition, she will turn on the mood for competition and she herself will want to get you; be self-confident and assertive at a dose - this makes a good impression on women);

- do not cease to amaze (give unusual gifts that the young lady has not yet possessed or has not seen, do not forget about ordinary flowers that will cheer up your chosen one);

- make compliments to your chosen one (always be attentive to your appearance, hairstyle; every girl will appreciate this, but the compliment should come from the heart);

- know how to always listen and hear (do not think about what to talk to a woman - she will tell everything herself, this is their favorite pastime to talk about yourself, just listen, support the conversation with questions so that she sees the interest in your eyes);

- Communicate actively so that you can see the joy on your face from communication, meeting with you should be a holiday; do not drag out the date until the moment when both become bored; the same applies to talking and walking;

- be always interesting, develop versatile, read a lot, a broad outlook will present you as an erudite and interesting interlocutor;

- you must set a clear goal for yourself what you want: build relationships, make friends or just intimacy; remember that long-term communication will turn you into friends, which is more difficult to break later, so it may be better to immediately turn on romance and go towards your goal.

Communication between a guy and a girl begins after the guy assesses her appearance. Any guy asks himself a question: is his girlfriend satisfied with the set of external characteristics. When a guy sees a young lady who is not attractive, he walks by, and also abruptly looks away. If the young lady falls under the external attractiveness, then a connection is tied and a ritual of communication arises. The guy catches the girl with further conversation, flirts with her. It will be a good sign if the girl responds with a smile. Pick an interesting topic for conversation, and if during the conversation you noticed that the girl is not interested: she looks at the phone, around, then she is bored. If the conversation does not go well, then you yourself are to blame. Try to talk about the girl herself, take an interest in her life, plans for the future. Never lie, do not exaggerate, especially if you think in the future to continue the relationship. Pause correctly using gestures. Respond with your eyes, a nod of your head. The look is an important element in communication.

So, the acquaintance took place, and you made the first date, which you secretly fear. As a mandatory start before a further relationship, it is important to make a good impression, and in order for the triumph to take place, take note of the following examples of communicating with a girl on a first date:

- talk about yourself, because the girl does not know anything about you, remember your achievements or what you do best in life, but so that it does not look like you are bragging about it. In no case should you talk about troubles, as well as failures, you should give the impression of a successful person walking towards your goals;

- talk about her, girls like it when they are interested in their life; you can remember mutual acquaintances, talk about travel, animals and plans;

- learn about each other in parallel, giving each other the opportunity to speak out;

- talk about childhood and everything related to childhood experiences - girls love such memories.

Phrases for communicating with a girl should be simple, naturally pronounced. Don't ask many questions in a row. Do not discuss other women with the girl. Do not fuss, this will show that you are nervous and ruin everything. Make eye contact while listening when the girl speaks.

Chatting with a girl on the Internet

Information technologies have made it possible for a person to easily meet, communicate, translate virtual acquaintances into reality.

How to start chatting with a girl on the Internet? Currently, women are spoiled by attention on the Internet: they send cute emoticons, banal phrases for dating, so you have to try to captivate your person. Especially if you want to translate virtual communication into real one. To start communication, it is important to find common ground that unites you. Do not write formulaic phrases: “Hello! What are you doing?" Try to be original, because the first impression is the brightest. It is important for yourself to understand what the purpose of dating is. If you do not know what to write, study the girl's photo, statuses that will tell a lot about the inner world and interests of the young lady. Do not send free gifts, winks - these things annoy girls and women. Be confident in yourself, forget about your fear of being rejected or misunderstood. If one girl did not answer, write to others, the main thing is to continue trying to start communication. They will definitely answer.

So, you started a correspondence, but you have a desire to translate your acquaintance into real life. The main thing is not to delay this, because according to statistics, if virtual communication lasted up to two months, then it is unlikely to go into real life, and often the virtual presentation does not coincide with the real one, which is very frustrating for both parties and communication stops.

Good virtual communication does not mean that it can continue in real life. The first real meeting with virtual sympathy is a crucial moment that needs preparation. However, even if you set yourself up for a date, you need to remember that in real life it is much more difficult to please, so you have to adhere to certain rules.

The main impression about a person develops quite quickly, within 20 minutes of a conversation, and the continuation of your relationship depends on it. Therefore, try to sincerely show your emotions, look the other person in the eyes, and behave confidently. The topic of conversation can be thought out in advance, for example, what you have learned from virtual communication can be developed deeper in the conversation. The main thing is to be relaxed, cheerful, not to touch upon sad topics. It is recommended not to touch upon themes of past love, illness, failure, problems at work. Call her more often by name - this will help establish a subconscious connection between you. Don't neglect this.

Be confident and honest on the first date - this will serve as the key to success and will have many continuation. Remember that every man is worthy of the women he wants, the main thing is to know how to do it right! Let these words give confidence in achieving your goal. All these tips need to be taken in line with your own communication style and choose what is right for you.

Young guys often find it difficult to approach a girl, to interest her. With low self-esteem and a small vocabulary, it will probably turn out a little, because girls prefer people who are interesting and active, with whom there is something to talk about, who can interest not only their irresistible sports appearance. The question of how to communicate with girls is very relevant for many young men.

What to do to start a relationship with a girl

How to combine the desire to meet a girl with your embarrassment in front of her? You should not be shady and insecure, that's the most important thing. If, nevertheless, embarrassment is present, then any interesting reason will do that would help distract the girl's attention from her own person. You can concentrate her attention on the book, for example, on the phone, on other things. If there is no way to focus on any of the subjects, age-old themes are fine: literature, sports, music, study or work.

However, we must not forget that the conversation is not an interrogation at all, it should be as easy as possible.

Here is a small list of questions that can be raised in one way or another:

• Do you like music? What are the styles? From what?
• What kind of literature do you prefer? Is there a favorite hero?
• Do you watch sports events? Do you like the team views? Are you a cheerleader?
• Are there any favorite places? Do you often go there?
• How do you feel about animals? Cats or dogs, or maybe fish?

To start a relationship with a girl, you should try to be interesting to her and therefore, it would be nice to grope for questions that may relate to her hobbies. The conversation should be protracted, and therefore be imaginative and relaxed. Unbeknownst to the girl, you can switch to her dreams. It will be funny for her to tell, though not about the secret ones, but about some of them. After all, not every day and not every person she meets can be interested in them, dreams. You can avoid awkward pauses by moving from one topic to another.

To continue a relationship with a girl, you need not only to feel confident, but also to demonstrate this confidence, but not at all bravado or clowning, but the ability to maintain a keen interest in yourself. A good sense of humor, supported by competent speech and interesting conversations on various topics, will not hurt, because the lack of these skills will not be covered by cool clothes or prestigious devices that a young man may have.

Psychology of communication with a girl

Men are aware of the fact that there are certain rules regarding relationships with the opposite sex, which it is very desirable to follow, these are:

• positive behavior, because normal people are exclusively attracted by positive emotions;
• you should not complain about your problems with work, friends, management;
• you should not run after a girl, because women quickly grow cold towards the one who has already been conquered by them;
• do not limit yourself to communication with only one darling, because many contacts can teach much more, and healthy competition will not hurt, it will be interesting for a girl to compete for the location of someone who is confident in herself, but not to self-confidence, assertive, but not to indecent ;
• you should not avoid presenting, albeit small, but gifts, flowers;
• compliments also do not hurt, especially if they do not reach the level of vulgar flattery;
• it is important not only to speak for yourself, but also to be able to listen, and, most importantly, to hear. You should never give up questions that could make it possible for the interlocutor to speak;
• you should communicate actively, sincerely showing your joy from the meetings, you should not delay the date so much that sadness and boredom appear;
• all-round development with broadening of horizons, reading books and the ability to share them in the most unexpected form, will always do a good job;
• you need to understand your goals from communicating with a girl: friendship or exclusively intimacy. Long-term relationships are more likely to turn a boy and a girl into friends.

What does a guy pay attention to before starting to communicate with a girl? Naturally, the young man did not attract the young man to her appearance and if her appearance did not attract, then he would simply pass by, not even deigning to look at the girl. If, on the contrary, the appearance of the young lady turned out to be attractive, the guy can talk to her, showing a slight flirtation and his interest.

Detachment and lack of interest in the conversation will hardly continue, but the mutual interest shown may well turn into a closer relationship. You should not push too hard, but you can ask about the girl's life, her interests, immediate plans.

A sure sign to spoil a possible relationship, especially if there are prospects for the future, is to start with deception, even if it is slight, with exaggeration. The psychology of communication with a girl implies that when talking with her, accents will be correctly placed, and not only speech, but also non-verbal ones, because gestures, postures, facial expressions, especially a look, play a significant role in communication.

The acquaintance that took place requires continuation, and this is the first date. It's good to remember some of its rules:

You do not need to build abstruse phrases, it is best to build your speech from simple, naturally spoken sentences. What you should not do is discuss any other women, because this can negatively affect mutual understanding.

Dating a girl on the Internet

Modernity presents many additional opportunities, one of them is virtual acquaintance with a girl on the Internet with the potential to transfer it into reality.

To get to know each other, you need to make some effort, just like in real life. After all, who might be interested in platitudes like: “How are you? What are you doing?" Before contacting, it's a good idea to look at the statuses of a future Internet passion, because they can tell a lot about her, making it easier to find points of mutual contact.

You should not rush to send any free "gifts" and winks, most often they only annoy. It is necessary to set clear goals for virtual dating, whether there are plans to transfer it to the real world. In the case when one of the girls who attracted the attention of the girl did not answer, do not despair, because the world is large and multifaceted, there will definitely be one in it that will respond and be interesting.

If the correspondence turns out to be interesting and there is a desire to continue in real life, then it is inappropriate to delay this moment for a long time. Most often, a correspondence that has crossed the two-month line rarely has a continuation in real life also due to the fact that over such a long period a certain perception of a person is most often formed, which may completely differ from reality and deeply disappoint when meeting.

That is, it is not at all necessary that great virtual communication can develop into something more serious. Real life is still much more complex and multifaceted than life on the Internet.

It is a common truth that you cannot trust anyone, especially on the Internet, but people stubbornly neglect this. For which they suffer ...
I will tell one story that is funny, sad, and instructive at the same time.
Somehow, for the sake of interest, I registered a female profile on the well-known mamba dating site ...

To begin with, what these sites are, who and how they behave there - a brief description:
1. This is a landfill for human garbage, a rental area, a place for advertising, a place to drain negativity and just a way to kill time or have fun.
2. This is a world of unrealizable fantasies that people do not hesitate to demonstrate, because in real life it is extremely difficult to do this, and the virtual world with its anonymity does not contain moral restrictions.
3. This is the place in which the illusion rules, but in fact the only important thing is that everyone invents for himself and this is the main drug.

To look at the male part of the dating site, I created a girl's profile, put there a beautiful photo, but with a trick. An observant person could reveal me simply by noticing that behind the girl in the back of the room there is a mirror with postcards stuck into the rim. And although the background is blurred, you can see that they are all foreign. I will say right away - not one of them paid attention to this, not once. Once someone doubted the photo, suggesting that this is one of the participants of Doma2, I checked, yes it is very similar, but not she ... In addition to the photo, I filled out a questionnaire with a rather sharp bias and challenge. I thought that I would scare away the most useless part of those who want to meet, naive, the most useless part, she is also the dumbest. He writes messages without reading the questionnaire, looking only at the photo.

The questionnaire was created and now men began to write to me, the flow of messages grew rapidly and I tried to answer everyone positively and adequately at first, not paying attention to the details of their profiles. What kind of profiles? On the second day at nine o'clock in the evening, having opened the site, I see 35 unanswered messages, I start to reply, new ones roll, there are correspondences, I try to keep in mind everyone with whom I am writing and the main thread of the dialogue, closer to 11 am I refresh the page - 42 unanswered messages! I understand that the task is not easy and I spend all my evenings on it throughout the week, during which I begin to notice a change in my inner attitude to some points:

1 "Hello, how are you doing" is more and more ignored by me and hangs tightly in unanswered
2 The word "sex" more and more from pleasant becomes sickening, causing rejection not only as a set of letters, but also as an action itself.
3 The reason for this is a herd of deer - lovers of "Cooney" and sending out photos of their erect members
4 More and more men from prisons stand out from the stream
5 Interesting interlocutors are becoming less and less.

At first I was surprised at the stupidity of the "Cooney Maniacs". It would seem that it is worth pretending to be an ordinary man, to get to know a girl virtually, to chat a little, to make it clear that you are not an idiot, to meet, get to know each other, go through all the usual moments, and when in the end it comes to sex, then in the process of it, do what I want so badly - Cooney! A normal girl would refuse? But they can't do that, and later I realized that they didn't want to! They write-offer right away! Therefore, they are all sent to hell ... The whole joke seems to be not so much in the process, but in spontaneity and urgency. they do not need to get acquainted, it seems that it is precisely the element of uncertainty that captures. Extremals pancake)))

While comprehending this, I came across the first paradox that if I came to the site being an adequate girl for sex, then the better I would choose a partner for myself, the less chances I would have, and given the manners of many, the desire itself would disappear looking at the squalor of most writers, both moral and physical, while positioning themselves as alpha males. My wife knew about my fun and every day she was interested in how things were going, at first she just grinned, but at the end of the second week she admitted that some female secrets were revealed to me based on some conclusions:

1 There are very few normal men, not only on acquaintances, but also in life, especially free ones.
2 A normal man will not be free, he will create everything himself, a family and so on. He finds himself a woman and organizes everything. And if suddenly something goes wrong and he is left alone, he will start over. catching the moment when a normal man is single the more difficult the older his age. Singles over 30 years, this is partly a diagnosis, whatever they call it. They either didn't give up to anyone, or they don't need anyone for good - they live for themselves.
3 Scorching what stupidity! This is what the girl thinks about most of the people who write to her (and not the fiery man - as they themselves think). You can even make up a certain proportion about the writing of 100%
- with 10% -15% you can generally correspond - the rest - nothing, or PPC.
- with 5% -7% you can correspond even for a long time
- with 3% -5% you can correspond not only for a long time, but also interesting
- with 1% -3% you can go to meet in real life
Of course, I understand that if you are not a fool yourself, then the requirements are quite high, but since you are still reading this post, it means you have enough intelligence to understand? This means that for you this will be a close result. This is how the experiment looked after two weeks and more than 200 questionnaires in ignore. What were the feelings?

1 That these correspondence devastate the soul, like a lot of communication, but little use
2 That, given the proportions indicated above, the situation is more and more sad
3 That the word "sex" really makes you sick and you don't want anything
4 That out of several of the best candidates I cannot choose one because given the fact that we communicate virtually, and not live, for me they are not much different from each other! My attitude towards them is the same, you can say. That's what correspondence does - it kills more than it creates.
5 And the main idea, if I treat several of the most interesting candidates in advance relatively the same, if they are partly the same for me, then can I choose someone with whom it is FAVORABLE to meet? That is, with someone who has a better financial situation? Someone who will make me more comfortable and so on?

So, after some time (thorns to the stars) I came to the understanding that the mass of offers kill demand, that men themselves corrupt girls. Themselves write to a bunch of girls the same thing at the same time, convincing each that she is the one ...

Having told my wife about these and other discoveries, I learned that this is how it is and even worse ...
Having been in the virtual "skin" of a girl - a beauty not deprived of intelligence, I understood what causes irritation in men in girls, what infuriates, and what makes them feel sick. You can, of course, about this in more detail, but I'd better tell you the further history of that questionnaire ...

I had a friend not only from the site, but also from life. A beautiful, intelligent young woman with a child after an unsuccessful first marriage. She really wanted to find a husband, took beautiful photos and even was the TOP-1 of the region on the mamba, but somehow it didn't work out.
My female profile was no longer interesting to me, because I squeezed everything I wanted out of it, so I offered this friend my help in finding a husband, justifying this by the fact that I have a lot of fans on the site and they are looking forward to me every evening, what among them there are some really interesting specimens. She agreed, I gave her the data to access the questionnaire, and she and I began to correspond in turn with unsuspecting victims. For another two weeks I had so much fun, but even this got tired of it, but on the contrary to her, a high start with hundreds of eliminated "empty" was interesting and profitable for her, so I presented her with this questionnaire on the condition that she later tell me how the matter will end.
... a week later she called and asked what to do - after all, in the questionnaire in the photo, not she herself, but she had a fan who she really liked by correspondence, she had to convince her that it was not in vain that she was a TOP mamba and a fan of photo replacement will survive, especially if he values \u200b\u200bher not only for the photo. Changed, calls - says everything perfectly! Okay, I think we'll see ...

A month later, the call - sobs, no, beluga roars almost into a cry! What happened I ask?
Can you imagine? - says that my man, single, a doctor from a regional city, we have so much in common, we communicated so well and not only on the website, but on the phone for the last week, but we already had love! We agreed to meet on Friday evening, I was getting ready from Monday - I went to a manicure, pedicure, hairdresser, bought a new dress, and I even got an intimate haircut! All week I was at home making a marafet, I even pasted the wallpaper in the hallway, bought some tasty treats, cooked it for him, found the child where to send with an overnight stay !!! We have been talking on the phone since Friday morning that he will go to me after work (to another city - author's note), and after five hours his phone is not available! Unavailable for a week! His profile has been removed from the site! I don't know what to think, maybe he died? I feel so bad! What do you think?

Here's what to answer her? Serve you right, I said that dating sites are a garbage dump, and those who are looking for happiness there are unfortunate homeless people. Treat it like a bulletin board - read it, call it, forget it. Or as a game, but not seriously!
So cry now, you will be smarter ...
She deleted the profile, and after a while she found a man somewhere for herself, got married, gave birth to a child and they live on ...

What to do to try to avoid this I will write another time, otherwise it turns out a lot)))