What to do if they don't understand you. What to do when no one understands you

no comments

Asking the endless question - what to do if your parents do not understand you - adolescents without special help are able to bring themselves to difficult emotional states.

It would seem why such a difficulty arises: after all, parents and children remain relatives, feeling each other on an intangible spiritual level. What is changing?

Why don't parents understand their children?

• - the child grows up, his character traits change, the peculiarities of his temperament become more acute;
• - the child adheres to "strange" views, "wrong" hobbies and attachments;
• - the authoritarian style of influence of the older generation;
• - denial by parents, avoiding them;
• - senior and junior.

The reality today is that the greatest job of being a parent is discounted. Working modern parents, and have no time to believe him.

“My parents don't understand me…” - what should a teenager do?

In fact, it is impossible to advise something "universal" here. The eternal does not tolerate haste and superficial advice in its decision.

First. If a teenager has made a decision to "overcome the barrier" on his own, he should look for the reasons for the disagreements that depend on him. The conflict has two sides. In search of a solution to what to do, if the parents do not understand you, the teenager should observe how he is, what he asks of them and what contribution he makes to the everyday affairs of the family.

The second is to seek advice from the parents themselves. With a direct question - "What am I doing wrong?" Listen to the answer calmly, try to remember important things. Don't argue. Loving parents living by the laws of morality will not only respond to such a request with a lively and repentant look, but will also devote as much time as possible to their child. He should also anticipate the flow of parental excuses (about lack of time, about forced and many other things) by asking one more question. Such: "Why don't you understand me?" and prepare for a truthful, not always pleasant answer.

A case from one's life. Liza, at her 13 years old, wanted to get a tattoo "like everyone else." She liked gothic drawings, “scary,” as her mother called her, music. Her addictions became the point of verbal battles with her mother and her father's strict views. Once, when the mother once again threatened to throw a tablet with a collection of "scary" melodies out the window. With an exclamation "You don't understand me!" Lisa grabbed the tablet, opened the window in the apartment on the 6th floor wide open and took the first step onto the windowsill. The mother managed to keep her daughter. Then the parents and the girl talked. Lisa asked why her parents do not understand her.

Options for the development of events:

• 1. Parents authoritatively declare that Lisa should become an “ordinary child”. Lisa promises to reopen the window ...
• 2. Both sides calm down, live as before, sometimes sorting out the relationship.
• 3. Parents promise to listen to the girl's words and be interested in her hobbies as much as she allows them. The daughter promises to initiate the elders into the world of her growing up.

Which of these solutions is correct? The first is fraught with tragedy, the second is common for modern life, commonplace. The third is wiser, more costly for the soul.

However, it is not easy to answer for sure. Life is more complicated than any scheme. One thing is clear: in order to understand each other, both parents and children spend the resources of their souls, spend time on long conversations, not passing off love for each other as a means of speculation. It's worth it.

What if your closest people don't understand you and you feel that you are doomed to cope with all the problems alone?

Happy are those who have close friends or relatives who can truly support in difficult times. Those who know how to silently listen and give good thoughtful advice, recognizing the right to be imperfect and not condemning mistakes, never uttering the phrases "I told you so!" and "pull yourself together immediately!"

It is a pity that few people get such luck. Most often, in difficult times, we meet any kind of reaction, but not understanding. Parents begin to read lectures, girlfriends - to pour out hackneyed phrases about the fact that "all the garbage" and "we will break through" (and how "we will break through" is unknown) or cry with you.

You are looking, you are looking for support, but you do not find ... If you really feel very bad, then such "deafness" of the people closest to you can drive you to despair.

You know, the truth is, most people are really mentally callous. Only this does not mean that they are bad. They hid themselves in shells because they too were often offended and wounded. Or they were raised like that by the same “booked” parents. And this armor does not let them hear you. Do not be offended, that your relatives do not understand you, you need to treat this correctly.

You don’t take offense at your old grandmother because she doesn’t hear you well? Of course not! On the contrary, you come closer and loudly announce: "Grandma, it's me, your granddaughter Olya!" And if you hear in response: "Come in, Come in, Checkmark!", Then again you are not offended, but patiently explain that it is not Checkbox, but Olya. So with mental deafness, everything is the same! They might want to hear you, but they can't! Or they don't see how bad you are, because heart glasses have not yet been invented. Or they are so lost themselves that there is no longer any strength for someone else. Forgive them that!

I do not think that it is worth showing tolerance with absolutely everyone - in everyone's life there are random people who do not want to understand simply because they do not love you and with whom it is really better to part. But with relatives, with those who are close and dear to you, this approach is irreplaceable. Learn to articulate exactly what you want and ask for it. If you want to be listened to in silence - so directly and say: "I want to speak out, please listen to me in silence", if you want to feel sorry and patted on the head, say so: "Please pat my head." If you lack attention, think about what you would like this attention to be expressed, and ask for it.

At first, it will be unusual and scary, perhaps even awkward. And relatives may not react the way you expect, but according to their usual scenario, but this is a consequence of habit. If you do not get scared, but continue, then very soon you will be rewarded - getting rid of one big problem and a qualitatively new relationship with people you love!

Just the other day "the same eggs → Just the other day, "the same eggs, only in profile" were discussed in the girl's :) 12/08/2014 13:40:53, Murcha

Maybe a year well ... at least by the age of 25 → Maybe a year, well ... at least by the age of 25 you should grow up and start listening to what they say to you, and not accuse everyone of "spiritual callousness" ??
Because yes, "I told you so!" and "pull yourself together immediately!" ... If a person said 100 times "don't do, don't do, don't do!" but he did it and now sits sobbing - then there really is no strength to feel sorry for him and wipe the snot - but I want to take a shovel and cut into the brains ... except for the "unfortunate misunderstood" ... Or maybe the UNCONTENTED?
And you read straight and understand that "everything is out of step, one corporal in the leg!" 12/08/2014 14:20:30, Lilac Lady

Well, as usual, it's all about measure. What the → Well, as usual, it's all about measure. What kind of grief is it that has not been supported? Has someone died? Is someone sick? Then yes, you bastards. But these cases are not so common. But if you want to "just speak out" and want to be stroked on the head continuously, then for such purposes you really need to hire a specially trained person and pour out to him for money and productively. Thoughtful advice is given by professionals. And from the usual "close and dear" you want a lot. 12/08/2014 22:56:43, KatrinZZ

No other person in the world can throw us off balance as quickly as Mom. And all because no one means more to us than she. Mom is our first love object. And all further experience of intimacy is based on the relationship with her. In general, the topic of relationships with mom is the topic of relationships with life. Because everything in our world begins with mom, with her we have a special connection.

Story 1
Elena, 34 years old
Mother divorced me from my husband

Mom took Andrey with hostility: "A copy of your unlucky father!" But we did get married. The first three years everything was fine. We lived separately with our mother. We met only on holidays. She was also not involved in raising her grandson. Sometimes my mother threw phrases like “The family needs to be fed, and he strummed the balalaika (husband is a cellist)”. But I was silent. And Andrew, it seemed, did not hear. The first quarrel happened when I got pregnant again a year after the birth of my son. Mom made a scandal for her husband: "Lena has not yet recovered from the first birth, and you have already managed to do the second." Andrey flared up and said nasty things. After I was discharged from the hospital, the relationship between my mother and husband became even worse. Moreover, she often visited us - she helped with the children. I was on Andrei's side: “He loves me”, then on my mother’s: “Andryush, is it so difficult to keep silent?” Although I understood that it was impossible to hold back. My husband began to come home later, my mother and I suspected him of infidelity, I figured out the relationship, Andrei slammed the door. Once the quarrel ended with the words: "Either I, or mother." I couldn’t resist: “If you don’t understand how hard it is for me, go away.” I have been living with my mother for 5 years now. Andrey has no family either.

The heroine's situation is a clear example of the fact that it is often beneficial for a daughter to blame her mother for not letting her do or do something. Elena believes that her mother is to blame for her separation from her husband, and I am sure that young people have stopped loving each other. And both took advantage of the situation to part ways without painful explanations. In my practice, there have been no cases when the mother was able to break a truly harmonious union.

Story 2
Olga, 29 years old
And I dreamed of becoming an artist ...

As a child, I was good at drawing. But often her favorite pastime was interrupted by my mother's call: "Instead of painting, I would have studied English better!" Despite my requests, my mother did not enroll me in art school. She said that I do not have time to do school lessons, what kind of drawing is there! Mother worked all her life as an accountant, rose to the top in a reputable company. Therefore, without even asking me, after graduation I took my documents to an economic university. I tried to resist, but she flared up: "You need a serious profession that will feed you!" I agreed, because my mother was right about something. When I graduated from the university with a sin in half, my mother “shoved” me by pull into one firm. I still work there, although, to be honest, I'm sick of numbers and accounting reports. And recently a friend dropped by with her artist friend. He accidentally caught sight of my children's drawings. Sergei gasped: “You have talent! You must develop! " I sighed: “An artist is not a profession, it is self-indulgence. And I have to earn money. " And suddenly she stumbled: I realized that the words that I pronounce were not mine. For years, my mother drummed them into me ...

Psychologist's comment: To guide the child along the same professional path as
passed by themselves, many mothers try. To some extent, this gives the mother the opportunity not only to relive her successes (if the daughter succeeds, and any mother is sure that it will), but also to correct the mistakes that she once made (instructing and supporting her daughter on career paths). However, it often happens that the mother forces her daughter to choose a profession that she herself dreamed of. No child's arguments are accepted, especially if his dream is from the field of creative pursuits, like Olga's. Powerful mothers are usually quite practical and far from the realm of art. It is a pity that the girl did not manage to do her own way in her youth. But now you need to muster up the courage, take responsibility for your life and start realizing your dream.

Story 3
Ekaterina, 32 years old
I want to raise my son myself!

I always dreamed: if I grow up, I will run away from my parents. No, they are good, only my mother does not want to understand that I am an adult and I have my own life! I didn’t get married out of great love - I just wanted to get rid of my mother’s care. But, thank God, we live with Yegor amicably, we are raising our son Sasha. Three years ago we had to sell our apartment and move in with my parents. Mom immediately grabbed the opportunity to raise her grandson, and at the same time me: "And what did you feed the child, that he is so green ...", "All children are like children, and your stooped ..." At first I joked. Then she asked her not to interfere, because this disorientates Sasha. For example, he sat with a friend, did not do his homework. I scolded him.

And in the morning, the grandmother allowed her grandson not to go to school. It turns out: she is good, I am bad. And so in almost everything! And all of them: "You are mine, little orphan." I ask: "Mom, what are you talking about?" In response I hear: “You disappear at work for days. You see your son once a week. Isn't it an orphan? " Then I noticed that my son had changed. He began to speak like a grandmother. To teach. Argue. I understand: like all children, he took a more advantageous position for himself. But mother's instructions from the lips of her son were the last straw. My husband and I found an apartment in a day and announced that we were leaving. It took so long to figure out what and how I would tell my mother. And then she immediately blurted out: thanks, we are moving out. My mom was hysterical. My father called for a week: he told me that her heart ached. But we held out - did not return. Mom has not changed: she still calls and gives CU. But I hear it once a week, and now I speak the same language with my son.

Psychologist Commentary: The best way to maintain a normal relationship with a hyper caring mother is to live at a distance. Catherine realized this in time and saved her family and parents from many worries. Why did grandmother take up raising her grandson with such zeal? Most likely, there are several reasons: an attempt to return the daughter under her influence, a desire to feel younger ... Although, perhaps, the woman just loves her grandson so much that she does not notice how she interferes in the life of her daughter's family.

Story 4
Tatiana, 29 years old
Mama made me lonely

I've never had friends. Mom considered all the girls she knew to be stupid and vulgar. Communication with them could spoil me, but "with my appearance you need to think about studying, not about partying." “My Tanya is ugly,” my mother said to her friends. - Well, at least the head is bright. Mom is right - I didn't make a beauty. But there are three honors diplomas and 11 years of study at universities (pedagogical and medical institutes). So sorry that I spent half my life lecturing! It would be better to build a family. I don’t know, of course, how. I have no particular experience of dealing with men. There was one contender for the hand and heart, approved by his mother (his family had money). But after six months of courtship, he evaporated, and more fans did not happen. There are no close friends either. After graduation I never saw my classmates. My fellow students were in no hurry to accept me into their companies. I heard what they called a scarecrow. I was not offended: the stuffed animal is so stuffed. I can't baptize my children with them. Today I live with my mom and dad: or rather, we live by ourselves. The mother probably sees what she has done: she is trying to be softer. What's the point? I look at my life - and I want to howl.

Psychologist's comment: The first thing the heroine of this story needs to do is to begin to identify and eliminate her complexes. Unfortunately, the mother was able to "reward" the girl with them to the maximum. Here there is a rejection of oneself as a woman (hence the problems in communicating with men), and a clear opposition of oneself to society (they still don’t accept me, I’ll manage). Tatyana must understand that only a few can live happily outside of society. And I'm sure she's not one of them. This means that you need to stop blaming the mother (this only takes energy away from what the girl really needs) and start working on yourself. Ugly? You can hire a stylist. Lonely? Try to make friends online.

Story 5
Victoria, 31 years old
Life for three
Saturday, 7.30 a.m. Yura and I are lying in bed, making plans for the weekend. Mom enters the door without knocking. Smiles, greets and sits down in a chair. She begins to tell her what she dreamed about and ... knit a sock. My husband and I blush. I am out of anger. Yura - from embarrassment. … When I tell stories from my life together with my husband and mother, my friends cry with laughter. I try to explain that living like this is unbearable. And the girls are surprised: “Come on, Vitka. Mother cares about you so much! " But we will soon divorce because of this concern. By the way, mom does not live with us - she has an apartment on the floor above. But this does not prevent her from considering herself the third - of course, equal! - a member of our family.

After the incident with the socks, the husband silently changed the lock (my mother had the key ever since we were doing repairs in the apartment). But the very next day, his idea gathered a district police officer, a rescuer and an ambulance at our entrance. Mom, out of habit, decided to drop in for a visit in the morning. When the door could not be opened, she began to knock. We were silent. After 15 minutes, it became quiet. And after 20 more, the door was broken open by a district police officer and a neighbor-fireman - my mother did not understand that the key did not fit. I decided that the lock was jammed, Yura and I were gassed, and the whole house needed to be evacuated. The story ended with a fine for falsely calling rescuers and mom's heart attack. My husband went blacker than a cloud for a week. And then he said that he loved and appreciated his mother-in-law, but the apartment had to be sold. I don’t know yet how I’ll tell my mother, but we have already looked after a dormitory on the outskirts. Almost an hour's drive from my mother's house!

Psychologist's comment: The couple made the right decision - to move away from their mother. But I would advise you to inform her about your desire as delicately as possible, explaining this, for example, with clean air in the suburbs. And not by the desire to escape from her. It seems that mom is pathologically afraid of loneliness. Perhaps young people should think about what to do with her, find her a hobby.

P. S. Preparing this hot topic, we noted two interesting and, as it seemed to us, important points. First. Most of our interlocutors, psychologists, argue that serious conflicts with mothers occur in those adult daughters who do not fully realize themselves in other social roles (wife, girlfriend, mother, colleague). Women fixate on their relationship with their mother, allowing her even more control over her life. And they fall into a vicious circle. And the second point: the same majority of consultants believe that the daughter will be able to improve relations with her mother only when she admits that the conflict is ... beneficial to her. Understand why. And it will start working with this setup.

8 senses that rule mom

Anxiety. Mom, without realizing it herself, wants her daughter to live the same way she does, because she knows this path well and considers it the least dangerous.
Loneliness. When a woman does not have her own life, interests, she tries to live the life of her daughter in order to feel needed.
Lack of love. Perhaps your mother in childhood did not receive something - love, support, attention - and is now making up for the lack.
Regret. The mother is doing her best to make her daughter successful, because she did not succeed.
Jealousy. Some mothers think that their daughter, by the very fact of her existence, is stealing a particle of their femininity and this is a threat to them.
Wine. Thinking your daughter is bad is one way to remove the blame from yourself. Such a woman seems to be making excuses: "It was not me who was a bad mother, you are a bad daughter."
Self-hatred. The daughter becomes a mirror for the mother, in which she sees her own reflection, including unpleasant features that she does not want to admit in herself.
Selfishness. This feeling is guided by immature parents - people who really care only about their own person.

How to stop blaming her?

Don't expect things to work out on their own someday. If you want to improve relations with your mom, take the first step.

PhD, author of the book Don't Blame Mother, American Paula Joan Caplan (paulajcaplan.net) suggests starting small - looking at mom as a stranger, a woman in general, forgetting for a while, that she is a mother. For this:
Find out more about her life.
Especially about childhood: the more real you can imagine your mother as little, the easier it will be to understand and accept her current actions. We have such a peculiarity: we are more willing to forgive traits that are unpleasant to us if we are facing a child, not an adult. Even if this little one is drawn by our imagination. To make the picture brighter, ask your mother how old your grandmother gave birth to. How did their family live? What did mom like to do as a child? What is her brightest childhood impression? What was she afraid of? What were you happy about?
Try to understand the motives of her actions.
It is important to find out what influenced the mother the most. Ask her to talk about the most important events in her life. It's good if you can ask questions to someone close to your mother: her mother, sister, friend of her youth. A simple example: often mothers who overly control their daughters' personal lives had problems with men in their youth. And perhaps what you always thought was a mother's dictate was a simple desire to protect your child.
Ask about your birth and first years of life.
Ask your mom the following questions: "How was the pregnancy?", "How did I behave in my stomach?", "What was the birth like?" ? "," What was the most difficult thing in the first year or two? "," Did you consider yourself a bad mother? " Your task is to make it clear to your mother what you imagine, how difficult it is to raise and educate a child, and it is interesting and important for you to find out how everything was with her.
Pay attention to your similarities.
It is worth analyzing absolutely everything: life values, fears, friends, favorite dishes, sources of joy and sadness, gestures, facial features and figure, sense of style, etc. Determine what you are similar in, what are completely different. Honestly, don't choose only good or only bad. After all, your task is not to win the “Who is better” competition, but to get closer to your mother, to understand what makes her act one way or another.
Put yourself in her place.
Imagine how you would behave if you lived the same life that your mother had. What would you do the same as she did? Would you have the courage to act differently in some situations?

What to answer to mom?
It is clear that at some point there is no longer any strength to hold back: you want to break loose, scream and slam the door. And you probably did it more than once. And more than once I was convinced: it is not getting easier, the situation is not changing. Try to react to mom's words differently.

"You are not my daughter anymore!"
So they usually say when they are already completely on edge. Naturally, whatever you say at this moment (both good and bad), the mother will not hear anything. But when she moves away a little, say calmly: “Mom, this is a very serious statement. I am sure that the current situation is not worth it for you to be left without my love and care, and I lost you. I need you".
"If you do that, I'll do something to myself."
In this case, an immediate reaction is also useless. Give the mother the opportunity to feel what was said and for some time "cook" in the surging emotion. Just stay close. Seeing that the storm is dying down, start a conversation: “Mom, what happened is not worth your life. We both understand that everything can be thought over and a way out can be found. And one that will suit both you and me. Let's think ... "
"I dedicated my life to you, and you ..."
The optimal answer is: “I know how much you have done for me. And I understand that I will hardly be able to thank you for everything. The only thing I can do is love my children as much as you love me. "
"You can't do anything without me"
Having heard such a statement, tell your mother: “I agree, without you I will not succeed as with your help. But let me try it myself! I will learn. We must start sometime! "
"Choose: either me or him!"
Perhaps you and your mother will quickly find a common language if you tell her: “Well, you yourself understand, it's like deciding which is more important: to eat or drink. I cannot give up on you and I need him in my life. I know that you are better at understanding people and wish me well. But let me have my own experience. So that later I do not blame you for losing something because of you. Please support me!

If you have a daughter
Svetlana Roiz, child, family psychologist, member of the European Professional Psychotherapeutic League

More often than not, mothers do not realize that they are preventing their daughter from living a happy, fulfilling life. Is your baby still small? Try to let her go in time. This is the guarantee of your trusting relationship for life. A mother who managed to give her girl reasonable freedom at the right time and who allowed her to move away, will forever remain a close person for the child. And, most importantly, it will help the daughter to become self-sufficient, happy and self-confident. The first turning point in a mother-daughter relationship occurs at the age of three. What is special about this time? The fact that the child begins to recognize the world in a different way - not through his mother, but through his own observations. Try to loosen the embrace of love, let the little person have his first social experience. The next important stage in your relationship with your daughter is her adolescence. And here you also need to step aside in time: give the girl the opportunity to independently learn to build adult relationships with peers, older people, boys. Naturally, we do not mean permissiveness and lack of control. But your daughter should feel that you trust her and understand that she has a lot to do herself. And if you need help, you will be the first to rush to the rescue.

Another adult cannot be changed. Another adult cannot be changed.
Other ... in general, it should be repeated as a mantra, as a hymn to the limits of our possibilities.

The most we can do in a relationship is to ask for change. Even if this other type is extremely unpleasant. Even if it is your wife who shows "negligible attention to household chores." Even if it's your husband who "spends too much time with his friends." Even if it is a grown-up son / daughter who does not show a desire to see / communicate with us.
If someone insolently invades our personal space, ignoring requests not to do this, he can and should be stopped and expelled back, but this person cannot be changed.
He will simply have to be expelled over and over again if he has not learned the lesson and we have enough strength, but learning the lesson due to the use of force is not a change in a person, just his aggression, encountering an obstacle, finds another object.

The idea that if you put in enough effort, you can make the other person change and become more comfortable, it ends in physical abuse. You gotta beat the shit out of that crappy head.

Therefore, it is important to remember: as soon as an idea appears in my head not to negotiate with another adult, not to deal with the fact that it is impossible to find a common language on some issues, but to try to push the resisting one in order to push something of my own into him - then I embarked on a path that may sooner or later lead to physical violence.
And it doesn't matter how you try to push through: actively-aggressively, through shouts and threats, or passively-aggressively, through insults, accusations, boycotts, and so on.

More often than not, those people from whom they themselves "beat the crap" in the past come to the point of being beaten. And the thought that if "human material" resists your will, then you need to increase the pressure, and not admit your powerlessness - from the same place.

But what if someone provokes ?!

Yes, even if it provokes or you just figured it out for yourself - it doesn't matter. We fall for a provocation if we are sure that something can be done with the person who is engaged in these “provocations”. You can shut it up, of course - fear and pain create "great" things. But the question arises: why is there a person next to whom it is impossible to come to an agreement (and again it does not matter who is to blame) and who can only be forced / shut up ?!

But what to do if they do not understand "humanly"? In general, what to do when they do not understand you, do not understand the "obvious" (from your point of view) things?
Deal with the fact that they don't understand. Think about what and how I say, what is happening in our relationship and what is my role in the fact that there is no understanding. That is, to regulate yourself and not another. And if all else fails (yes, it happens, and alas - quite often) - to deal with the fact that does not help, and not to try to push / crush. And as a result, which is quite possible - to disperse / retire.

It is very difficult to admit your powerlessness until you reach the extreme point.
But - the other cannot be changed.
You can ask, you can talk about your feelings and experiences (if they hear you), you can offer compromises and options that suit both. Or to admit powerlessness in these attempts. Until we realize it and live - the path to war is open. And beyond this impotence
if you accept it and experience it to the end - freedom.

"Nobody understands me, And I must die in silence ..." A.S. Pushkin. Probably every person has faced the problem of misunderstanding (or misunderstanding). While this is a problem for some, it is not for others.

This is a truly insoluble problem when a person has a fear of being misunderstood. Such people usually suffer from their indecision, and often achieve little in life.

How to overcome the fear of being misunderstood by other people?

The same should be done with the fear of being misunderstood.

Communicate. You will either be understood or not.

And if they don't understand? Maybe not communicate with other people at all?

Not going to work, not making friends with anyone, forgetting about marriage, living alone, or together with your beloved cat. Isn't it heaven !?

Why with a cat? If you don't like cats, you can live with a dog, or with a rat, with any other animal. After all, you are not afraid that your pet will misunderstand.

And a person ... It's more difficult with a person. Each person (even a loved one) has his own inner world, and it is different from yours.

Such an experiment was carried out. Ten subjects were shown short stories on the monitor. Each of them had to quickly say the first thought that arose in his head. The plots changed quickly, so there was no time to think.

Here's one example. Plot: A woman says: "I baked pies with potatoes"

Subjects' answers:

- I am hungry;
- I want to learn;
- why not with cabbage;
- I love pies;
- I'm losing weight;
- I have to tell my wife to bake it;
- dough with potatoes is harmful;
- this blouse does not suit her;
- I hate pies;
- pretty woman!

As you can see, the same picture evokes different associations for each person. But this is just one short story with a simple phrase. What can we say when we are trying to explain to another person our vision of the world!

He will see his picture anyway! Never, not one person will fully, one hundred percent understand another!

No matter how detailed you tell, no matter how you try to explain, each word you say can be interpreted in different ways.

In order for one person to absolutely understand another, he must: be born in the same family of the same parents, on the same day and hour, live the same life as you ... That is, it must be you !!! You and no one else.

Do you always understand yourself?

There can be only one conclusion here: to be afraid that you will not be understood is absolutely pointless! And harmful. Fear of health will not add.

Therefore, live life to the fullest, communicate with people you like, be yourself, love yourself and less boggle your head with questions like: "What will happen if I am misunderstood?"

If you do not find mutual understanding with a loved one, sit with him in a comfortable atmosphere, on a full stomach, and try to find out what exactly he does not understand. Indeed, it often happens that when communicating to describe the same phenomenon, you use different words. Or vice versa, you attach different meanings to the same words.

Be sincere, love, and you will succeed.

And if you look at it, for happiness a woman needs one person to understand her - her beloved.

I wish you happiness and love!