Society does not accept me. White crow

German footballer of Turkish origin Mesut Ozil, playing for Arsenal London, announced his retirement in the national team. The reason for this decision was the sharp criticism of the immigrant footballers, which began after the defeat of the German national team at the 2018 World Cup in Russia.

About his decision Ozil announced on twitter. In three entries, he criticized the German press, which, according to the football player, scolds him just because he is of Turkish origin.

"I am German when we win, but immigrant when we fail," wrote the 2014 world champion with the German national team. According to Ozil, he is still not accepted as one of his own in German society and his merits are forgotten.

Ozil noted that in connection with the photographs with Recep Erdogan, it is absolutely unfounded. According to the footballer, some German publications use his photographs with Erdogan as "ultra-right propaganda," although he himself has nothing to do with politics.

“For me, the photo with Erdogan is just a tribute to the highest office in the country of my family,” Ozil wrote. He noted that his mother taught him to respect his roots and not forget where his family came from. “I have two hearts: one is German, the other is Turkish,” Ozil said and noted that he does not care who the president of Turkey is now; it is important that this is the president of the country where his family comes from.

According to the footballer, he faced racist insults from both politicians and ordinary fans in Germany. In this regard, he made the decision not to wear his national team jersey anymore and not to play for Germany.

Meeting with Erdogan

Mesut Ozil posed for a photo with Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan in London during a charity event on May 13, 2018. The footballer was criticized for the photo not only by the German press, but also by the local football association, since Erdogan, as stated by the head of the organization Reinhart Grindel, does not share the values \u200b\u200bfor which she is fighting.

The meeting with the Turkish President took place shortly before the start of the FIFA World Cup in Russia and more than a month before the presidential elections in Turkey. Erdogan won them.

Until now, Ozil has not commented on the picture with Erdogan in any way. After the publication of this picture, he took part in the FIFA World Cup in Russia and entered the field in two matches. In total, the German national team held three meetings and could not make it to the playoffs.

Ozil plays as an attacking midfielder and is considered one of Arsenal's key players.

The scandalous incident with the younger sister of the model Natalia Vodianova shook the entire world community. A girl who was diagnosed with autism and cerebral palsy as a child was kicked out of a cafe in Nizhny Novgorod because she allegedly scares off customers. "This is a signal for society that cannot be overheard. Let's help people with disabilities and their families be happy, "Natalia Vodianova wrote then on her Facebook page. Perhaps, in all post-Soviet countries, to put it mildly, a wary attitude towards people with autism, cerebral palsy, Down syndrome. And Ukraine is no exception. About why our society is not yet ready to fully accept people with special needs, "" I talked to the director of the Child with a Future Children with Autism Fund, Larisa Rybchenko.

"" Could a similar story, as with Natalia Vodianova's sister, have happened in Ukraine?

L. R. Unfortunately, similar situations arise in Ukraine. They do not cause such a resonance, because we are not talking about Vodianova's sister or any other famous person. It is because of the risk of such situations that many parents are afraid to go out into society with special children. Although I can proudly say that over the past five years, Ukrainian society has made a significant step towards tolerance for people with disabilities. And although there is still a lot to be done in this direction, there are parents of children with autism who not only go to cafes, cinemas, theaters and museums with them, but are ready to fight to ensure that they study alongside ordinary children in schools and kindergartens. This is a colossal progress that began within society, which means that over time it will manifest itself both in large cities and in small villages.

"" The leader of the Other Russia party, Eduard Limonov, said that people with
developmental features should go to specialized cafes. How do you assess this statement?

L. R.This is called discrimination, which all progressive humanity is fighting against today. With or without special features - this is, first of all, a person, and this is the main thing. In addition, I am sure that if Mr. Limonov had a son or daughter with disabilities, he would have looked at this situation differently, at least I would like to believe in it. Isolation of all "who are different" is a post-Soviet syndrome, which, unfortunately, is being cultivated again in Russia today ... But world values, including tolerance for people with disabilities, penetrate today into every country, into every home. You can hide from this process only by creating an information vacuum on the one hand and your own "television reality" on the other, and then, in my opinion, not for long. Politicians in Russia are trying very hard in this direction, but I hope they will not succeed. Because I know for sure that the movement that fights for the rights of people and children with disabilities in Russia is large and progressive. It includes very reasonable and strategically thinking people who understand the specifics of their country and know how to weed out the "populist statements" of politicians for the media from real work with these same politicians. And they succeed.

"" What problems are there in our country in relation to people with disabilities? What reactions do they usually get from strangers?

L. R. I would like to note that today all over the world it is customary to say not "people with disabilities", but "people with special needs in development." It seems to be a trifle - the name, but think, what a big difference in the meaning ... The use of the correct name for such people, especially the media, is already a significant step towards a tolerant society. In Ukraine, problems with tolerance can be divided into two categories: the fear of the parents themselves and their unwillingness to establish communication with others, and the fear of those around them, who do not understand what is wrong with the child and are therefore afraid of his reactions. If a mother, seeing how another child tries to play with her child with autism, who does not speak, for example, tries to play, and explains that her son or daughter has special features and, as a foreigner, cannot communicate, an ordinary child will find a way to play and without words. And if the mother does nothing, then the child may be offended that they do not want to talk to him and, as a result, offend the child with special needs, or simply will no longer try to play with him. As a result, a child with special needs will suffer, because he had a chance to make a friend, but he himself cannot do it yet, he needs help. I want to note from my own experience that normative children are very tolerant of children with disabilities, they do not care that he is different in something. As a rule, these are mothers, fathers, grandmothers whispering in his ear "he is kind of weird, don't play with him." And they do it out of fear, which I spoke about earlier - they do not know what to expect from such a child and are afraid that their offspring may be offended. You need to talk to such parents and explain everything.

"" Why is our society, for the most part, intolerant of people who differ from the majority? And why are there no such problems in European countries, the USA?

L. R.The intolerance of our society towards people with disabilities, in my opinion, is due to the fact that in our childhood they were not there. Anyone who was somehow different was locked behind closed doors. The children were taken from their parents, pumped up with medicines and locked up in boarding schools. They fought against dissent and "foreignism" with the most severe measures. And today, when these doors opened and people and children with special needs appeared next to us, we simply do not know how to behave - no one taught us this! How can you be tolerant of a person if you are just afraid of him? As for the United States and Europe, they had a similar situation, only 50 years ago. It was then that they seriously started talking about tolerance, began to educate it, put children with developmental disabilities and ordinary children at the same desk. Today this generation has grown up and treats people with disabilities quite adequately, many know how and how to help. Although it cannot be said that they have no problems. They are, but still not in such quantity as we have.

"" What needs to be done to ensure that people with special needs and their families become an equal part of our society?

L. R.Today in Ukraine there is no systematic assistance to families in which children with special needs are born. Parents independently experience the shock of the diagnosis, independently look for specialists, of which there are only a few throughout the country, independently seek (who is capable of this) opportunities for training. What is equality for any child? It is an opportunity to receive medical care, study, spend leisure time and have friends, get a profession, work and be independent. We are working to create such conditions for children with disabilities, as they need services that are not in the system for normative children. When such a system works, a huge part of society will be involved in it, which means that it will cease to be afraid of children with special needs and will look at them as equal members of our society.

An outcast is a person with a special worldview who opposes himself to society and does not fit into its way of life. But such a person always has a chance to remain himself and at the same time not be rejected.

Instructions

If you feel that some of the foundations of society are becoming alien to you, do not try to resist this process. Man is an individual being, and the appearance of such personalities, who are called outcasts, illustrates how developed society is and whether there is disorder in it.

Developing your uniqueness, try to understand for yourself that any person, in essence, is. It's just that not everyone admits it. Worries about getting money, spending it on common pleasures, fashionable stylish clothes, rest - all this does not indicate the presence of a collective mind, the mind of the "herd", which excludes and casts doubt on existence, the only one in a human being?

Not to be outcast, you must accept the terms of society. Live by its rules, changing it for the better. Take this chance to improve the living environment in favor of a thinking, natural, part of nature.

To join any team or society, it is necessary to observe the adopted laws, style of behavior, "dress code", manner of communication. But you can still be yourself. Someone might not like your humor or point of view. Someone will be sickened by the “colors and style” of your behavior and the desire to understand the essence of some, possibly forbidden things. Don't be afraid to voice your opinion.

Reflect on the fact that society certainly has an impact on the life of the individual. But there is also a feedback. The extent to which your personality is developed in accordance with the laws of nature has an impact on the people around you, space, events.

Your position should be life-affirming. If you feel the need, nurture the best in yourself. Then it will be strange to hear that you - a person striving for perfection - are outcast for society.

Sources:

• Outcast child in class

In any team, perhaps, there are people who keep aloof. They have little contact with other members of the team. They do not participate in some common affairs and entertainment. And sometimes it is completely incomprehensible how they ended up in a team with which they have so little in common.

School is also a team. Sometimes even more difficult than an adult. Indeed, in the adult team, the requirements of ethics are still observed. Which is not always found in children's groups. Children do not know how to tolerate those who are incomprehensible to them or are somehow different from them. Such a child can not only be joked, but even mocked.

No parent wants such a fate for their child. And any parent will protect their child from the attacks of other children. But sometimes it is precisely this kind of protection, which turns into excessive custody, that serves as an extra reason for the mockery of the child by peers. Most often, such exaggerated custody is found on the part of caring mothers. Therefore, from early childhood, impressionable mothers must learn to control their emotions and impulses.

You need to learn to calmly look at abrasions and bumps. Don't panic about the girl's torn knees and torn dress. You shouldn't make a tragedy out of this and run screaming to look for the guilty. If only because in most cases the child receives such injuries in the heat of the game, when both he and his peers are so keen that they do not think about the safety of the nose and knees. And only together with the feeling of pain the feeling of resentment creeps in.

Parents should empathize with the child, but without much emotion. You can clarify how he feels at this moment. He will definitely be distracted by the awareness of his feelings and will calm down much faster. This is how parents teach their child not to dwell on failures and troubles. And this skill will be very useful in the children's team.

Another reason for the separation of the child from the team may be the inability to defend his point of view. This happens with children, for whom everything is always decided by lovely parents or caring grandparents. Freedom and independence must also be taught. Gradually, it is necessary to provide the child with the opportunity to choose in more and more situations. You can start with small household items.

A child confident in his own abilities can always defend his rights. And if such a child is outside the team, then only of his own free will. And no one can call him an outcast, because, despite his isolation, he will certainly enjoy the respect of his peers.

Sources:

• Outcast child in class

An outcast is a person who is rejected by society. All his attempts to re-enter his social environment end in one scenario - he is rejected again. Why does a person fall into the role of an outcast and how can he get out of this role?

When a team rejects a person

In every collective, rejection of someone happens in a different way. At school, it can be ridicule, insults and even physical harassment, in adult groups, rejection can take place in the form of sophisticated ignorance, when there seems to be no outright neglect, but one person feels very bad, and everyone else, as if by prior agreement, play their role.

An outcast is one in whom most of the people around him begin to see what they reject in themselves. These can be qualities such as insecurity, lack of success in the profession. However, it can also be any qualities that it was in this team, for some reason, were prohibited. For example, the boss dislikes fussy employees or those who like to take initiative. If he can spread his mood to the rest of the team, then an employee who has such qualities can become an outcast and endure many negative moments in relation to others.

Or another example. There are groups in which an atmosphere of ambition reigns. Members of such teams set difficult tasks for themselves and each other and are very proud when they manage to achieve them. If a person who is deprived of this quality falls into such a team, he can become an outcast due to the fact that others will not be able to respect him and will see in him what they would not want to see in themselves - the lack of desire to achieve anything in life.

Thus, in most cases it turns out that they become an outcast in relation to a certain group. If the same person ends up in another community where the qualities that are inherent in him are not rejected, he may feel quite good there.

Sometimes in children's collectives, those children whose parents take too much care of them and constantly control their lives become outcasts. Also, the reason for rejection may be some feature that the collective does not accept - illness, character trait, belonging to any social stratum, poverty, or, on the contrary, material security.

In this case, it is necessary to analyze what values \u200b\u200bare inherent in this team, what qualities are rejected. After that, you need to understand what qualities a person who has become an outcast shows. If this contradiction is insoluble, then it is necessary to look for a new team, or build relationships based on this information.

When a person rejects others

However, it also happens that a person becomes an outcast in almost any collective. This is a completely different situation. Here you need to understand what qualities in a person make him an outcast.

Firstly, such an outcast may initially deny many of the values \u200b\u200bthat the collective professes and show their disrespect in some statements and actions. This, in turn, is reason enough for rejection.

Secondly, each member of the community performs some function, does something useful for him. The outcast, on the other hand, refuses to invest in the team. He is focused on himself and on his opposition. By this he himself provokes others to rejection. How can you accept a person who rejects himself?

Thirdly, an outcast may simply not be able to build relationships with society due to their characteristics. If such a person does not respond to impulses from others and withdraws into himself, not having the ability to build a dialogue, then he can also become an outcast.

In life, in order to become an outcast, a person does not need the manifestation of all factors at the same time. One or two is enough to get rejection. In the first case, when a person denies the values \u200b\u200bof the team, the reaction of those around him can become the most harsh. Whereas in the latter case, if there is simply an inability to build a dialogue, then rejection will take on a softer form.

Thus, it is necessary to understand the reasons that led in each case to this problem, so that they can subsequently be corrected.

Starting from kindergarten, and continuing in school, in almost every group (class) there is a girl or boy, whom others treat without due respect, and sometimes even with hostility. Such children are accused of someone else's fault, their personal belongings are taken away and invented offensive nicknames.

Often outcasts are children with physiological disabilities, of a different nationality or social stratum, “botanists” and “bespectacled”. Children become weak from the inability to consolidate boundaries with other people. This is due to the parents, who are very strict, demand the impossible and apply all decisions for their children.

In a learning environment, to be good, you need to stand out and follow the rest. Unlike adults, children do not control emotions and show their aggression explicitly. At first, one oppressor will appear, but if he does not see resistance, then over time a group of similar ones will form.

How can you help such a child?

The common opinion is that it is necessary to change the environment, talk with the parents of the abuser, connect the teacher or class leader. However, in practice, this method is ineffective. After such actions, the child is even more susceptible to humiliation, and he is considered a "mama's boy", unable to resolve the issue on his own. Consequently, rogue children should change themselves, and parents should only help and help.

First, find out the factors of the bad attitude towards the child. There are problems that can be easily fixed:

if the child has problems with weight, make sure that he eats right, get him interested in playing sports;

if the child wears glasses, replace them with lenses;

if the child devotes a lot of time to study, advise him to engage in collective activities in the class, to take part in the preparation of the holiday;

if the child is poorly dressed, buy him fashionable clothes (normal clothes for children can also be purchased in stock stores).

It is much more difficult when the shortcomings are not eliminated for objective reasons. For example, physiological abnormalities or inappropriate nationality. Here you need to help the child find such a hobby or occupation in which he would have the opportunity to achieve great results. This can be computer technology, various sports or arts and crafts.

Listen to and support your child's interests. In any case, do not talk about how everyone around is bad and evil. On the contrary, show your child how you can change people by changing yourself before. This will be a real discovery for him.

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Society doesn't accept people like me, Psycho thinks as he walks past the grocery store.

Society does not accept crazy neurotics suffering from hysterical fits. Society will never accept an insane person. Society will not accept him if it finds out that he is gay. Snow, blinding the eyes with its whiteness, crunches softly and pleasantly underfoot. Black branches of trees, on which a thin layer of frost has settled, gently sway. Today it is quite warm and it is noticeable that the snow has begun to melt. The end of winter is already coming.

He reaches out to the handle on the door of the Magnit building, continuing his thought. Society does not accept impolite, irritated choleric people. Society will not listen to his problems. Society will never help, will never lend a helping hand. This means that you should look for a helping hand only at your shoulder. The store smells warm and delicious. With a rumbling stomach, he immediately goes to the convenience store, purchasing beach bags, and then goes to the very end of the store, where there are ruddy and soft fresh loaves. Why only bread and "Doshirak"? Because society does not accept the poor. So is his boss, who constantly delays his salary.

Leaving the store, the frosty air immediately burns the nostrils with its cold. The psycho feels that his fingers are starting to freeze and he needs to hurry home. In a hurry, he does not immediately notice some battered boy sobbing in streams. For a moment, Crazy stops, trying to make out a quivering dot next to another black-ebony tree. For a moment he wanted to come up and ask what had happened. But he changed his mind. It's none of his business.

Society does not accept him in the same way as lonely, crying children. He is also a part of society and he does not care about small, snotty boys. For some reason, from this whole situation, irritation began to accumulate in him. Now Psycho's gait is heavy and he throws snow with the toes of his boots. He has neither the desire nor the time to mess with him. No, Crazy, don't even think to turn around. You have enough of your own problems.

And yet ... Bitterness poured down his throat and flooded his lungs, making them shrink painfully. If society does not accept children, if even he, rejected by society, also ignores the rejected? It turns out that he is much worse than an indifferent society? The psycho turns sharply and rapidly and walks towards that boy, preferring not to think about the fact that he should not be in contact with children. But it turns out that now only he will help him ...

Hey, what are you doing? - for some reason, the boy becomes terribly sorry. The psycho has never felt such strong sympathy as he does now. This is perhaps only due to the fact that now he is faced with someone else's problem one on one.

Uncle ... Help, please ... I am w-lost ... - unable to cope with intermittent breathing, the boy whines. And he cried even more.

Come on, dry your tears, calm down, and then you will tell me everything, okay? - The psycho is not used to his own voice. Too kind, sympathetic, sympathetic and even gentle. For the first time, he does not feel the irritation always looming in the background, or enveloping his consciousness in the moment of anger. Nothing like this.

The boy calmed down a little. The psycho thought with surprise that man is a social being. Therefore, society, it turns out, is simply necessary for a person. No matter how cold and indifferent it is. People always feel better if someone is around. Even the Psycho, instead of irritation, feels only some lightness from the fact that there is a living being next to him.

Tell me, it was getting cold and it was necessary to deal with all this quickly.

W-we went for a walk with my mother. She left and said that I would wait for her at that booth. Big boys called me for a walk, and then they said that I would guard this tree. I sat here for a long time, but it was already late, and they did not come. And I forgot where that kiosk was and I don't know which way my house was - rare sobs prevented him from speaking a little, but, in general, it was clear that now he was in control and was not panicking.

Do you know your address? - Hoping for a positive answer, asked the neurotic.

Yes, but the adults didn’t want to help me, ”he said with noticeable sadness and finally removed his hands from his face.

The boy had a pretty face, albeit tear-stained, red from frost and woolen gloves. A few red hairs remained on his plump cheeks. And the boy himself is a little fat and chubby.

Let's go then. Where are you going to go? - the tone of the Psycho became cheerful and the boy smiled timidly.

To Kukushaeva Street, to a house that looks like the letter "G", and then to my apartment, - Psycho took a trembling palm in his, so wide, warm. Gripping with snow, they hurried to the street.

Hi Crazy! Is that your son? A deep voice made him turn around. Doc ?! What is he doing here?

All calmness vanished in an instant, Psycho was visibly nervous. He already said that somewhere in the beginning: "Society does not accept gays." So here she is, the very reason for his next non-standard. The one who finally and irrevocably removed his chance of being a normal person. And, the most offensive and annoying, Doc doesn't even know what he's done. His appearance attracted the neurotic, and his calm nature was discouraged. Although, when did this fire flare up from the icy water flooding the fire? So the patient felt like a dying flame, which is being strenuously drowned in ice water ...

Hey. No, he ... What's your name? - for some reason I couldn't get angry. Either the point is that the nervous patient is tired of all these emotional shocks, or the realization that there is a vulnerable and very nervous child nearby who does not want to be frightened by his "explosions".

My name is Kirill, - all of him somehow straightened up.

And so ... You are walking arm in arm with a little boy, whose name you do not know ... It's somehow suspicious, - Doc chuckled and Psycho immediately understands where he is leading. How dare he ?! What would the Crazy, but covet the foolish boy! That the one whom he loves so much would say such things! Not heard!

How dare you even think about that ?! Enrage already! I ... - he shut up when he noticed the child out of the corner of his eye. No, you can't swear in front of children. Even if this is contrary to the principles of an ill-mannered and wild Psycho.

I was just kidding, ”he smiled apologetically, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose.

He was lost. I'm taking him home, - Psycho was starting to get bored with all this. He is tired and just wants to sleep. And eat what has been shaking in his bag for twenty minutes.

Then, let me help you? Doc's expression became even more guilty and worried than before.

Go ahead, ”the neurotic threw indifferently and hurried to the next street with a quick step.

And who is it? the boy asked, not even thinking to lower his voice. Then Crazy would have replied that their escort was just an annoying idiot.

I'm his psychologist -

And why did he get sick ... Psycho? .. - the boy, at last, discovered the strangeness of the name Psycho. Yes. His parents made fun of him.

Well, he's a lot nervous, - Doc answered evasively, not wanting to talk about the fact that this same patient, in a fit of anger, smashes half of his office.

However, Doc could not fail to note the strange changes in Psycho. Next to this child, he became so ... caring and calm. He even envied Cyril. Oh, if the Psycho was so gentle and kind to him ... But society does not accept gays, as has been said throughout this story. Society does not accept the relationship between a doctor and his patient, especially if they are both men.

ABOUT! This is my home! Thank you, uncle! I ran! .. - and, laughing wildly, the boy galloped off towards the entrance.

You know, I'm surprised, ”Doc muttered, following the boy's back with his eyes.

Than? - Indifferently and wearily asked the Crazy, expecting another stupid joke from Doc.

The fact that you know how to be affectionate. Oh, I even envy that boy, - The psycho jerked up sharply from another similar hint. Why is Doc so fond of vulgar and unfunny jokes? Why should he listen to all these jokes, secretly hoping it's not a joke?

A familiar feeling ... When it seems to be all the same, but it seems to be not. When you don't care about the consequences and when you just want to rush forward. When, in a state of passion, you are ready to throw yourself off a cliff to feel how the air expands your ribs, how the winds pick you up with their gusts. And I don't care if you crash.

Do you want me to be affectionate with you? - Crazy hissed, grinning maliciously. Fatigue from long work and lack of sleep were especially pressing on him.

And he rushed at Doc like a hawk on a mouse, pulling him by the collar of his jacket. With frozen lips it clings to it and its tongue rummages through the row of even white teeth of his doctor. Fingers convulsively crease the collar and do not care if someone is looking at them now. Don't care if their fragile friendship may have collapsed. At least he can feel what it is like to kiss a loved one. Even if this is the last time they see each other.

Crazy froze in surprise as Doc unclenched his jaws and let him in, kissing him back. Tongue braids on tongue, Doc moans long and Crazy feels that a little more and he will lose balance from excitement. He feels Doc rubbing his erection against his thigh and realizes that he desperately wants to knock down the psychologist and fuck him right here in the snow. However, they still need air. They break away from each other and breathe heavily, dumbfounded looking into each other's eyes.

Society does not accept the nervous and deranged Psycho ...

Society does not accept the relationship between the Docs and their patients ...

Society does not accept relationships between men ...

And yet…

I love you, ”Crazy whispers in Doc's ear, tilting his head and resting his chin on his shoulder.

I love you, too. ”Doc puts his arms around his back and hugs him.

Why are some children not accepted by the team? It would seem so sociable at home - and suddenly so alone at school. But that child, whom you feed breakfast every morning, and kiss in the evening before bedtime, may be perceived by classmates quite differently from how you imagine it ...

The question in the envelope:“This year Petya went to school. How happy he was when on the first of September he carried a bouquet, how excitedly for the first week he talked about everything that happened at school. And then my boy was replaced. Petya became withdrawn, sullen, uncommunicative.

I could not resist, went to the teacher and was horrified to learn that no one in the class was friends with Petya. I am shocked and bewildered - how could this have happened and what should be done to improve the situation? "

Marina, Krasnodar

Rogue Observer Leader

For a long time, and not without reason, psychologists have noticed that any collective is not far from the animal pack in its essence. Only its formation occurs in animals on an instinctive level, and a person creates a collective quite consciously, but the laws of the wild world are the same here. So, in a pack-collective there should be a leader - this is a person who cements the collective, leads, sets goals, develops a "general line". They fulfill his will, obey the observers, or executors, those who are usually called the "mass". But one more character is no less important in the team. This is an outcast. Even more than the authority of the leader, the collective rallies hatred towards him.

Extra children

The leader in the school collective, as in the pack of animals, is easy to recognize. This is the strongest, the most ruthless, the most rude, the most impudent, the most lively child. The one everyone fears. But the role of the outcast is not so straightforward. The "black sheep" in the class is the one who does not meet the standards set by the leader. According to the logic of adults, someone who has some negative qualities - cowardice, meanness, should become superfluous. However, remember Rolan Bykov's wonderful film "Scarecrow". There, the kind, sweet, vulnerable Lena Bessoltseva became an outcast. Just because she was different, not like everyone else.

Who are we friends against?

You can become not like everyone else for various reasons. Psychologists distinguish several groups of children, against which, as a rule, the majority in the class is opposed.

Children with unusual appearance. Lameness, visible scars, squint, thickness. If your child has a physical disability, then you need to be prepared for the fact that he will become an outcast.

Quiet and weak. They cannot fight back, do not know how or are ashamed to swear, call names, therefore they become an easy target of the leader, and after him - of the whole class. At the expense of the weak, self-affirmation of other children occurs.

"Unpopular". These are children who are poorly informed about the life of the collective, do not participate in its affairs - they often miss classes due to illness, unsuccessful in school, sports, awkward, "mattresses" and "rohly". Unfortunately, children from low-income families are often among the unpopular children.

Cramps and suckers. These are not just those who study well and truly love the teacher. These are those who, for the sake of assessment in the diary, spend days and nights sitting over the hated textbook, they are the first to reach out and are ready to answer any question. These are the ones who will bring the bag to the teacher's entrance, put the chocolate bar, look into the eyes. They are not just disliked. They are hated.

Stay alive

If you find out that your child is unpopular, that the team has not accepted him, that his classmates are offended and called names, you need to take action. Krasnodar psychologist Maria Stepovaya advises:

Talk to the teacher, find out the reason for the dislike for your child, but do not rush to punish the offenders - it will only get worse: from boycotts and insults, the class can go to beatings.

Send your child to a club or sports section - this will help him gain respect in the team, give him confidence.

Teach your child to perceive attacks from classmates with humor, react to them outside the box, and turn insults into a joke. The abuser always expects to receive a certain reaction from the victim: tears, anger, etc.), the victim's unusual behavior is able to stop aggression. For example, you can agree with the nickname "Yes, we have such a surname, so they teased my great-grandfather."

Do not keep the child close to you, let him go for a walk with friends, do not come to meet him at school, do not repeat every minute whether he took a handkerchief, put on a hat, or hurt himself. Try to provide the child with communication with classmates outside of school, encourage the child to communicate with them, do not scold if he gives to cheat.

It is necessary to promote the child's participation in class activities and trips in every possible way. You should not immediately pick up your child from school after lessons, even for the sake of English or music lessons.

If everything has gone too far - the child is constantly humiliated or beaten - react immediately. First of all, protect the child from communication with the offenders - do not send him to school. It is important to help your child cope with the trauma he has received, so he will most likely have to be transferred to another class or even to another school.