How to deal with low self-esteem. Low self-esteem: we fight and win

Low self-esteem may well be. Let's trace the statistics. It turns out that on the planet 80% of the population is not satisfied with their professional status or position in society. How is it shown? Yes, a lot of what! For example, in the inability to get a good job or in the need to engage in an unloved and boring occupation, some people constantly face problems in the family, others suffer from loneliness or unrealized abilities. It is difficult for an insecure person to find mutual language with others, as well as he, as a rule, is prone to various kinds of phobias.

In this article, I would like to reveal the essence of this problem, point out the origins of its origin, and also give some tips on how to become more confident, more decisive, and therefore happier.

Low self-esteem. Definition of the concept

All of us, and there can be no exceptions here, I suppose, there is a so-called image of our own “I”, which can be considered the center of the personality. What does it consist of? I would say that, first of all, from the ideal idea of ​​oneself, and this self-awareness, as a rule, is very carefully guarded from any kind of criticism.

In our hearts, each of us is confident in our perfection, significance and uniqueness. Why? Yes, because a person simply could not live if he was completely sure of his worthlessness and uselessness. That is, initially in each of us, nature has laid a certain baggage of talents and confidence in overcoming difficulties. But the fact is that every day there are a lot of circumstances that, in one way or another, undermine our faith in our own abilities, and it is precisely as a result of this that such negative feelings develop as feelings of insecurity, guilt, fear and complete dissatisfaction with ourselves as a result. Low self-esteem, aggression, irritability and weakness appear.

How does an ordinary person act in this case? Do not know? I'll give you a hint. He begins to shift the blame onto others, and he himself goes deeper and deeper into himself, thereby only aggravating the situation.

Types of self-esteem

In general, psychologists believe that there are three types of self-assessment:

• low self-esteem;
• adequate;
• increased.

Without a doubt, the naturalness and adequacy of behavior should be considered the best self-esteem. Let's see how people with different self-assessments will behave. For example, let's take a mother with a small child.

Children are children. The mobile kid ran around the yard, fell several times, got his knees and palms dirty, the shoes, of course, were not particularly clean. A mother with low self-esteem will be ashamed of the child and will try to go home as soon as possible so that none of the neighbors will notice the "exploits" of her child.

A mom with adequate self-esteem is always ready for this kind of adventure, so there are wet wipes or a handkerchief in her pocket. The kid will not even notice how he will turn into a neat again.

Well, the parent with will try to turn sloppiness into a kind of feat, noting in front of the rest of the mothers that her child is the most gifted (fast, brave, courageous), and dirty clothes are just another confirmation of her rightness.

Low self-esteem: how to deal with it

Immediately I wanted to warn you that you should not count on a quick, let alone momentary result. This process can take quite a long time. Why? It seems to me because a person has to change his way of thinking and his own perception of himself, and this cannot happen overnight.

So, low self-esteem is a problem that anyone can cope with if they want, for this you just need to try to adhere to the following tips:

• Never compare yourself to other people. You are you! Remember it once and for all. Yes, perhaps you are missing something important from what your friends have, but, believe me, they envy you in something.
• Don't berate yourself and avoid self-deprecating comments at all costs.
• For complements, you need to thank, and not try to refute them.
• Surround yourself with positive people.
• Think and make a list of personal achievements and positive ones. You are guaranteed to have them!
• Give more than receive.
• Do only what you like.
• Live your own life.

As we treat ourselves, so do others. Low self-esteem is a syndrome that can lead to serious problems both in your career and in your personal life.

1. Perfectionism

Perfectionism can be both a manifestation of low self-esteem and its cause. A perfectionist striving for non-existent excellence or simply high standards rarely gets satisfaction from their work and is therefore more susceptible to criticism. He strives to correspond to the ideal image that he created for himself, and, not achieving it, he experiences a feeling of disappointment in himself, even to the point of contempt.

2. Speech

A person with low self-esteem constantly uses certain words in his speech.

First, these are negative phrases expressing denial: “Impossible, not sure, not ready, I do not have the appropriate knowledge; yes, but ... ".

Second, the constant apology. And thirdly, phrases that belittle the value of a person's actions and labor. Surely you are familiar with excuses: “I was just lucky”, “most of the work was done by my colleagues, and I was just helping them,” and so on. People with low self-esteem do not take compliments and gratitude well, striving to immediately argue with the praise and prove the opposite. Why? It's all about the guilt complex. It doesn't matter for what. Perhaps the work was not done well in their opinion, or they made little effort, fulfilling the request, even if they did it. Feelings of guilt are the next sign by which you can identify a person who does not think too much of himself.

3. Feelings of guilt

Feelings of guilt, like perfectionism, can be a cause of low self-esteem. As psychologist Darlene Lancer says, if a person feels deeply guilty and cannot forgive himself for this for a long time, he will constantly reproach himself for this, remind himself of his "load on his heart" and constantly be ashamed of his actions. Ultimately, he will lose self-esteem and, with it, self-esteem.

The dependence may be the opposite. A person with low self-esteem suffers from constant self-criticism and is not able to adequately perceive the mistakes of the past. Hence the neurotic feeling of guilt among insecure people.

4. Depression

According to a study by a doctor of psychological sciences, Lars Madslen - the reason for frequent depression or constant bad mood can also be self-doubt. Self-esteem is the key to both developing and curing depression, which is considered a serious psychological problem, she said.

5. Excuses

People with low self-esteem tend to justify others, even if their actions are contrary to all norms of behavior. Usually they argue that everyone has their own circumstances, that everyone can be understood. Psychologists explain this position as an attempt to avoid criticism in their address, which may well be encountered when condemning others.

6. Lack of initiative

What really hinders people with low self-esteem in the professional sphere is the lack of initiative. Such a person, who has received certain powers, will transfer them into the wrong hands at every opportunity. It is not surprising, because he is not sure that he will cope with his task, even if he is an "ace" in his field. In a dispute with the interlocutor, he, too, will hardly be able to defend his position, preferring to agree with the opponent.

7. Indecision

Such people are not ready to bear responsibility for their decisions. They generally prefer not to decide anything. Suddenly they make a mistake, and the decision turns out to be wrong. In this case, criticism cannot be avoided. The worst thing for people who are insecure is criticism of loved ones: relatives, friends, whom they are afraid of losing. After all, this, in their opinion, will be the payment for a wrong decision.

8. Trying to avoid conflicts

"I'm not sure - don't go in." This is the position taken by people with low self-esteem. They are ready to do anything to avoid conflict situations or tensions between people. Everything should be harmonious, even if this is achieved by "lying to the rescue", which sooner or later will lead to more serious problems.

9. Hostility

There is also the other side of the coin, when people with low self-esteem, on the contrary, show open hostility and cynicism towards others. This is just a variant of the defensive position, as they say: “ The best way defense - attack ".

10. Fatigue, insomnia, headache

Symptoms of low self-esteem can be physical as well as psychological. According to psychologists, extreme self-disappointment leads to chronic insomnia, fatigue and headaches.

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Low self-esteem can manifest itself at any age, but its makings are formed by parents in childhood. In modern society, it is a frequently encountered problem and is characterized by an inadequate vision of the personality of itself. This problem can seriously ruin the life of an individual. The main "companions" of low self-esteem include embarrassment, fear of being rejected or rejected, indecision, lack of confidence in personal potential and self-attractiveness, jealousy, cowardice, shyness, excessive sensitivity, fear to seem ridiculous. People with low self-esteem may never win. They obviously occupy a disadvantageous position in society.

Reasons for low self-esteem

The main reasons for the occurrence of low self-esteem include the assessment and influence of parents in childhood, the acceptance of the evaluative opinions of the people around them as an objective reality, the giving significance to any business in which you have been defeated, an overestimated level of claims.

Self-esteem of a person, like many other things, begins its formation from early childhood. In this period, the baby is not yet able to independently assess his actions and actions, therefore, he forms an opinion about himself by instilling in the immediate environment, mainly with the help of parental reactions to all his actions and deeds. Not giving children love, attention and affection, parents in them give rise to low self-esteem. Constant criticism of babies, excessive exactingness towards them is necessarily reflected in their entire future life. Continuous criticism from figures that are significant to children leads to a very low degree of self-esteem. The child gets used to constant criticism and perceives it as the norm. Therefore, growing up, he will no longer demand a better attitude towards himself.

Another reason for low self-esteem, which originates from childhood, is the use of "must ram" in parenting. Overuse this method parenting can create a sense of great responsibility in children, which subsequently leads to emotional stiffness. Often adults say: "Your father is a respected person, so you have to behave like him." In the subconsciousness of the baby, a reference model is formed, embodying which, he will become good and ideal, however, since it is not realized, there is a discrepancy between the ideal and the existing reality.

Childhood illnesses or external defects can also negatively contribute to the development of self-esteem. A sick child or a child with disabilities does not feel like others. If in childhood peers mocked at his defects, constantly reminding him of their existence, then such a child will certainly have low self-esteem.

Regardless of the good or bad performance of the task, there are always people who will criticize. If a person takes all, without exception, the statements of others on faith, then this will certainly affect his self-esteem.

People with low self-esteem of personality are characterized by a stable attachment of great importance to some events or consider themselves to be losers in comparison with others. This destroys their self-confidence and personal potential, leads to a loss of personal dignity, which ultimately leads to low self-esteem.

Often, unknowingly, individuals define for themselves, in order to achieve, goals that are so overestimated and a very short period of time for implementation that their implementation is practically unrealistic. After they fail to achieve these goals, their self-esteem is significantly impaired. The individual stops believing in personal potential, becomes disillusioned with his own strengths and stops making any attempts to make his dreams come true.

Signs of low self-esteem

The main sign by which it can be concluded that an individual has a low level of self-esteem is the attitude of others to his personality. After all, others intuitively perceive a person in accordance with her self-esteem. Therefore, if a person treats himself with respect and accepts his personality, then he will certainly be accepted and respected by the surrounding society. If a person does not love himself, then one should not expect love from the people around him. After all, when an individual belittles himself in his own eyes, then it is quite difficult for others to relate to him and think about him differently.

In addition, an individual with low self-esteem will unconsciously choose for himself the same interaction partners, who will once again only confirm such self-esteem. This behavior comes from the fact that each person seeks to involuntarily certify their self-esteem. This tendency is natural for individuals with inner insecurity, indecision and low self-esteem.

The problem of low self-esteem is often accompanied by the habit of constantly complaining about life, circumstances, one's helplessness, the inability to change anything in the current conditions, the urge to mentally call oneself unlucky, bad, imperfect, etc.

Feelings of self-pity stem from an inability to manage your own life. People are deliberately at the mercy of others or circumstances. Every now and then they are pushed in one direction or the other. They allow others to upset, hurt, scold, criticize and anger, because they are addicted and love attention, they want everyone to be good. Often, many individuals are happy that they are sick. Indeed, strength lies in weakness - others begin to pay them the desired attention to such an extent and are always ready to serve.

People tend to blame others and complain about them because they refuse to take responsibility for everything that happens to them. After all, it is much easier to shift the blame onto the people around him or unfortunate circumstances than to realize that the problem lies in himself. An individual who has a habit of complaining to others and blaming them for his own failures feels like an inferior person and tries to consolidate his position by humiliating others. Quite often, individuals blame others for what they do not like in themselves or for which they blame themselves. They are eager to condemn in the individuals around them precisely those shortcomings and weaknesses that are in themselves.

The problem of low self-esteem also lies in focusing their attention on their own shortcomings. People with low self-esteem usually look like this: drooping head, sad facial expressions, corners of the mouth down, stiffness of movements, etc. A person with adequate self-esteem appears to be more relaxed physically.

Dressing also demonstrates the adequacy of self-esteem. Hairstyle, clothes, makeup and grooming are a kind of self-presentation of a person.

Individuals with low self-esteem are characterized by inadequate responses to criticism. They take any comments and statements personally. You need to understand that absolutely all people can make mistakes. Discussion and analysis of mistakes will be constructive if the conversation is conducted with an adequate personality. An individual with a low level of self-esteem perceives the analysis of errors as a personal insult, a kind of evidence of his own inferiority, mental trauma.

Low self-esteem prevents such a person from separating his personality from the problem, himself from the situation. Individuals who wear fake masks think they are worse than those around them. In an effort to resist this feeling, they are often familiar, boastful, they talk too loudly, laugh revealingly or try to smite with their material well-being. Such people do not want to demonstrate to the surrounding society a genuine attitude towards themselves. Artificial masks are intended to cover their own insecurity, are an attempt to compensate for the deficiency dignity.

People with low self-esteem tend to have a lack of close friends. Feeling dislike for their own personality, they become either "loners" who live separately from society, or adhere to the opposite demeanor and turn into aggressive, assertive, overly critical, demanding people. None of these behaviors are conducive to friendships.

Low self-esteem can often be accompanied by a fear of making a mistake. Constantly doubting the ability to accomplish what others expect of him, the individual usually does nothing at all or may postpone the performance of actions for a longer period. The person refuses to make a decision, because he believes that he cannot do the right choice... The result of low self-esteem of one partner or both spouses at the same time can be divorce. Basically, such unions break up, in which one of the partners experiences a persistent need to dominate the spouse, control him or completely own him.

How to get rid of low self-esteem

The emergence of an inadequate assessment of oneself is, in fact, a symbiosis of feelings of guilt, resentment, shame, which most often people are not aware of.

Overestimated and underestimated self-esteem are considered two sides of the same medal of rejection of one's personality. Indeed, in the case of the slightest failure, an overestimated level of self-esteem instantly transforms into an underestimated one, and in case of success, an underestimated degree of self-esteem rapidly turns into an overestimated one, thus it is never adequate. Therefore, overestimated and underestimated self-esteem can coexist in one person.

How to deal with low self-esteem? Initially, you should find the causes of its occurrence and rethink them.

Dealing with low self-esteem starts with realizing your own strengths and weaknesses, making sure you have remarkable qualities and strengths that are worthy of respect and appreciation. You can play with yourself a fairly simple game of doing three things every day that make you happy. You need to start living for yourself, so you should make the simplest plans and fulfill them, live in a good mood, a positive attitude, smile more often and regularly praise yourself.

Low self-esteem, what to do? First you need to love yourself with all the flaws, mistakes, defects and shortcomings. You should try to understand that you, like any other person, are woven not only from disadvantages, but also have a lot of advantages and advantages.

You need to learn to take care of yourself, your gait, demeanor, etc. If you notice that you are walking down the street, looking at your feet, then move your gaze forward, put a smile on your face, remember the pleasant moments of life and boldly go towards your dream.

How to deal with low self-esteem? Very simple! You just need to start appreciating yourself. And for this, give yourself the opportunity to do what you have a soul for, start reading more. Maybe you need to change jobs? If this is not possible, then find your favorite hobby.

Dealing with low self-esteem is about self-control and willpower training. Active rest, physical exercise, daily workouts, contrast showers - ideally strengthen the body and mind.

How to get rid of low self-esteem? The answer to this question lies in a good attitude towards others and love for one's neighbor. Try to help people, do not avoid asking for help if you can help. This will give you importance in your own eyes.

Change your views on the world around you and society. Get rid of the constant depressing thoughts about the need to increase the level of self-esteem. Such thoughts will not lead to a good result. The most important rule on the way to adequate self-esteem is belief in oneself, personal potential and self-strength.

Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"

People rarely know how to adequately assess themselves and do not understand how to deal with low self-esteem and how to determine how much self-assessment is correct. What is self-esteem? This is a rather difficult question, and there is no definite answer. It is a collection of factors, each of which contributes to what we call self-esteem and self-esteem.

How to determine low self-esteem in women, what are the signs and reasons for this state of affairs?

It so happened that many women in our country receive a patriarchal upbringing. The main man in the house is always a man, and a woman is in a dependent position.

A little girl from childhood gets used to the fact that dad, uncle, brothers, they are always right, and she is obliged to obey them. This leaves its mark on the future of this girl. She will always feel guilty and dependent, no matter what she does.

As a rule, in adulthood, such women try to be invisible. They dress modestly, hide their eyes and do not know how to behave with men.

In rare cases, they manage to make a career, but in their personal lives they will still feel inferior.

Women with low self-esteem do not know how to accept gifts or compliments. It seems to them that they are not worthy of this, and they prefer to escape from increased attention.

If a relationship with a man does begin, everything will go in a circle. A woman will adjust to the influence of her partner and please him in everything. She will be afraid that if she shows her true character, will be herself, the partner will not like it, and she will play her role to the end. After all, in her opinion, love is sacrifice and suffering.

The reason for a sharp drop in self-esteem can be parting with a loved one. Often, abandoned women blame themselves for not holding back, noticing, and failing to cope. As a rule, in such cases, low self-esteem coexists with depression, which aggravates the condition.

Every woman needs to know how to deal with low self-esteem. This is beneficial for all women without exception.

1. For women, their appearance is very important. Yes, not only men love with their eyes. If a woman does not like her own reflection in the mirror, then what kind of self-esteem can we talk about? Get yourself in order. Go to a beauty salon and don't leave until you finally look at yourself in the mirror with admiration.

2. Nice underwear. This is what raises self-esteem in an instant. It may be expensive, but your own happiness is more expensive.

3. If the problem with the selection of underwear is due to a slightly "floating" figure, it does not matter. Put your laundry aside and sign up for the fitness room. Everyone needs a slender and fit figure. This is a reason to praise yourself and turn around in front of the mirror once again.

4. Get new knowledge. You have driver's license? How much foreign languages you know? In fact, it doesn't matter what you learn, yoga or belly dancing, the main thing is that you like it.

5. Smile. Even if it is sad, especially if it is sad. Stand in front of the mirror and smile. Even if you don't feel like it, stretch your lips into a smile, and stick your tongue out to yourself, or curl. Seeing herself laughing is helpful. This will cheer you up and give you strength to fight your self-esteem further.

6. Write a list of your strengths. Moreover, step by step, with explanations. For example: "I can draw eyebrows in such a way that Kim Kardashian would cry with envy if she saw it." These are small achievements and dignity, but you have them.

7. If your environment criticizes you endlessly, do you need such an environment? Would people who respect a person hurt him with their nagging? Reduce communication with these critics to the bare minimum.

8. Don't compare yourself to someone else. Compare your past accomplishments with your present ones. After all, you have learned something in this life, advanced in your success, and this is a reason to be proud of yourself.

9. Help someone who needs help right now. Bring the bag to your grandmother, feed the kitten, and their "thanks" and grateful look will make you feel needed.

How to raise women's self-esteem?

Low self-esteem in a man

Signs of low self-esteem in men can manifest themselves in different ways. Sometimes a man withdraws into himself, suffers from depression, which can lead to alcoholism, aggression or social isolation.

As with women, men have attitudes. A man must be strong, courageous, successful, and popular with women. If there is a failure in even one of these "shoulds", everything else can fall down. One misfire in bed destroys career, courage and lowers self-esteem to zero.

Some men try to hide their low self-esteem by excessively caring for their appearance... They look great, but at the same time they listen carefully, is there anyone laughing behind him? This poisons their lives and spoils relationships with others.

To raise a man's self-esteem, you need to try. As a rule, men are very stubborn and rarely admit that they have problems with self-esteem, unless it crushes them completely.

The first step for a man should be to admit that he has low self-esteem. This is already a step towards raising it. It is good if there is an understanding woman next to such a man to support him and praise him for his successes. If there is no such woman nearby, you will have to cope on your own.

1. Ideal men do not exist, and you should not compare yourself with someone else. Nature has endowed everyone with different talents and abilities. If you don't know how to do somersaults like Jackie Chan, then maybe you are genius in telling jokes?

2. When women meet, they look at a man's face for only 10 seconds. If you are not a written handsome man, you should not worry about this, for most women, male beauty and the correctness of facial features are secondary. If you want to please a woman, go to the gym. In this case, the woman will admire your toned figure and forget about the imperfect face.

3. Whatever one may say, a man must be intellectually developed. Read more, develop and become a pro in your field. In fact, you will be forgiven for not knowing the name of the longest river in the world if you are good at fixing computers, translating essays wonderfully, or finding the information you need in no time.

4. Don't berate yourself for failure. You might fail once or twice, but that's not a reason not to try again. Most people like to watch "film after film", and only there you can see how many takes the actors have to do to make everything work out beautifully. But they are professionals and talents, but they also have to make dozens or even hundreds of attempts.

5. Many men want everything at once. They set themselves deliberately impracticable goals, and, not reaching them, fall into despondency. This is a huge mistake. Yes, it's nice to outline the main goal, but you should outline how to achieve this goal step by step. You may have to make adjustments to the plans or go the other way. Sometimes stubbornness does not allow even to admit to myself that somewhere in this plan a mistake has crept in. Find this error and admit that you have failed to work here, re-read paragraph number 4 and again into battle.

6. Oddly enough, but men are very dependent on the opinions of others. If the company is mentally wound up the strong man, he will certainly choose the weaker one and will raise his own self-esteem at his expense. In such a team, it is difficult to throw off the burden of an eternal loser and a "whipping boy". There are two options: either respond to the insults or leave. But you can't run forever. It is necessary to set yourself up, collect all the courage into a fist and put the boor in his place. This is only scary for the first time, but if you constantly swallow insults, there can be no question of any self-esteem, in general.

7. You should mentally prepare yourself for self-defense. Practice in front of the mirror, how you stand, how you look. Do you respect your posture and gaze? Self-confidence has to come through in everything, in gestures, in conversation, and this can be achieved with training. Make it a rule to talk to your reflection for at least 10 minutes every day. You can imagine that you are talking to your boss or someone you dislike. Tell him what you think of him. At first glance, this is a stupid idea, but it only seems. You must see yourself the way others see you. Over time, you will learn to be more confident.

8. Watch your appearance. No one loves or respects a slob. Even if your clothes are not from an expensive boutique, they should be neat. See a stylist, not just a hairdresser. And don't argue, men need stylists as much as women. Even a trivial hairstyle change can drastically change your life.

9. Start respecting yourself. People who allow them to wipe their feet on themselves can cause nothing but pity. Moreover, by their behavior, they themselves provoke other people to aggression, and only the man himself can break this circle.

Low self-esteem in men. Discussion on the channel "Stillavin and his friends"

Low self-esteem in a child, how to deal with it

Low self-esteem in adults is a consequence of childhood problems. A person is not born with high or low self-esteem, and all this is formed in childhood. Parents can raise a loser without even knowing the trauma they are inflicting on their child.

A child does not have to deserve the love of a parent. He should always know that his parents love him, no matter who he is.

As a rule, low self-esteem in children applies to everything. He does not want to solve the problem, to get on the bike not out of laziness, but out of fear of not being able to cope.

These children have no friends. They often cry, are capricious and consider themselves ugly.

If parents notice signs of low self-esteem in a child, this is a reason to sound the alarm. The sooner you start correcting the situation, the more chances your child gets for a normal life.

How to get rid of low self-esteem in a child, you should listen to the advice of a psychologist. After all, child psychology is somewhat different from adults, and they have their own understanding of the world.

1. The child should know that his parents always love him. Even when he tore new pants or got a deuce. After all, this is a trifle that is not worth the mental health of the baby. This is just a child, and he is just learning to know the world. And in order to know him, he must fill more than one bump and tear more than one pair of pants.

2. Even if the child is guilty, in no case should you say "You are bad." Replace this phrase with a more specific one: "You did wrong." That is, you need to criticize the offense, but not the child himself. After all, children do not deliberately break their mother's favorite cup and hit the glass with a ball. Children and adults also sometimes have problems with coordination of movements.

3. Talk to your child. Adults are often busy and “leave me alone” is the only thing children hear. But they have a million questions, and on the basis of the answers they form their own idea of ​​life. The eternal "do not bother" makes the child feel superfluous and unnecessary to his own parents.

4. You shouldn't compare your child with someone more successful. For some, mathematics is easier, and for others history. You can't be talented in everything. Of course, this is not a reason not to learn difficult subjects, but you should not focus on what the child cannot be successful in by nature. Criticism should be productive and not demeaning to your child. Remember, when you were in school, you succeeded in everything at once?

5. Make it clear to your child that he is a person, that he is unique, and he does not need to try to be like someone else. After all, children choose their idols not because of their appearance or success, but because they want the same love of others.

6. Give your child the opportunity to develop. Often there are traditions in families, and if there are all doctors in the family, the child is certainly pushed into medicine. If the child wants to do sports or musical career, right there at the family council they admit that he is "a dumbass and a disgrace to his surname." The child is broken for the sake of their ambitions.

7. In adolescence, low self-esteem is especially severe. Children join informal youth groups and demonstrate their independence with all their appearance. In fact, this is a cry for help from a child. He cannot be himself and is looking for his own kind, but even there he feels superfluous. A child's internal conflict can lead to adolescent drug addiction or alcoholism. To avoid this, you need to look closely at the environment of your child. While the child is looking for where to go, it is the parents who can offer him a safe and rewarding hobby.

8. Parents must understand that they cannot shield their child from the outside world. All the kids are teased at school, and the difference is how these kids react to being teased. Teach your child the correct reaction to such pranks. Tell us how you were teased as a child, how you teased your classmates, and come up with a couple of funny stories. While the child is small, he needs patterns of correct behavior, and only parents can provide them.

9. Remember that children with low self-esteem cannot grow up to be a happy and successful person. If everybody kicks a child in the class, the same will happen in the university, and then at work. Self-esteem is formed from childhood. Respect the opinion and personal space of your child, and then he will also demand respect for his space and strangers.

How to determine a child's self-esteem

Healthy egoism is not a vice, but the necessary qualities of every person with normal self-esteem and self-esteem.

Everyone around you tells you that you deserve the best. A friend invites you to classes in a flamenco studio, mom suggests changing your wardrobe ... You timidly agree, indistinctly muttering that yes, it would be nice, and you will definitely, next time ... What is stopping you from following these advice right now? Perhaps it is self-doubt. It's time for you to find out what low self-esteem is and how to deal with it.

You need to figure out how to get rid of low self-esteem if unpleasant things often happen in your life:

You cannot say “no”, you are afraid that your refusal will offend someone, embarrass someone, and upset. At the same time, you are not at all happy to fulfill these requests, and sometimes you are very annoyed that you could not refuse. When a person does something of his own free will, he gets pleasure from it and is satisfied with the result.

You care too much about someone else's opinion. You are worried that someone will speak badly about you, and you are ready to constantly give up your desires for the sake of public opinion. Not believing in your capabilities, you are afraid to make a choice, you try to shift the responsibility onto others, asking, "What would you do?" The flip side of such tactics is criticism of others, because they made the wrong choice for you. But you perceive any remarks painfully and you see them only as proof of your inferiority.

You don't know how to accept compliments at all. You are pleased to receive gifts and hear beautiful words to yourself, but you feel like a deceiver, unworthy of praise. You are more accustomed to being a Sacrifice - whining and complaining, counting on sympathy, not admiration.

You are too critical of your appearance: eye color, hair, waist width, height - all this, in your opinion, is far from ideal. Very rarely do you like yourself in the mirror.

You are unhappy with your surroundings. Psychologists have long noted that subconsciously insecure people surround themselves with those who constantly confirm their low self-esteem. If you emphasize other people's shortcomings in order to feel better than others, you do not have good friends: they are repulsed by your harsh criticism, and often envy and bragging.

If you find signs of low self-esteem in your behavior - take urgent action!

Self-doubt makes you gloomy and irritable, dangerous and can ruin your life.

First of all, low self-esteem prevents you from building a successful career and healthy relationships with people. An insecure person often refuses difficult, interesting work out of fear that he will not succeed. Sometimes it's worth risking your fear and embarking on an adventure, taking on a new task, otherwise you will always be outstripped by less capable, but more confident people. If you constantly think that nothing will work out, and you will not cope, then you will never be able to show your talents and achieve success.

Due to low self-esteem, you are afraid of losing love or friendship, and you constantly give in, abandon your desires for the sake of someone's interests. Instead of going to a cafe with a friend, you go with your beloved to a horror movie that he has long wanted to watch. Of course, you can't be selfish and think only of yourself, but compromise is a two-way road. Constantly obeying the opinions of others, you risk losing the respect of loved ones. You are always tense, tormented by anxiety and doubts, you do not sleep well. This is very dangerous - this is how neuroses develop, and here you will not be able to do without the help of a specialist. In some cases, self-doubt leads to various addictions that destroy health and psyche in the literal sense.

The constant stress you experience can lead to serious illness.

How to improve self-esteem?

You have already taken the first steps: you found the main problem and found out why low self-esteem is dangerous. It's time to take action. You will be helped by simple actions that will completely change your life.

Down with perfectionism!

You must understand that ideal people do not exist, and stop blaming yourself for being far from perfect in some way. Perfectionism is the flip side of self-doubt. Stop telling yourself that since you can't do great, there is no need to start, and remember that athletes train for a very long time and make mistakes before achieving results.

Conquer your fear

Get rid of the fear of loneliness that affects your relationships with people. The most valuable resource in every person's life is time. Sometimes being alone is very useful: it is an opportunity to relax, calmly make plans for the future and think over the ways of their implementation, to see new perspectives. Make a list of things that are important to you that you never had enough time for. Instead of going to a boring fashion show with your friends, sit at home with interesting book... If you enjoy cooking, find a new recipe and cook it for yourself.

To live life wisely, you need to know a lot.
Two important rules remember to start:
You'd rather starve than eat anything
And it is better to be alone than with just anyone.

Omar Khayyam

You can't praise yourself ...

When dealing with low self-esteem, it is helpful to praise yourself for any, even minor, success. Have you solved a difficult problem? Great, let yourself enjoy the feeling of victory. Ordinary house cleaning should be a reason for joy: calmly and slowly make a cup of tea or coffee and sit in a beautiful and cozy kitchen or room, taking your time, feeling satisfaction from a job well done.

Accept compliments with dignity

Stop being embarrassed, indistinctly mumbling that it somehow happened by itself, it is better to calmly and with a smile thank you for the good words. You deserve them, do not doubt it! If you deny your own successes all the time out of false modesty, they will simply cease to be noticed. When you begin to value yourself, your time and your work, the opinion of others will also change.

To build on your success in dealing with insecurity, find a job you can do great.

You sang well as a child - try going to a karaoke bar with your friends. If you love to draw, then sign up for an art studio. Perhaps you will surprise everyone with your talents, and in any case you will get pleasure and a lot of new impressions.

Be prepared for the fact that not everyone around you will support you in the fight against low self-esteem.

Perhaps your friend is used to being bright and witty against your background, and your boss is used to loading the trouble-free "gray mouse" with additional work. Your man is sure that you are always waiting for him, and it does not matter that he is four hours late every time, because he decided to sit with friends, despite your plans for the evening. Such people can hinder you on the way to your goal in different ways: by conducting long conversations about your shortcomings, making critical remarks about your appearance, and sometimes reproaching you that “you were better before”. This is a lie - you were just "easier to use." Such a relationship should be broken off as quickly as possible without any regrets.