Spanish shame origin. Spanish shame - what is it? Where did the expression come from? Bridget and me

Spanish shame: what kind of feeling overcomes us?

Spanish shame refers to the feeling of embarrassment that a person feels for the actions of another, for example, when main character movie does something stupid and you blush for it. This feeling is quite painful, it is embarrassing to watch someone do something shameful. Some people cannot even watch reality shows or be in public places because of this. This feeling originates and is fueled by the presence in society of a generally accepted moral code and set of rules. Causes of discomfort for the actions of others may be your internal taboo on certain behaviors or the desire to take responsibility for someone.
On Spanish it sounds like "vergüenza ajena", which in translation means "shame for another." The very name of the concept contains the answer, where does this feeling come from? Spanish shame was invented in Spain, whose inhabitants have always been distinguished by over-emotionality. According to some philologists and linguists, this expression comes from watching Spanish-language TV shows, where scenes abound when someone falls awkwardly, drinks some rubbish, admits terrible absurdity in his actions, and the hero, in response to this, speaks with a mask of theatrical compassion on the face: "Oh, no!". At these moments, the audience immediately becomes terribly ashamed of this poor idiot.
With the light hand of the Spaniards, the expression went for a walk around the world, because it turned out that being ashamed of others happens not only in Spain, but also in other countries. This emotion is worldwide, especially among conscientious people and perfectionists. A little later, the feeling of shame, noticed in Spain, received its English name "Spanish shame", based on the place of its occurrence. Although initially in English language it was the Spanish term that was used, it is even mentioned in Wikipedia in the section "Terms that are difficult or impossible to translate." Only over time, instead of the original expression in Spanish, they began to use the English equivalent. Now in English, both options are acceptable.
Well, in the Russian language the concept came from English by literal translation. This is how the expression "Spanish shame" appeared. When? - No one knows, but after searching the Internet for materials containing this concept, nothing was found until 2000, and for the period from 2000 to 2010, no more than 10 references are found. Therefore, we can conclude that the concept of "Spanish shame" in the Russian language has been used approximately since 2010.
However, there is another version of the appearance of the term in Russian, where Spain no longer plays any role. According to this version, the expression "Spanish shame" came from Hebrew, where "ispa" is translated as aspen. In the popular biblical version, Judas, who betrayed Jesus, hanged himself from an aspen tree. The tree was very ashamed of the choice of Judas, although it was not to blame for this. That is, within the framework of this interpretation, there is just shame for the act of another person. According to popular belief, the tree, the aspen, was punished, because ancient myths connect the trembling of its branches with God's curse imposed for making a cross from it for the crucifixion of Christ.
Thus, it is necessary to understand that Spanish shame is not a scientific formulation of a psychological state, but an established judgment, namely a meme.

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Do you know the feeling of embarrassment and inconvenience for another person? Has it ever happened that you were ready to fall through the ground for the behavior of a loved one? How to describe this emotion and what is it called? Why does it happen and how to deal with it. The most neglected forms, reaching the point of absurdity, from which "the hair on the head moves."

This unusual and indescribable, at first glance, feeling is called Spanish shame. Surprisingly, the name has not yet taken root in our language. It is rarely used in colloquial speech.

Spanish shame is an unusual feeling of shame and embarrassment for the behavior, actions or actions of another person. Most often, it spreads towards close and dear people: husband and children. In more advanced forms, emotion is born towards unknown, passers-by people.

Why is it called "Spanish shame" and what preceded it

The name speaks for itself - indicates the country of origin of this colorful emotion. Of course, “Spanish shame” did not come to us directly from a native speaker. Everything happened a little more complicated.

Etymologists suggest that in the course of a natural language exchange, Spain conveyed such a funny popular expression to the USA. For those, in turn, the original Spanish “verguenza ajena” did not take root. It's too hard to pronounce. So, the Americans transformed the vocabulary to simple "Spanish shame". After a literal translation - it appeared with us.

Why there is a feeling of embarrassment for another person

This emotion, familiar to many people, not very pleasant, can “emerge” from childhood or be acquired.

I'm the problem, I'm the problem

According to psychologists, most often the root of the problem lies in their own psychological vulnerability. As such, insecurity, to some extent, dissatisfaction with oneself.

During the appearance of Spanish shame - uncertainty in one's words and deeds, as it were, is transferred to a loved one. It becomes ashamed of his behavior, although it is quite possible that the partner does not do anything prejudicial. As a result, quarrels, even more self-digging and “scrolling” of the situation where this unpleasant emotion arose.

Will of chance

Alternatively, Spanish shame can also occur in accomplished individuals. This emotion can be the result of one wrong choice. This often manifests itself in love relationships. He is drawn to his partner, but “everything inside” repels him. There are awkwardness and Spanish shame for his behavior, and any.

Spanish shame is most often experienced by girls who are perfectionists and pedants. They are the ones who care the most about what they say and how they look from the outside. Pay more attention to the actions of a partner / loved one.

It is possible to determine the root cause of the occurrence of Spanish shame by asking yourself a few questions.

Have you ever felt ashamed of your girlfriend at a disco? Or maybe, in your youth, you could not survive the embarrassment for the jokes of your young man? Do you sometimes feel ashamed of your choice or decision?

Regardless of the answer - Spanish shame can be overcome, and forever. Read below!

The neglected forms of Spanish shame are a catastrophic absurdity

The most painful, at the same time, absurd form of Spanish shame is embarrassment for a film actor, show business star or just a media person.

“I just couldn't look at it anymore. He acted like a complete fool who was in the studio for the first time. Why does he joke so stupidly, it's not funny at all. I am so ashamed of his behavior that I want to apologize to the entire audience.”

An excerpt from a popular online diary of a British society lady prompted psychologists to think. After lengthy research, a direct correlation was found between the "stupidity" of a variety show host and its ratings. Of course, the more ridiculous and ridiculous the presenter tried to seem, the more often people changed the channel. They were just embarrassed for his actions.

After that, global opinion polls were conducted, in which it was found that just over 20% of respondents feel Spanish shame for others. Only, they are afraid to admit it even to themselves. Therefore, on the "machine" they filter out "shameful" people from themselves.

How to deal with Spanish shame

Without a doubt, we can safely assume that this emotion is not the most rosy and positive for a person. Perhaps those who experienced Spanish shame must have wondered: “how to get rid of this”?

Here are some tips that can minimize or completely remove this awkward feeling for the other person.

• Work on your self-esteem

As described earlier, low self-esteem directly affects the emergence and decay of Spanish shame. The more vulnerable you feel, the more colorful the experience. Try to see something positive and bright in yourself. Use the tips from the article on how to increase self-esteem.

• Eliminate Factor

Again, if the problem of the occurrence of Spanish shame is acquired, exclude from your life the irritant, because of which this emotion is born. No matter how hard it was.

• Awareness

During the experience and shame, try to ask yourself the question: what changes from the fact that I worry about the behavior of another person? How does my psychological suffering help him? Clear answers to this question will help to win over the situation. Systematic "returning oneself into a rut" - over time, will completely forget about this problem.

Are you experiencing something similar? How often does Spanish shame enter your life? Who do you most often experience these feelings? Share your opinion in the comments!

"Spanish shame is a feeling of embarrassment or shame for others, for example, when the hero of the film does something stupid, but you are ashamed"

Today is only Wednesday, and there is already a whole bag of sensational news related to Russia.

Ukraine brought us the first reason for pride. According to the data voiced by Babchenko and Mosiychuk, Russia, all its free time from other "abominations", is engaged in organizing assassination attempts, sabotage and other terrible things from the point of view of humanism on the territory of the square.

So that you understand: “the so-called “Ukrainian Center” has been created in Russia, which includes FSB officers who were engaged in the Ukrainian direction, the Main intelligence agency Russian Federation, other security officials,” Mosiychuk said.

According to the people's deputy, the "Ukrainian Center" created by the special services of the Russian Federation is engaged in "sabotage activities, political provocations, information warfare, cyber warfare."

Probably, it is precisely because of the actions of these insidious FSB officers that there is still no heating and hot water in the capital of Ukraine, the population's debt to pay for communal services amounted to 38.4 billion hryvnias, cashiers at railway stations and supermarkets demonstrate domestic separatism, Hungary in Transcarpathia distributes his passports, and even in the results of football matches, the “Russian trace” is clearly visible.

However, Russians do not limit themselves to Ukraine alone.

For example, Macedonian voters in a referendum refused to support changing the name of their country. It would seem that this referendum is of purely local interest. But many saw its outcome as a major victory for Vladimir Putin, a defeat for the EU and NATO, and yet another troubling example of Russia's ability and willingness to influence Western democratic processes.

Prior to the referendum, Western officials warned that Moscow would try to reduce turnout in order to invalidate the vote.

How Moscow managed to convince the Macedonians not to go to the polls is bashfully silent. However, if Putin was able to choose the president of America, then the plebiscite in Macedonia, which is about the size of the Moscow region, is nothing more than a warm-up for him. Before the November elections to the US Congress and the presidential elections in Ukraine.

The most cynical in its cunning was the "anti-Jedi conspiracy" exposed this week. Restless Russian trolls encroached on the sacred. Namely, they unfairly slandered the last episode of the Star Wars saga. And thus not only inflicted heavy psychological trauma film crew and Jedi fans, but defiled an icon of American cinema. Most likely - to trivialize the great American culture, humiliate and demoralize Hollywood, and provoke a revolution in America. While cultural. But this is only the beginning.

As for the evidence of such a monstrous act of cinematic vandalism, then, the American scientist (!) Morten Bay from the University of South Carolina analyzed the angry messages on Twitter addressed to the director of the eighth episode of the movie saga " star Wars” to Rian Johnson and sent to him within the first seven months after the premiere of the film, and found out that at least 16 (!) Accounts allegedly (!) belonged to Russians. So, one of them sent Johnson 13 angry "tweets" over the course of three weeks, claiming that he "destroyed Star Wars." Bay was able to track down the Russian bots using the methods described elsewhere. scientific papers(!) samples of the influence of Moscow social media (!) during election campaign in the US, as well as British Brexit.

Agree, it's great! At this rate, we will discredit both American Pie and the Police Academy. For the sole purpose of causing "dissent and dysfunction in American society."

Well, now the cherry on the cake. The notorious "Skripal case", which every day more and more resembles "Santa Barbara".

It would be strange if the trace of tourists from Salisbury was not found in Ukraine. And here it is - the exposure of the week!

To say it's funny is an understatement. But since virtually all of Ukraine from the first days accepts Active participation in the quest "Pull the owl on the globe or Find / identify Petrov / Boshirov / Chepiga", then this is not surprising. Moreover, I won’t be surprised if in the near future Ukraine declares that it was two from Salisbury (one of whom is a Hero of Russia and, according to the latest data, also Putin’s personal bodyguard) were snipers on the Maidan, personally guarded Yanukovych and took Crimea. And, at the same time.

By the way, since we are talking about the most exciting investigation of the year, which is acquiring more and more new details, I also ventured to conduct an experiment)

But this is so, a side note for those who are haunted by the laurels of the face recognition system. Everyone sees what they want to see. And if you are convinced that Chepiga and Boshirov are the same person, then no arguments will force you to change your mind.

In general, as you can see - heap goes. And such mass hysterics on different flanks of the information front are always provoked with one goal. Divert attention. From what exactly - one can only guess. Maybe from the transfer of the S-300 to Syria. Maybe from the visit of the Serbian president to Moscow and his agreements with Putin, which have remained a secret to the press and the public. Or maybe someone is just offended that, despite all the time, effort and money spent, it turned out that the ungrateful and stupid world loves Russia and Putin more than America.

And this is a very bad trend) This is not the Star Wars rating for you anymore.

This is a serious claim for dissent and dysfunction. But not in American society. And all over the world...

The feeling of shame most often arises in the face of the public, which condemns for what they have done or said. This feeling originates and is fueled by the presence in society of a generally accepted moral code and set of rules. But are we always ashamed only of ourselves?

Kind of shame

Usually you have to blush for your behavior. But an interesting fact is that the feeling of shame comes also for what you did not do. For example, for the bad behavior of your child or when a stranger kisses a girl in public transport, and you are ashamed of them. The reasons for this discomfort may be your internal taboo for such manners or the desire to take responsibility for someone.

The first signal that will inform about this is embarrassment. He says that the ongoing event goes beyond convention. And the feeling of embarrassment for a stranger is called Spanish shame. We will talk about it further.

The history of the expression

In Russian, the expression "Spanish shame" appeared after 2000, it came to us from English, where it sounds like spanish shame. And the progenitor of phraseology was the Spanish term verguenza ajena, which, just, had the meaning of "shame for another." True, there is another interpretation of the origin of the term, in which Spain is out of work, since it supposedly came to us from Hebrew, where "ispa" is translated as "aspen".

In the popular apocryphal version, Judas, who betrayed Christ, hanged himself from an aspen. The tree was ashamed of the choice, although it is not guilty of this. But, according to popular belief, the tree is punished, because ancient myths connect the trembling of its branches with God's curse imposed for making a cross from it for the crucifixion of Christ.

Thus, one must understand that "Spanish shame" is not a scientific formulation of a psychological state, but an established judgment, namely a meme.

semantic meaning

We have dealt with the history of the origin of phraseological units. Now we will decipher the semantic load of the expression. "Spanish shame" means that one feels embarrassed for the wrong actions of other persons. Psychologists assure that a feeling of shame for others arises when a person recognizes himself as part of a people doing unseemly acts.

At the same time, the criteria for belonging can be varied: gender, age, position, external similarity. But if this general touches you, you will feel uncomfortable. So the different attitude to one event of different people becomes obvious. For example, at a banquet, an unknown person got drunk and dances on the table - you may be embarrassed or funny. If it was your girlfriend, then you will surely experience a feeling of shame.

The manifestation of tact

The expression "Spanish shame" is due to the appearance of a painful emotion that arose due to the realization of the absurdity of the behavior of fellow citizens, which offends the concepts of decency and modesty. Psychologist Elliot Aronson wrote in his book that we often compare ourselves with the people around us, and this, in turn, increases our self-esteem. Looking at a person doing something stupid, we are satisfied with the humiliation of the poor fellow, mentally saying that we would never find ourselves in the role of a loser.

I don't want to believe that we have fun watching others suffer, humiliate themselves. Meanwhile, television ratings and the number of video views on the Internet prove this hypothesis. If in life the mistake of others does not always bring pleasure to its witnesses, then when in the movie an actor falls face down into a cake, this causes genuine laughter from many viewers. During the survey, it was revealed that the laughing subject experiences internal embarrassment, but it is accompanied by consolation that someone is even worse off than him.

What conclusions can be drawn?

Not only but also a society of self-sufficient and harmonious persons. It is worth fearing individuals with an atrophied sense of conscience. Decency must be regulated in the process of socialization and upbringing of the child in order to avoid negative consequences. Decency is a positive symptom of the essence, if it is expressed in moderation. Embarrassment serves as a marker that something is wrong. We avert our eyes in order to “save face” of someone who is in a difficult situation - this is empathy for emotional sympathy, an excellent spiritual impulse that makes us better. So, it should be understood that Spanish shame is a positive trait in characterizing a person.

Can you watch Bridget Jones's Diary? Me not. The "fun" situations that the main character finds herself in don't seem like that at all to me. No, they make me feel ashamed and want to press stop immediately. And I know I'm not the only one. Moreover, what we feel with fellow sufferers even has a name - Spanish shame.

What is it about Spain?

Runet claims that the expression "Spanish shame" came into Russian as a translation from English phrases Spanish shame, which, in turn, is a translation of the Spanish vergüenza ajena, "shame for another." In itself, this feeling is not new, and geographical affiliation does not affect the ability to experience it. However, the Spaniards were the first to come up with a separate name for this state.

However, what is more interesting is not where the concept came from, but what makes you blush painfully, watching the misses strangers. And, by the way, “blushing for others” is by no means a figurative expression.

Doctor, what's wrong with me?

“Shame comes to life not only in the psyche, but also in the body,” explains psychologist Arina Lipkina. - Once upon a time, we ourselves could find ourselves in an unpleasant situation, and now this "revival" makes us hide from ourselves: stop watching the movie, turn away, leave the room, go to the other side of the street. Not to be, not to be present, not to see.

We have projected what is happening on ourselves and now we are trying to suppress these memories. Ultimately, we are ashamed of our own shame, which each of us has experienced.”

We automatically consider a person who finds himself in an awkward situation guilty of violating the rules, public or private.

Why do we generally feel shame and embarrassment for the actions of another? Psychologist Nadezhda Pylaeva believes that this happens if we:

1. We forbid a lot to ourselves- in particular, to look awkward or stupid. The power of the internal prohibition is so great that we avoid even looking at what is happening. It is also a sign that we do not accept ourselves - such as we are, with all the shortcomings.

We acquire these internal prohibitions and attitudes throughout our lives. Yes, and shame itself is not an innate emotion: we “learn” to be ashamed at the age of 3 to 7 years, thus reacting to censure from others. Gradually out of reaction to specific external events shame can become a habitual inner state.

2. Tend to take responsibility for the actions of others: we feel our involvement and believe that we can somehow influence the situation. We automatically consider a person who finds himself in an awkward situation “guilty” of violating the rules, public or unspoken.

“Shame, guilt and embarrassment belong to the triad of sociomoral emotions,” explains psychotherapist Alena Prikhidko. “They arise when our moral standards are affected and moral rules are violated.”

Expressing emotions out loud, we kind of say to others: “I would never do that, I’m not like them”

3. Feel the fear of rejection. Even in ancient times, expulsion from the tribe was the most terrible punishment, and we still experience horror at the thought that society can reject another (and perhaps ourselves) for ridiculous or inappropriate actions.

4. We identify ourselves with another, consider ourselves part of the same group as the person doing the "wrong" things. And it's already us who are not good enough, and not this strange, awkward, awkward hero on the screen (or a stranger met in real life).

“Shame and pride for another arise not only when this person belongs to the same small group as we do: a family, a school class, a department at work,” explains Alena Prikhidko, “but also when we both belong to the same large social a group whose membership is meaningful to us. For example, one psychologist may experience shame for another psychologist he does not know, with whom he is united by belonging to a professional community.

Expressing emotions out loud, we seem to say to others: “I would never do this, I am not like them.”

Close to heart

Becoming witnesses to the public mistakes of others, we all experience different degrees of discomfort. It turns out that the reason for this is a different level of empathy: the higher it is, the more likely we are to blush for others, even strangers.

“This is proved by the results of a study conducted by employees of the University of Lübeck (Germany), - explains Nadezhda Pylaeva. - It turns out that the feeling of shame for others and empathy are closely related. Our tendency to empathize with others is the reason why we want to protect a person who finds himself in an awkward situation from shame.

Watching the “shame” of the participants, some experience excruciating embarrassment, others scoff

This is most evident when watching comedy and reality shows: watching the “shame” of the participants, some experience excruciating awkwardness, others scoff (other people's humiliations serve as fuel for their self-esteem).

Bridget and me

For the purposes of the experiment, I force myself to revise Bridget Jones's Diary - a fragment where the heroine comes to a party dressed as a Playboy Bunny. Everything converges: both identification (we are both women of about the same age, social status and even the same profession), and the fear of being ridiculed and rejected (one of the most common nightmares: I find myself naked in a public place), and quite high level empathy.

As a result - a suffocating wave of shame and blazing cheeks. And it seems that I experience this situation even harder than the heroine: unlike me, Bridget knows how to laugh at her shortcomings and ultimately accept herself for who she is. So I have a lot to learn from her, but that's another story.