Fear that the effort will not pay off. What is atychiphobia and how to overcome the fear of failure? Ways to overcome fear

Hello dear readers. Today we will talk about how to overcome the fear of failure. You will find out what are the reasons for the development of this phobia. Find out how it might manifest. You will know how to deal with it.

General information

Atychiphobia is the fear of failure. This phobia is one of the most common today. Such fear refers to social fears. As a rule, it originates in childhood. It is not always possible to get approval from the outside. Sometimes you have to hear the words of criticism.

If a person is self-confident, sufficiently developed, then he can easily cope with any failure and criticism addressed to him. Other people, having heard unflattering words in their direction, are even more upset, their fear is aggravated. As a result, we have the following: having failed in a certain business, a person does not struggle with his fear, but simply no longer undertakes to complete this business. It can get to the point that even the simple preparation of scrambled eggs will be the most difficult test, because there will be a fear that it can burn. Over time, there will be a desire to isolate oneself from society, and the fear of failure will become pathological.

It is necessary to know that atychiphobia can manifest itself in various forms.

1. Self-sabotage. A person in the subconscious performs such actions that do not bring a successful solution to the task.
2. Self-isolation. There is a clear conviction that failure can be avoided by doing nothing.
3. Immobilization, complete inactivity. Personality does not develop, does not strive.
4. . The need to be the best, which can develop into a mania. A person limits himself only to those things in which he is successful.
5. Having low self-esteem. There is a constant self-conviction that you are not worthy of anything, unable to cope with a single task.

Possible reasons

There are a large number of factors that can influence the development of atychiphobia. However, the most common is the negative experience of the past. So the individual could one day face some kind of failure, convinces himself that further actions will be doomed to failure. Full confidence in this affects the development of a phobia.

The main reasons for the development of this phobia include:

• children's fear when there was a serious punishment for a miss, criticism of parents, lack of approval for success;
• in adolescence with complete failure, if a person was ridiculed by peers;
• an adult individual may have fear because of the belief that he will not be able to join the team does not correspond to generally accepted standards.

Characteristic manifestations

There is no desire to take on some business in view of the expected failure. At the same time there will be the following symptoms accompanying fear:

• burning in the chest;
• labored breathing;
• dyspnea;
• tachycardia;
• cramps in the abdomen;
• increased sweating;
• irritability that alternates with a stopper;
• lack of adequate perception of temperature, in a hot room it will shiver, and in a cold room it will become hot.

Atychiphobia can significantly complicate the personal life of a person, his professional activity, drive a person into a corner, turn into a lonely, insecure person.

Ways to fight

The most effective are psychotherapeutic methods of influence.

1. Psychological modeling. This method of treatment should be carried out under the strict supervision of a psychotherapist. The doctor, together with the patient, simulates a situation that ends in failure. The specialist discusses with the patient what emotions currently prevail in him, writes everything down on paper, describes the behavior. Next comes the processing of information, an analysis is made and a selection of alternatives for the body's response to stress. Modeling situations, each time the patient develops the desired behavior model. There comes an understanding that failures must be met with dignity, that it is necessary to take risks and experience something new. After fixing in theory, they move on to practical exercises.
2. Group lessons. A very effective way in the treatment of atychiphobia. Working with people who have similar problems has a beneficial effect. Patients discuss their emotions, error processing is carried out, tasks are given in pairs. A person with low self-esteem who refused normal social life acquires aspirations and new goals. Upon completion of the training, patients decide on a new activity. Life is filled with adventure and there are no phobias.

1. Try to remember when this fear was first observed. Analyze why the failure occurred at that moment, what influenced it. If inattention is to blame for everything, then you need to understand that since that time you have changed, now everything is on the shoulder. And if actions from the outside influenced, then you need to understand that this was not your fault at all, and next time failure can be avoided.
2. If you are entrusted with a case that you cannot handle, it is better to refuse immediately, you should not take unjustified risks.
3. It is important to always have a backup option with you in any situation. In this way, you can calm yourself down, convince yourself that in case of a possible failure, you will have a safety net.
4. Sensibly assess the possible losses in the situation if you do not cope with the task.
5. Realize that all people make mistakes, failures happen in everyone's life. However, it is necessary to draw your own conclusions from this and improve yourself, and not become isolated in your fears.
6. Practice switching your mind. Do not engage in self-discipline before a possible failure. Try to find different ways out of any difficult situation.
7. You need to understand that the fear that arises before possible failures lies somewhere very deep in the subconscious. Therefore, it is important to learn how to program yourself in the right way. Immediately after waking up and immediately before going to bed, it is necessary to say out loud that “everyone can make mistakes, everyone has the right to do so”, “mistakes do not scare me, they give me experience that is very valuable.”
8. Cancellation of failures. An understanding should come that mistakes give you knowledge, the ability to prevent them in the next situation. Forget about the existence of such a thing as failure, treat possible failures as a test.

People limit their actions and undertakings so as not to make a mistake if they have developed atychiphobia, which in Greek means “fear of failure”. They are terribly afraid of making a mistake, of not coping with the task, of disgrace. This fear, like many others, has a destructive effect on a person's lifestyle, affects his intentions. Phobic people see a direct link between opportunity, failure, and competition. For rapprochement, they believe that it is better not to touch on problematic issues. To achieve success for them is comparable to an unattainable goal, and to fail is a disaster.

P.S. At the very bottom there will be a useful video for you!

Fear of failure haunts almost all people. Each of us experiences anxiety before a performance, meeting the opposite sex, is afraid to talk about our desires and even dream. Therefore, living in a cramped world, one is not allowed to go out and try something new.

Atychiphobia originates in childhood. Many parents do not learn how to raise children and do not know how to regulate emotions. Often a child, having committed an act that, from the point of view of the parents, is not correct, is subjected to a psychological attack. The phrases addressed to the child are: “how many times have I told you”, “now think about what you have done, think about your behavior”, “Aren’t you ashamed”, which are reinforced by further punishment or physical abuse. Parents at this moment create a strong negative emotional stress, and the child's consciousness turns off. Only the subconscious mind contacts the parents, where the program of reaction to error and fear is recorded.

The child, due to his inexperience, does not know how to get rid of the fear of failure and how to respond to actions. He only learns perception from elders, from parents, how to behave. Children learn role models by imitating adults, absorbing the rules of behavior, instructions and attitudes of elders. In this case, the parents turn on the mode of self-reflection, that is, the appeal to their emotions. A person, having committed an act, as an adult, will think about how to change the past and what others will think about it, feel a sense of shame, guilt, fear. The mechanism of introspection is launched, in simple terms, self-criticism. A person, focusing on emotions, cuts himself off from the outside world, from the fact that the situation can be corrected. People during making mistakes or stressful situations feel paralyzed. This is a sign that parents in childhood emotionally suppressed and reacted, laying the mechanism of numbness, literally fear.

Another model of parental behavior is important at the moment when the child acted badly or incorrectly. It is important to appeal not to self-reflection and to what the child is experiencing, but to redirect the child’s thoughts from the inner space to the outer space, turning to him with a statement of the fact of the act and the question: how can we correct the unfortunate situation, what do you propose to do? You need to take action to correct the error. Parents in this case, offer to look for a solution to failure, to neutralize the consequences of the past. Thoughts aimed at finding new opportunities turn a person into a creative person who can cope with any events.

Symptoms

Loss of confidence and motivation leads to depression and then to more serious mental disorders. Patients with atychiphobia experience a number of physiological manifestations:

1. Nausea.
2. Nervousness.
3. Shortness of breath.
4. Weakness.
5. Strong sweating.
6. Stomach upset.

These signs come to the fore when people are faced with the possibility of failure in a task they believe cannot be successfully completed.

Ways to overcome fear

Many atychiphobes, dreaming of opening a new business, organizing a hobby, fulfilling a dream, are afraid of the opinions of others. How will I look in the eyes of others? What will others think? - this is the list of questions that arise in the head of a person who is afraid of failure. Someone's opinion, in fact, greatly stops, but no one is interested in your failure. If someone is interested in failure and wants to laugh, then these are not the people you should pay attention to and react to, because by reacting you give them your energy, but do not get rid of fear.

Work with perfectionism, comfort zone and responsibility

How to overcome the fear of failure if it prevents you from moving forward, achieving goals, or you are afraid of what others will think?

The first thing to do is to reconsider your beliefs about fear. The fear of failure is based on perfectionism, which stops you from further action. Perfectionism in psychotherapy is a complex complex process that must be controlled by a specialist. But you can independently deal with the key points of perfectionism. They are:

• resentment;
• negative thinking;
• self-doubt;
• worry and anxiety.

It is important to learn to forgive, even if it does not change the past. Think about who is suffering from resentment - the offender or you. Try to stop taking the poison and move on.

Negative thinking includes gloomy forecasts, sifting out the positive, focusing on condemnation. It is important to develop positive realism in yourself, but not to deny the problems. Remember that nothing is perfect. Allow yourself to be less than perfect, don't be afraid to make mistakes. Write your fear down on a piece of paper, then tear it up and decide to move on with positive thoughts.

Perfectionist people have unpleasant conversations with them. This is where affirmations can help. Unflattering epithets about oneself are replaced with opposite ones, for example, "I am a loser - I am successful." To increase confidence, classes that bring pleasure, improve in your favorite business, are effective.

Anxiety and anxiety are eliminated by transference to the present moment, as anxious people exist in the future with a gloomy tinge. It's important to stop worrying about things that haven't happened yet.

The second rule that will help level the fear of failure is to expand your comfort zone. This point is important because people with perfectionism like to be in a kind of “soap bubble”. If you do not push the boundaries of comfort, you will not get far. To do this, you need to determine the boundaries of where the comfort zone is, and where discomfort is manifested. Every day, going beyond the comfort zone in different areas of life - business or relationships, the boundaries will be expanded, and the world will be multifaceted.

The next barrier to overcome on the way to dreams is the fear of responsibility. Rule number 3 says: taking responsibility for your own mistakes, the fear of failure will gradually go away. Setting a small task every day, doing it, and taking responsibility for it will help build confidence.

Dealing with bugs

Mistakes are the way to get lucky. There is no other way than making mistakes. Atychiphobia unfolds in communities where people compete for certain rewards. Those who dream of starting a business are afraid of failure, so they never take action. Fear of failure or failure is a common reason why people don't achieve their goals. Successful people are those who make more mistakes than others. In the idealistic mind, a successful person is one who does not make mistakes. This is true now, but before he tried many times to perform an action and made mistakes, and based on his failures, he developed a new way to solve the problem, like an athlete in training.

Mistakes belong to the learning zone. When you make a mistake, you just learn. It is important to shift the situation from self-reflection to possibilities. Techniques to help you do this:

1. Mind switching training. Catch yourself thinking when you feel shame and guilt. As soon as you begin to catch these states, you can stop and switch from self-discipline to the ability to look for opportunities in the outside world. Become your own parent so you can switch in reverse.
2. openness of the subconscious. The fear of failure lies deep in the subconscious. It is possible to rewrite the program of the subconscious in the morning immediately after waking up and before going to bed. After waking up, consciousness does not immediately turn on, this is the time of the subconscious. At these moments, say out loud phrases to write down new program into the subconscious and form a new attitude towards mistakes. These phrases are: “to make mistakes is normal”, “everyone has the right to make mistakes, and I also have the right to make mistakes”, “I am afraid of mistakes, but recognized mistakes become experience, and experience is valuable”, “I allow myself to gain experience” .
3. Cancellation of failure. There are no failures in the world, but there is experience. On the way to the goal, experience and knowledge are acquired. The more experience, the more chances to live fruitfully. Those who act get results, so it's important to erase the word "failure".

Conduct a study of an undesirable result, work on mistakes, so that next time you get the desired one and set the next task.

Atychiphobia and sex

Atychiphobia unfolds not only in business area and in the field of competition. Fear of failure can appear in men in the sexual field. Fear of failure in sex is a vicious neurotic circle, when a man is too fixated on the aesthetics of performing a sexual act. A man has a specific idea and purpose about sex, but this is the main mistake, because sex does not have a specific scenario and purpose. Male sexual perfectionism is expressed in a beautiful foreplay, but with a loss of erection at the stage of direct interaction. Some experience fear of failure and loss of concentration when using contraceptives. A beautiful prelude and an exciting flow is interrupted in a relationship by a technical detail. This moment pulls the sensitive hero out of the process, leaving them feeling frustrated. The next attempt is unsuccessful due to the memory of past experiences. Sometimes a vicious chain of sexual misfortunes follows a man long years and manifests itself in a painful state.

On sexual grounds, male perfectionism develops consequences:

• conscious loneliness, rejection sexual relations;
• homosexuality due to excitement and uncomplicated contact with women;
• relationship with a woman whom a man does not love because of the doom to failure with those to whom he is attracted.

The reason for the fear of failure in sex is the basic self-doubt. These can be negative feelings about male physiology, appearance, social status and financial situation. The underlying self-doubt rests on the hypersensitivity of a boy who has been devalued by a parent. Such a man reinforces the attitude received from the elders in the first sexual experience. When he perceives unpleasant words from a partner at his own expense.

In psychotherapy, the technique of responding and reproducing the scenario of sex without fear and failure is used, where the patient is asked to imagine the action in a slow rhythm, pronouncing the course of his thoughts. The next step is to work with thoughts. A perfectionist man assumes that sex must have a certain script, so the task of the stage is to say goodbye to this script and understand that sex is pleasure. The patient returns to his own selfishness and allows himself to enjoy simple things. At the stage of cognitive-behavioral therapy, the task is given - to avoid the introduction of the penis. At first, only petting is allowed, followed by an increase in sexual relations until frictions are obtained.

02.04.2019

Pozharisky I.

People would achieve much more if they were not so afraid of failure. This statement is actually true. Fear […]

People would achieve much more if they were not so afraid of failure. This statement is actually true. Many people have a fear of failure. People begin to seriously worry even before they take the first steps. It seems to them that nothing will work out, that others interfere with any of their achievements. I would like to immediately note that this is a completely normal feeling that every person has at different periods of life. But if we constantly live with this feeling, then persistent self-doubt develops.

Causes of Fear of Failure

Nothing arises from scratch, without apparent reason. So there are reasons for this phobia. If there is a similar problem, you should try to sort it out as soon as possible. Only a deep immersion in your own world will help overcome the feeling of hopelessness and longing.

Negative experience

When faced with severe disappointments, self-confidence certainly declines. Negative experience sometimes affects so much that you no longer want to make any attempts to correct an unsatisfactory situation. Fear of failure binds from within, limits any undertakings. As a result, a person is afraid to act at all, even when it is absolutely necessary. Passing through a large number of negative impressions, of course, leaves an imprint on the individual perception of reality. The person becomes distrustful, irritable, overly suspicious, even sullen. Sometimes it can be hard to believe that better changes can happen to you. People are so arranged that they always rely on previous experience, whatever it may be. If something in the past made you doubt your own abilities, it becomes very difficult to believe that joy and happiness lie ahead.

Wrong upbringing

If from childhood our parents limited our freedom in every possible way, in the future it will be very difficult to believe in ourselves. Self-confidence is something that builds up over the years. Improper upbringing can undermine adequate self-esteem, make an individual closed. Distrustfulness and lack of sociability are also the consequences of parents' mistakes. As a result, there is a fear of taking the wrong action. Such a person doubts for a long time and before taking specific actions, he consults with everyone, thinks a lot, and analyzes.

Manifestations of fear of failure

Recognizing a person who is constantly afraid of making a mistake is actually not particularly difficult. He behaves extremely insecure, constantly looking back at the opinions of others. If we consider such a person in more detail, it turns out that she suffers from numerous phobias, sometimes without any idea what to strive for in life. Let us consider in more detail what manifestations characterize the fear of failure that has arisen.

Increased anxiety

A person endlessly worries about literally everything. If there are any difficulties associated with personal life, work or study, then a lot of tension begins to be felt. Some people become so fearful that they are afraid to take any action at all. It seems to them that a series of failures will haunt them constantly, not giving them the opportunity to come to their senses and try to change anything in life.

Self-doubt

Fear of failure makes you feel very painful feelings. Some people shut themselves off so much from everything that could bring them grief that they miss all the good events. I must say that the fear of waiting for failure literally attracts her. When we over-focus on the bad, that's usually what happens. In most cases, people attract negative energy to themselves completely unconsciously. Self-doubt does not allow you to move to new heights, set achievable goals. You need to be open to new experiences. Only then can they enter our lives.

Fear of action

This is the main characteristic of a person who has a strong fear of failure. The fear of taking any steps towards the desired result turns into even greater problems in the future. A person focuses on what he worries about, and not at all on what he really wants.

Avoiding New Opportunities

The point is that when an individual is afraid of significant changes in his life, he unconsciously begins to run away from learning something new. The thing is that he is afraid to make a mistake. After all, taking any step, we are forced to take responsibility for what is happening. And if the result does not satisfy us, then it will be a strong disappointment, confirmation that the wrong decision was made. To fail means to admit defeat, to discover an existing problem. For some, this is tantamount to signing their own weakness.

How to get rid of the fear of failure

This is a very important question, which it is better to try to clarify for yourself as soon as possible. You need to know how to overcome this painful feeling and not stop believing in your own prospects. A person will have to work hard on himself, to change his attitude to life. Without this step, it is impossible to grow, to rise above the most disturbing situation. So, how to overcome the fear of failure, what actions should be taken?

Goal setting

This is the first thing to start with. It is necessary to imagine in which direction you want to move, what kind of results you are going to achieve. It is best to write down your desires on paper. This will give the necessary impetus to implement them in reality. Goal setting helps you organize your life correctly, set priorities in a timely manner.

Practice development

Thinking about how to remove any fear of acting, you should definitely make the right decision. In any case, constant practice is needed here. The more effort you put in, the better results you can achieve. It is extremely important not to give in to the difficulties that arise, but to try to solve them all accessible ways. Only constant actions can change our lives for the better.

Making Positive Decisions

It is necessary to act in such a way that the result is really pleasing. Make decisions with a smile on your face. Don't be afraid to change your life so much that it will bring surprises. It is in this case that the onset of internal transformation is possible, without which no personal growth can take place. Our soul needs changes, in order to gain a different view of the usual understanding of things.

Thus, the fear of failure actually greatly interferes with life. A person cannot enjoy everyday events, being captive to his illusory ideas. Here you need fruitful work with a specialist. If you need help, do not know how to get rid of negative thoughts, then seek advice from the center of psychology and rehabilitation of Irakli Pozharisky.

Patrick Edblad

Mental trainer, writer, founder of Selfication.

Remember that skill comes with time

Once, the already elderly Pablo Picasso was sitting in a cafe and drawing something on a napkin. He did not notice with what trepidation the woman sitting next to him was looking at him. A couple of minutes later, the master finished his coffee, crumpled up a piece of paper and waved it to send it to the trash can. The movement was interrupted by a question:

Can I keep a napkin for myself? The woman responded instantly. - I will cry.

Of course, the artist replied. - It will cost you 20 thousand dollars.

Excuse me, how much? You made a drawing in just two minutes.

No, mistress, retorted Picasso. - It took me over 60 years.

Picasso lived for 91 years. He died in 1973 and by that time had accumulated an impressive capital. His creative heritage has become famous all over the world. The total number of works approached 50 thousand, among them were paintings, drawings, sculptures, ceramics, engravings and tapestries.

For many decades, Picasso honed his craft and eventually reached such a level that he valued a sloppy hastily sketched for a fortune, or at least successfully joked about it. In any case, the moral is on the surface: skill comes with time. Therefore, in any case, you have to tirelessly practice.

And for this, you should not slow down or give up, even if you fail. Failure should be part of the comfort.

Each of us was a child and did not think whether it was worth learning to walk at all. It didn't matter that the first attempts ended in failure - we just kept going no matter what. They got up, took a step, fell, hurt themselves, maybe cried for a minute, and then tried again. But they never twisted in their heads: “Yes, friend, you are damn clumsy, walking is definitely not your thing.”

Obviously, the fear of failure comes as you get older. Sooner or later, every person begins to feel shame just at the thought of how his failures will become universal fun. Therefore, the majority throws out a lifeline in advance and is limited to what they have.

nelsonart/depositphotos.com

Of course, these limits bind us. We have convinced ourselves that failure should be avoided. For this reason, every failed attempt sends a red stop signal to the brain: don't do it again. And while this reaction gives us a sense of security, it also prevents us from realizing our limitless potential.

Don't forget that the only way to become is to be prepared to fall. Every now and again. Success is inseparable from failure.

Focus on what you can control

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus believed that a person should focus on internals - internal factors that are subject to control. These are, for example, character, values ​​and behavior. External factors - externalities - he cannot control, so it is irrational to worry about them. Externalities include the past, most natural world the thoughts and actions of other people.

There is only one way to calmness - to stop worrying about those things that are beyond the power of our will.

Epictetus

This thought helps me overcome my fear of failure. Almost every time I'm going to write, a series of unpleasant thoughts fills my head: “Who are you anyway? Nobody will read this. Dude, your texts are poor. You just don't have anything to say, right? Drop it and do something else."

In the past, these fears enslaved me. But over time, the understanding came that I am not thoughts, I am the one who hears them. And if so, then my thoughts refer to external things. I can't control what's going through my head right now, so there's no point in worrying about it.

On the other hand, my texts belong to internals. I can manage them. Therefore, I make a decision and continue to improve my skills. I do not look back at doubts and type until I reach the goal.

Don't take other people's opinions to heart

This is another part of my profession that usually becomes big problem. You know exactly what I mean, if at least once in your life you created something and showed it to the whole world.

Positive comments evoke good emotions. But the situation becomes terrible if negative ones come. If you get at least 100 pleasant reviews, the 101st negative one will still remain in your memory.

sirylok/Depositphotos.com

Therefore, do not forget that other people's statements are externalities that should be treated with a healthy dose of indifference. It's impossible to please everyone, so don't waste your energy and waste time on pointless attempts.

Conclusion

From now on, every time you feel the fear of failure, remember the philosophical wisdom:

• Think about the source of fear and let it go if it came from outside and is not under your control. Time is running out, so don't burn it in a futile effort to fix something.
• If you realize that the object of concern is sitting inside you, use it as a trigger. Stop thinking and get down to business.

Be a child who is learning to walk. Fall down without caring how it looks or what others think. New try. And another one. And we try again.

Measure success not in the dexterity with which you avoided mistakes, but in trying to do the job against all odds. Picasso created 50,000 works of art to make the whole world talk about him. What are you ready for?

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist when childhood is gone.

Pablo Picasso